Misc. Chat Thread - Feb. / March 2015
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@Llama -- Bummer about your camera! What was wrong with it?
It's 5 PM here and I've accomplished very little today. There are a few things that HAVE to get done today, so I am going to tie myself to my desk for a while. Right after I eat some ice cream. Gym-ing tomorrow instead of today. Just didn't wanna, and sometimes you have to go with it.0 -
i'm too tired for the gym. home before 5:30, practically, and i'm already wearing pyjamas and thinking of going to bed.0
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so i just noticed it's valentine's day. the armchair sociologist in me is now on recreational alert, and kind of wishing i'd been gymming consistently enough since xmas to have a baseline to compare with.
what i'm internally betting myself is that there will be a fresh mini-rush in the next couple of weeks. and mostly men, oddly enough. it's been my observation over the years that men take valentine's day far more personally than women do, and also on a slightly different level. they actually care whether somebody wants them or not, and vday seems to bring a lot of stuff to the surface in them. it seems to be one of those reference points in their lives, and many of the landmark fights i've had with boyfriends have come at me out of left field a week to ten days after valentine's day.0 -
@crabada there is an issue causing some unnatural flaring in specific situations. I knew it had been recalled but the one I had picked up had come in after the recall. The good news is I should get one before my vacation in March.
@canadianlbs that's an interesting observation and with some thought I believe my observations agree. In my experiences though vday angst in males seem to be tied to meeting expectations. Heaven forbid that we hear about a friend being "spoiled" by her man more so than how they did. So much plumage and macho-isms I find it rather frustrating.0 -
Interesting observation. I never notice much involving v-day but I've mostly been single and the rare time I wasn't it was a long distance thing and I never got anything more than a text saying happy v-day. My mom sends me a gift card on occasion for valentine's but that's all I've ever gotten. *shrugs* At least I can get candy when it's on clearance after the day is over. lol
mmm chocolate0 -
Llamapants86 wrote: »@crabada there is an issue causing some unnatural flaring in specific situations. I knew it had been recalled but the one I had picked up had come in after the recall. The good news is I should get one before my vacation in March.
My camera had a service notice issued right after I bought it for hot pixels and I still haven't sent it in! Such a bummer that they can't just be perfect off the bat.
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Llamapants86 wrote: »@canadianlbs that's an interesting observation and with some thought I believe my observations agree.
heh. could be i notice it because i'm kind of on the other side of whole valentine's thing. you might think that it's all about what the women want and what the women expect and all the pressure on men . . . but just try being someone who deeply, totally truthfully couldn't care less. i'm uncomfortable with all of that whole 'romance' thing, and i've kind of found out over the course of the years that guys might complain about it, but they also kind of 'rest' on it as a reliable aspect of any relationship. if you're an outlier in that respect, they can really give you a time-delayed meltdown about it as well.
perhaps this is cynical, but i don't really mean it that way since half-conscious expectations can torpedo just about anybody, in just about any aspect of life. when it comes to vday my experience is that men have expectations around it as well, the most obvious one being, to be blunt, that they'll observe the conventions and then they'll get laid. and they're often far less aware of even having that kind of expectation drilled into their wiring somewhere, so that's why it takes them so long for the resentment/whatever to detonate.
that was part of my theory until a few years ago, but that was just the up-personal thing. and then i got up one valentine's day and went to work, and i'm not kidding . . . by 10 am on that day i had somehow managed to rustle the jimmies of just about every. damn. man. that i knew. developers. janitors. 70-year-old retired physicists on the opposite side of the world. it was like they were all lining up around the block to pick some kind of hurt-feelings fight with me.
i don't even know what i did to tick them all off
except maybe not be especially feminine or something. but . . . i mean, they all knew me already, and it was like i was any MORE un-girly that day. something's weird about valentine's day.
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canadianlbs wrote: »when it comes to vday my experience is that men have expectations around it as well, the most obvious one being, to be blunt, that they'll observe the conventions and then they'll get laid.
Your bluntness is just plain scandalous! What will @MissHoliday think?!
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hey, buzzfeed said it as well. based on some gq survey or something, i think.
but, yeah. i'm claiming dibs on it as an insight long before buzzfeed started reading gq.
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It seems that my new hobby is to go in the office bathroom to flex my arms and be amazed by how my traps pop up.
Am I crazy?0 -
I find that my dates give me the most money to go to the powder room around this time
I forgot it was VD until my husband said on the chairlift, "So, I like our tradition of skiing on Valentine's weekend." I told him I was stewing that I didn't get Kay diamond studs, a heart shaped box of Russell Stover, and 50 Shades of Grey.
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DaivaSimone wrote: »It seems that my new hobby is to go in the office bathroom to flex my arms and be amazed by how my traps pop up.
Am I crazy?
hehe, that is kinda funny. I don't flex much cause my arms need work but I do find I look in the mirror far more now than I did when I weighed 30 lbs more. It's at home cause at work I have on the baggy t-shirt as I don't want to order a new one until I'm in a size that doesn't involve an X. The 2x is big so getting close. At home, I look in the mirror more to see if I can see the progress. Will see more when I get my place cleaned and have my coworker over as I'm working up the courage to have her take my pictures as it's hard to do the pictures on my own. Want progress pictures now and then again in either August or November.
