Does anyone have words of advice on conquering the mental and psychological challenges of EM2WL?
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rw0lf
Posts: 4
Hi everyone. I`m new to the group; I`ll try and keep this post to the point.
I used to weigh 215lbs. I`m now down to between 130-133. I did it the `classic` way; cut calories hard, kill myself with long duration cardio. It took about 3 years in all.
In the last 4 months, I have been almost too tired to work. I am constantly in a foul mood. I combat depressive episodes by not eating. I combat perceived weight gain by cutting calories further. I`m sure a few of you at least are familiar with this cycle.
The final straw for me was when I started losing my hair. My hair has always been the best thing about my superficial appearance, and I was always grateful to be blessed in that department. I have an underactive thyroid (medicated now for nearly a decade) which doesn`t help my situation, but my hair used to be thick and abundant and the envy of hairdressers everywhere, despite the thyroid condition. Over the last 4 months, it`s gotten noticeably thinner by the week.
Of course, it`s appalling that it took this long for me to realise that what I`m doing to my body is slowly destroying it. It`s made me realised how poor my appreciation of my health actually is. I should have seen it sooner, but my dysmorphic view of myself always kept me wanting to see bonier shoulders, thinner legs and visible ribs. I see the mess I`ve gotten myself into.
I was just wondering if anyone had any comments on how to stay on the EM2WL path when hardline restriction has been a person`s diet philosophy for so many years. The thought of increasing my daily intake by even 100 calories is terrifying. All I see ahead of me is a return to the days of being the invisible fat girl, the self loathing, the feelings of failure - even though I have no reason to believe that EM2WL won`t work for me as it has for all of you.
I want to do EM2WL and stick to it - now that I`ve realised how much damage I`m doing to myself, I know I need to turn things around - but I`m worried I`ll have a `fat day` and throw it all out the window. If anybody has felt the same when starting the EM2WL approach and has any advice on how not to cave in and go back to heavy restriction, I`d love to hear it.
Thanks,
Becka.
I used to weigh 215lbs. I`m now down to between 130-133. I did it the `classic` way; cut calories hard, kill myself with long duration cardio. It took about 3 years in all.
In the last 4 months, I have been almost too tired to work. I am constantly in a foul mood. I combat depressive episodes by not eating. I combat perceived weight gain by cutting calories further. I`m sure a few of you at least are familiar with this cycle.
The final straw for me was when I started losing my hair. My hair has always been the best thing about my superficial appearance, and I was always grateful to be blessed in that department. I have an underactive thyroid (medicated now for nearly a decade) which doesn`t help my situation, but my hair used to be thick and abundant and the envy of hairdressers everywhere, despite the thyroid condition. Over the last 4 months, it`s gotten noticeably thinner by the week.
Of course, it`s appalling that it took this long for me to realise that what I`m doing to my body is slowly destroying it. It`s made me realised how poor my appreciation of my health actually is. I should have seen it sooner, but my dysmorphic view of myself always kept me wanting to see bonier shoulders, thinner legs and visible ribs. I see the mess I`ve gotten myself into.
I was just wondering if anyone had any comments on how to stay on the EM2WL path when hardline restriction has been a person`s diet philosophy for so many years. The thought of increasing my daily intake by even 100 calories is terrifying. All I see ahead of me is a return to the days of being the invisible fat girl, the self loathing, the feelings of failure - even though I have no reason to believe that EM2WL won`t work for me as it has for all of you.
I want to do EM2WL and stick to it - now that I`ve realised how much damage I`m doing to myself, I know I need to turn things around - but I`m worried I`ll have a `fat day` and throw it all out the window. If anybody has felt the same when starting the EM2WL approach and has any advice on how not to cave in and go back to heavy restriction, I`d love to hear it.
Thanks,
Becka.
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Replies
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Do facts help you with fears?
For instance, eating even 100 calories over maintenance would take 35 days of doing it to gain ...... 1 whole pound. And if good exercise, not even all fat, or any probably.
Your body is a huge amount of water, and that is needed water usually in many places, like blood volume.
If exercise in the summer caused the body to increase blood volume for the sweating you would be doing, would that be bad?
Would you try to drain some blood because you didn't like that extra water volume?
Or is knowing the story behind potential changes a way to alleviate fears?
Like you hear a terrible metal rolling noise in your back wheel, and are sure it's going to come off, and don't want to drive anywhere.
But then it's seen the dust cap for the bearing popped off and is rolling around, merely noise, no real mechanical problem until it can be taken care of. And only makes noise moving slow.
Still fearful, or willing to drive it now?
Or is the realistic future of losing your hair merely enough to scare you?
