That does sound frustrating not much else I can say that you haven't already said. Knowing she won't do anything about until SHE wants to is hard. Because you wonder how much damage will have been done by then.

I think it's important to be patient with people like that. Weight or fat loss is not just being eating the right diet but being in the right frame of mind to make theses changes. When a person has been so addicted you food it's difficult to break the habit, even when they know the truth and how what they are eating is affecting them.

One of the easiest ways of getting into the right frame of mind seeing the results. I think that if she can see what you are capable of achieving on a keto diet then she will also make the necessary change. That's what I think.

Hopefully at some point she will realize what she's doing to herself.

prairiedana wrote: »

she's said she really should count carbs and be more cautious of keeping her insulin levels down and take her doctor's advice seriously, but[\i]

Its hard for me to read that and not think of my own mindset when I was going down that road. Failed diet followed by months or years of not caring/trying. Thinking about it was just depressing, so if you don't think about it, or joke about it, its like it'll go away. Having serious internal debates, "well i'm never going to get healthy so i'll just eat what i want and at least i'll enjoy that and i won't have to worry about getting old or anything like that".

Not that this girl's mindset is necessarily the same but I assume a lot of folks here can relate. The worst part is there is probably absolutely nothing you can do to help her except be ready to be there and be supportive if she does hit a point where she's honestly ready to do something. Again I can think to myself here, any time I got suggestions from people I would just push them away and think to myself, "they don't understand, its DIFFERENT for me than it is for them". Advice tends to be unappreciated.

Again, my personal feelings and maybe I'm completely projecting them onto this person and am completely wrong, but I lived that life for a very, very long time. Hell, I even did Atkins a few times with some success, but never remotely close to the success I've found now.

I hope she snaps out of it and figures it out, whether through keto or something else.

While I agree about the "don't give unsolicited advice" part (and I can sympathize with having to watch someone destroy themselves, knowing you have a way they can fix it all), I think it might be good to say something along the lines of "hey, I've had success counting carbs. If you're ever interested in giving it a shot, I can help you out, if you want. Maybe we can even do it together."

Basically, don't give advice, but she's mentioned counting carbs, so some part of her is interested in doing it (or at least knows it's "good for her"), so offering to help in some way may help break down a barrier or two for her, since odds are, she probably feels pretty alone on the carb counting front.

I consider myself lucky, here's my brief story. I've worked for a family business for ten years, and those few of us that are not family are treated as if we were. They have seen my weight creeping up over the years and recently had a friendly "intervention" with all of the support and motivation (but without the reality-tv formula threats). One mentor in particular, already doing keto, has been a literal life-saver! (There is no doubt I was headed for diabetes, heart attack, or stroke. It was just a matter of time.)

I've already lost weight, started exercising, stopped taking antacids, feeling more energy, and my blood pressure is significantly lower. And I love what I'm eating!

In my case, I'm glad someone stepped in.

m_puppy wrote: »

For those that are having a hard time with other people's size and eating habits, do you think you're focused on their health because you're so focused on your own health and/or your unhappiness with your own body? I don't mean to imply any of you are disingenuous. But I know for myself, the more critical I am of my own body, the more I notice flaws in other people's bodies. The more I focus on what I am eating, the more I focus on what others are eating. Again, I'm not implying that you don't genuinely care for this girl/your family/friends. We all benefit from a little self-evaluating when it comes to our reactions to other people's choices and lifestyles. [...]

The bottom line is no one has succeeded at a diet before they were ready for it. I think it's nice that so many of you are concerned about your loved ones. If we all spent more time being concerned about improving ourselves and being our best selves, we wouldn't need to worry about those that are capable of taking care of themselves.

I can't speak for the others, but those that I'm concerned the most about are objectively, basically, slowly killing themselves, and their doctors aren't giving them information that actually helps.

Here's what I'm dealing with:

My father in law is significantly overweight, most of which located in his abdominal area. He's Insulin Dependent Type 2 Diabetic, and has a failing back for which he's already had one surgery and the surgeon says that if he doesn't lose weight, he'll have to have more (and more, all the way up his back, until his entire spine is made of metal and basically fused together), and takes a handful of pills for various other things, including blood pressure and cholesterol. He lives on white bread, pasta, other refined wheat products, and sugary drinks (namely tea), with the occasional piece of meat thrown in. He's stubbornly the type of person that doesn't eat vegetables.

He also could be the poster boy for success on a nearly all meat diet. It'd basically be a dream come true for him -- all the freakin' steak he could want, bacon and eggs on a regular basis, real butter, and no need for vegetables. Except that he's too damned stubborn to give up bread, even for just a month. Instead, he insists on the status quo that is slowly killing him, and as a result, will be lucky if he sees 55, let alone see his grandson graduate from high school, and he's not even 50 yet.

My mother in law isn't quite as bad off, but is on the verge of starving herself in an effort to lose the 20lbs or so of excess weight she has (which is being done in the standard CICO fashion, and not really working for her), is on the verge of Diabetes and is fighting to keep from becoming Diabetic, and also takes meds for blood pressure and cholesterol. She also deals with depression and anxiety issues. Again, all things that can benefit from at least dropping the grains and adding some more good fats back into her diet.

I have the cholesterol, blood pressure, and glucose numbers (on top of tons of research) to demonstrate that all of the above could be fixed, so they could, you know, live to see their grandson graduate (and maybe even be as fortunate as their parents to see a great-grandchild born and grow). So no, this isn't just about them being overweight, or feeling good in their own bodies (or projection of how I feel about myself). This is about actual health concerns.

I've also seen what advanced stage Diabetes does to a person when it gets terminal. My step-grandmother died of Alzheimer's, which was directly tied to her lack of blood sugar control. That was after she had to have a least one leg amputated. So, sorry if I don't want to see the same thing happen to my in-laws.

Consider this -- if you had the means to cure someone of, say, cancer (maybe you found some pill that did it, or something), and you had a loved one that was suffering from terminal cancer, would you not want to try to share that cure with them? How would you feel, then, if they turned it down for no other reason than because it breaks the status quo? You can't tell me that you wouldn't be frustrated and saddened by that situation.

You are absolutely right that one must be ready for diet change before they'll be successful at it. However, I wholeheartedly disagree that being concerned for the well-being of those close to us is a projection of our own views of ourselves. I'm not trying to change someone else because I hate how I feel or that I feel I'm being overly critical of myself. I try to encourage others to change, because I want them to still be alive and healthy 10, 20 or more years from now.

I have a few family members that are having health problems - doing the same "recommended by the medical system methods" and getting the same results - more sick.

I am biting my tongue and resisting saying anything to them - however I refuse to dull my sparkle ... I hope one day my example will cause enough interest that maybe one day they ask ... For now - I let them make fun of me - I ignore them when they tell me to slow down and I use my own head and think for myself.


It's so hard when people don't want to change or want to change but refuse to think for themselves.

kerrihwilson wrote: »

I am biting my tongue and resisting saying anything to them - however I refuse to dull my sparkle ... I hope one day my example will cause enough interest that maybe one day they ask ... For now - I let them make fun of me - I ignore them when they tell me to slow down and I use my own head and think for myself.

This. Lead by example.