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I think I need to re-watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and figure out how to land a bevy of sugar daddies.
No apologies.0 -
Unfortunately, it doesn't really provide much of a how-to other than showing how fun and fabulous she is. In the book, she was a lot more rough around the edges and attracted lower rent clientele. I like both versions but I wish someone would make another movie that was closer to the book. Now I'm rambling.0
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DaivaSimone wrote: »It seems that my new hobby is to go in the office bathroom to flex my arms and be amazed by how my traps pop up.
Am I crazy?
i go in the bathroom and just dead-hang from the cubicle doors for a couple seconds, a few times a day. so long as nobody's in there, of course. it's doing a lot for my grip, but it's probably also helping more than anythign else to keep my shoulders all nice and loose.
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so something i want to get off my chest. it's one of those first-world problems and it's just . . . irking me.
place i'm working in is a secondary building to the main one. has a tiny little lobby with a big desk, and a security guard sitting at it. idk why, but whatever. there the guy sits.
this security guard is just driving me nuts. i KNOW he's bored. i KNOW it's lonely. i know he's just doing his job and being the cheery personality is part of the job, i know he's extremely intelligent, easily smart enough to be doing any of the things any of us are doing; and i suspect not all that adept socially out in the general world and all that. i get it.
but i. just. can't. stand it. every single ever-loving time i enter or leave that building, i have to go through the lobby and that means i have to go by this young guy. and he Speaks to me. nothing meaningful or heavy or anything. but he tries to come up with some cheery folksy anodyne kind of observation about the weather or the fact it's tuesday or i don't even know, to brighten [probably his more than my] day with. i leave the building and go back quite a few times in a day, and i'm about ready to claw my eyes out. just stop it. STOP TALKING TO ME. i don't have that much to say to people who live in the same house with me - i don't talk this much to my friends. this is exhausting to me, and i understand what you 'meant' but i don't care what you 'meant'. you are wrecking my life. would you please, would you pleaseplease just leave me alone?
i needed to say that. don't feel better, in fact i've just talked myself into a real snarly introvert snit writing it down. but oh god.
/*and i guess i am snarly, but if all you extraverts out there don't mind . . . please don't even think about saying anything like 'just [suggestion]' or 'he probably [something]', okay? thanks. because no offence but i'm on my second-last nerve as it is and i don't want to hear it. this is one of those things where you're either wired the same way and you get it, or you're not and you don't. and if you're thinking along lines like those then frankly . . . you probably don't.0 -
Honestly, I would probably start wearing headphones when walking through the lobby. Big ones, so they are noticable. And look really busy staring at my phone or something. I can't stand small talk...not even with people I know. One of the things I hate the most about the gym is the person at the desk who always smiles and says "how was your work out today?".0
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I read a lot of advice columns (there's just something about other people's problems) and a tactic often given to dealing with difficult/trying/irritating people is to make up a game in your head. You could play a betting game where you guess the subject he'll bring up or play bingo in a similar fashion. This can help take away the dread of walking by him and make it more innocuous.0
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Starting this by saying.. I am just venting!
I am a very social person and since having daughter #2 18mths ago, my social life has gone downhill. I am finding the few friends I have without kids no longer want to get together. With just the one kiddo she was like my left arm and went with me EVERYWHERE and no one seemed to mind. Throwing in the 2nd and now that she is really mobile, doing a meal out with a friend feels more like a chore than fun catch up time.
SO...this Sunday I have nothing planned with my family. My hubby who watches kids full time offered for me to go out during their nap time so I could hang with a girlfriend. I have contacted 3 and all of them have plans already. NOW...I totally get it. I am a BIG planner, but hubby isn't so if he gives me a few days notice to get out I usually end up with no one to hang with. On the other side of it, if I do try to plan something with a friend weeks in advance, something else always seems to come up on my end (sick baby, hubby grumpy, etc), its feels like a lost cause.
I was blessed with a 4 day (4 tens) workweek for the first 5 years of being a mom. I used that 5th day for playdates, running errands, cleaning house, household shopping, catching up with girlfriends on their lunch hour, etc. Now I am back to 5 days a week and most weekends are designated for "family time", my own and my friends. And understandably so...
So other moms out there, how do you fit in time with girl friends? Does your SO watch so you can go out? Do you hire a sitter? Meet during work hours?
I am also trying to incorporate more than lunch/dinner dates. Like going for a walk/hike or running errands together. Nothing wrong with being productive at the same time right?!?
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I feel you symba1130 only as an introvert it is my alone time that I covet so it is a little easier to be spontaneous when it is just my schedule to worry about. We very rarely will hire a babysitter. If we go out just the two of us the kids will be at a set of grandparents (favorite part for me of going to see the inlaws, they are more than happy to watch the kids for a couple of hours). Maybe once every 6 weeks I will watch the kids for an afternoon/evening so my husband can get out and then he will do the same.