Along with that fact that if the body had to slow down that basic function, there are others that are too, because of undereating. Hair is visual, the other stuff could be "mechanical", like thyroid problems can be made by undereating.0 -
I think maybe I should have been clearer in my OP about the kind of advice I was looking for.
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I have just started the em2lw program, so I can't answer your question from personal experience, but the people I have had personal correspondence with tell me that when I get to goal weight to increase calories VERY SLOWLY up to maintenance level. They also say that the MENTAL aspect is a large part of staying there. (We have all been so brain washed to believe severe calorie restriction is the only way to lose weight and keep it off) I don't know how to get that MIND SET but am hoping to figure it out by the time I get to that point. I am most interested to hear the responses to your post. Good luck on finding that happy place and restoring your health.0
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I can't really help with much but I have a suggestion! Maybe you should take prenatal vitamins - the folate is good for your hair... maybe it will help a bit. You don't have to be pregnant to take them, a lot of women start taking them when they get pregnant but never stop because they make their hair and nails strong.0
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I feel your fears that you have from eating more to lose weight. I am new too, but after doing this for about 2 weeks, I absolutely don't feel tired or low energy. The difference that I did with EM2WL is I increased my calories all at once. Probably not recommended, but I had to have a heart to heart talk with myself (and the support of others on social media platforms) that I HAD TO PUT THE SCALE AWAY. It was a given that I will increase in weight. But once my body understood that I was not going to give it less and less calories because I was not losing weight, it has began to use that for energy. My workouts feel better (if that makes sense). I don't feel a need to deprive myself. I am not nearly where you are though with losing weight. I weighed 227 and right now I am at 178. I want to lose about another 20-30 pounds (depending on how my body reacts to this eating more/counting macros/weight lifting). I get discouraged too after a week of "trying a new way of eating" and I don't see results. But this time I am doing a better job, mentally, to tell myself everyday that the sale does not matter. I feel good. I feel better. I have more energy. I keep a private journal to write every single day how I am doing and feeling. One of the best things that I have learned through this weight loss journey is that we will mess up. We will back track a little. BUT THAT IS OK. I have been able to say to myself, "ok well today I didn't do so great, but I will try again tomorrow." It takes time. The science behind eating more for your body for not just weight loss reasons, but health in general, all make sense. It is very interesting. Good luck! Stay focused and concentrate on how you feel and not the number on the scale.0
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I think maybe I should have been clearer in my OP about the kind of advice I was looking for.
I was speaking to this specific aspect - fear of what could happen, and the end result.
"I was just wondering if anyone had any comments on how to stay on the EM2WL path when hardline restriction has been a person`s diet philosophy for so many years. The thought of increasing my daily intake by even 100 calories is terrifying. All I see ahead of me is a return to the days of being the invisible fat girl, the self loathing, the feelings of failure - even though I have no reason to believe that EM2WL won`t work for me as it has for all of you."
That's why I was curious if through your life you have already figured out what helps with your fears.
Like some people with fear of flying - learning about how and why is enough to get over it. Some don't care, just gotta do it. Some want a hand to hold and info doesn't help either. Or combo.0 -
I think, honestly, you have an eating disorder mindset. As a therapist I've seen it a lot. You might want to seek out some professional help to work through this mindset. BUT if you can't do it (no money or another reason) than I can suggest that you try out this CBT self-help programme (it's free but tougher to do on your own).0
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I would also suggest that you go to the EM2WL website and read about people's experiences. A lot of people, including myself, have written about their experiences in the forum. I didn't come from an under-eating diet so I can't speak to you from personal experience, but there are a lot of people on there who have.0
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One day at a time and don't give up. That's basically my advice for everything.0
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I have just joined the community and only read a few of the intro blogs but found them so useful already. Coincidentally on the same day that I joined my dietician told me that:
a) My body will not release weight because I am under eating (therefore starving it)
b) If I continue the way I am with huge amounts of exercise and a severely restricted diet that my body will simply shut down - I will collapse
c) My mind is very powerful but my body is in survival mode and no amount of mantra's, rethinking the way I see my body and other positive thoughts will make it relinquish the few nutrients that I give it. It will continue to transform them into fat for storage "just in case", until I get into a healthy eating pattern.
From a psychological point of view first identify the stories that you are telling yourself about food, your relationship to it and how you believe it affects your body. Once those are identified, test yourself by asking if the beliefs and stories are true? Then change your mindset towards the beliefs - in my case, it immediately allowed me to get through my first time of eating 3 meals in one day in three years (the meal size doesn't matter - the challenge was just having 3 proper meals.)
You might also want to get the support of a psychologist or a dietician with coaching and psychological training?0 -
Thank you for sharing your experience aaliceinw.0
