HELP! Fleeing the Feeling to...

Options
RejsGirl
RejsGirl Posts: 198 Member
make BAD choices! For some reason, I got the kiddos off to school this morning and on the way home I had this almost uncontrollable desire to do something "bad". Light up a cig, have a drink or eat - a lot of bad for me stuff. It's 7:30 in the morning, WTH?!?

I suppose I was a bit stressed because of all the traffic around the school, I know I have my period and feel like poo to begin with, but why do I want to basically torture myself? The house is quiet, I can do whatever I want, no stress here...why would the very first things that I would consider doing, be to hurt myself & my self esteem?

I am finding myself very frustrated these days anyway. I'm battling it out from 166-170 lbs. and have been for about 4 months now. I'm no where near quitting but I just need...something....anyone have any ideas of what's going on or what I can do besides all the things I shouldn't be???

Replies

  • 48801
    48801 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    I have found when I want to do something "Bad" there are feelings that I wish not deal iwth or feel. This is the case with me. Most of the time, it's mindless. I am not aware that I am doing this until after the fact. The dah light comes on, "So this was the reason."

    I have found that venting on this forum helps. I wrote, once I started the words spewed forward. I had no idea what I was feeling, only that I wanted to run, escape.

    Good for you! Never quit. This too shall pass;-)) I'm new to weight loss, I have no steadfast advice on losing weight;-)
  • RejsGirl
    RejsGirl Posts: 198 Member
    Options
    48801 wrote: »
    I have found when I want to do something "Bad" there are feelings that I wish not deal iwth or feel. This is the case with me. Most of the time, it's mindless. I am not aware that I am doing this until after the fact. The dah light comes on, "So this was the reason."

    I have found that venting on this forum helps. I wrote, once I started the words spewed forward. I had no idea what I was feeling, only that I wanted to run, escape.

    Good for you! Never quit. This too shall pass;-)) I'm new to weight loss, I have no steadfast advice on losing weight;-)

    Thanks for the post. Luckily I haven't had that feeling again since I posted, but when it happens, it's strong! It definitely makes me want to eat the house down.
  • djhnd
    djhnd Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    I know that feeling - I think it's pure craving, like just for any way to feed dopamine to the parts of the brain that crave it. What 48801 makes sense - probably the reason for wanting/needing the dopamine hit is to distract / soothe from some other, less pleasant feeling.

    FWIW, I think it's human nature to have those feelings of wanting to alter one's consciousness, even with food - what we call "being bad". It's too bad fulfilling those desires is almost never as satisfying as we hope it will be.

    I'm sure you're doing great Rejsgirl. Anyone who comes on here and talks about what's going on is already way ahead of the curve