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Yep - same here. My husband will totally watch the kids. But it's like aligning stars to have time, energy, and desire to do something, and have the reciprocated by friends at the same time as well. I'm considering this a somewhat long, but passing phase of parenthood.0
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We moved to a new city after my daughter was born 3 yrs ago and I feel like I haven't had any fun since then. We have a babysitter but it is so expensive to have a night out now. It has to be a really important night to do it. My husband will entertain our LO a bit on the weekends so I can work out. I don't schedule girls' nights but I should. He would watch our LO once in a while if I wanted to go out. I just don't do it. I mostly see my friends when we have play dates with our kids.0
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Fortunately my closest friend is also a mom, so we try to schedule weekly dinner/play dates/sleepovers. The kids get to play, we get company preparing dinner, and once the kids go to sleep we drink lots of wine and talk. As far as girls nights out go, my husband and I work pretty different schedules and so he stays home with the kiddo if I want to go out on the weekend, and I stay home if he wants to go out during the week. Then once a year or so I go away for the weekend with my girlfriends. It almost seems easier to get 4 of us to Vegas for a couple of days than it is to try to meet for dinner or drinks 0
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Went out with a girlfriend for our usual happy hour. Had a lovely time discussing thesis topics, men, our lameass classmates, and whatever else came up. Had about five beers. Am resisting urges to contact the source of my bad mood / heartbreak. Le sigh. Am tipsy and should probably just go to bed already.
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I'm not social at all. I moved to a state where I knew no one less than 3 years ago. The ones I know now are all my coworkers and I'm single as I can't figure out how to find someone to date. The rare times I do go out are with coworkers but it's not very often as it's hard to have times where some of us aren't at work on the same day.
One of my coworkers is younger and has a little toddler. I'd hang out with her more or even help babysit so she could work more but often drama with the baby daddy gets in the way. But some day soon she's going to come over and to my progress pictures for me.
I don't mind random talking. What bugs me and I vent about it in my head is the strangers who use pet names for anyone. Sweetheart, any variation of love including my love, and other similar things are not something I'd call a stranger. I get it a lot, in particular from women. I was just getting money back from recycling cans from grocery store and the lady at the counter called me "my love." Umm, no, no I'm not. I don't know if it's because I don't look like I'm 30 or what but I find it weird and uncomfortable pending on the type of cutesy pet name.0 -
So I'm older and a few years beyond the "little ones" stage, but when my kiddos were young my friends (and my sister who is my bestie!) and I would have a scheduled night out once a week. I know it sounds like a lot, but at the time I was a SAHM to 4 and absolutely looked forward to that one night away from the craziness! It would be a night to laugh, b!tch and sometimes cry. And I was lucky to have a hubby who didn't mind. He had his golf league nights every week too.
Maybe having a scheduled night (i.e. 3rd Wednesday/Friday of the month) out with a few friends perhaps once a month to go to a movie, dinner or out for beers would work for some of you. Sometimes maybe not everyone could make it (yes, for those "sick kid/fussy husband/too much homework" nights, etc.), but most times there would be a few who could. And no need to feel guilty if you weren't able to make it that month.
For me, having my girls night out has kept me sane all these years and something to look forward to. We've been going out, I think, now for 20+ years. We always joke when we see 70+ year old women out having drinks that that will be us in 20 years. I hope so!!0 -
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ok, so I was at the gym on Wednesday and this personal trainer came over and offered me a free fitness assessment for Thursday. Since it was free, I decided, why not? So I went in yesterday to chat with him (for a smidge over 1.5 hours) and he designed a little vague plan for me during that time and then tried to sell me the sessions. Not even kidding, he wanted me to train with him 3 days a week for 38 weeks (that's almost as long as it takes to have a baby!) at $54.60 a session. YUUUP $6224.40! I was just like "NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" So I tried so see how few sessions he'd be willing to do and even his CHEAPEST option was still $1050 for 6 weeks of training and he wouldn't go less than 2 times a week. Frick, I could go to a community college for a year, learn what I need to do AND have a marketable skill in personal training for that kind of coin. Who is he kidding!? And I see people at this gym 3 times a week with the personal trainers (one trainer doesn't even pay attention to his client). CRAZY.
Oh, AND when I got there, I asked the guy at the front if I needed to change for this assessment. He said "Yes, you'll be doing a bit of a workout". So I changed. Yeah... no... I only got to sit in a chair talking to the trainer. My only workout that day was walking to the gym, and then running from the gym to the bus stop since I had to waste time changing back into normal clothes after talking to him and nearly missed it.0 -
Seriously, he didn’t even do a physical assessment?! What a joke!0
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@VeryKatie -- very likely you know more than he does anyway 0
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@VeryKatie I wrote up a long response to your personal trainer thing but MFP deleted it for me. In short I am sorry you didn't get what you wanted from the experience and I wish they would call the first meeting what it is. It is a combination of sales pitch and interview.0
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