Have you told anyone about your WLS?
Options
Replies
-
I was very open about what I was doing prior to surgery. Like you, I tend to over share anyway. But the real reason I was so open is because we lose so much weight so quickly in the beginning, the folks I see every day are either going to guess WLS or they are going to think I'm deathly ill, especially with the huge difference in what I'm eating. So I saw no point in trying to be coy about it.
My family was happy that I was finally going to something and be serious about my weight and health. And everyone else was very supportive and positive except one of my very best friends. She was concerned that this, like everything else she's seen me try, would fail because of my lack of followthrough, I was a little hurt, but honestly, she had a valid point. I had failed everything else. She wasn't hurtful or mean, just posed some questions and voiced her concern that this was very extreme. Since she has seen my commitment these last 3.5 years, she has changed her mind. If other's were thinking the same thing or waiting to see me fail, they kept it to themselves.
I do talk about it when appropriate simply because if sharing my story and my journey can help one other person walk away from a life of obesity, it's worth any negative comments.
Really it's a personal decision. Some people get negative reactions. I haven't. But you have to do what's best for you.0 -
RillaVanilla wrote: »That's such a funny thing about people not recognizing you. What do you say when that happens?
I have had this happen. I went to a wedding and someone who I worked with a couple of years back had no idea who I was when I waved to him from a couple of tables away until he realized who I was because of who I was sitting with. I laughed but it was really pretty weird at the same time. Next month I am going to see some family that I haven't seen in over a year, that will be interesting!
0 -
I've told quite a few people. I too want to be more of an advocate, but I don't want to have to explain to every single person that I come across. I'm only 2.5 months post op and I'm learning that because of my PCOS that the surgery isn't making me lose weight, but just finally making it possible for me to lose weight.... If that makes since. I feel like I'm losing g weight like a normal person would who doesn't have pcos. I have to work my butt off everyday and really watch what I eat or I don't lose anything. If someone asks I'm defiantly not going to lie though.0
-
[quote="RillaVanilla;31417387That's such a funny thing about people not recognizing you. What do you say when that happens? [/quote]
I had that happen last year at work. This person runs our properties department and is based on the other side of the state. She and I had worked together on and off for years, but we didn't see each other often. Since the last time we worked together, I had WLS and changed departments/positions and wasn't working with her at all anymore, so we really hadn't seen each other for a couple of years. At her visit last year, my boss was going to be out and asked me to meet with her. I met her and a couple of other people in the lobby and introduced myself. She had this look on her face like "I know the name but not the face", she really did not recognize me at all. I said "Liz, think really short spiky dark hair and about 100 pounds heavier". It was so funny! You could see when she finally connected me now with the person she remembered. I loved it!!
0 -
I haven't told too many people, and I am currently on the preop diet. Scheduled for surgery on 9th March.
I've decided that I'd prefer to tell people after the surgery, some I have told before and of course my family know and are very supportive. My main reason is that I am not a confident person and any negativity would damage my focus. Or at least might damage, and I am on a good path now. Like I said after surgery, the whole world will know, I have no problem with this.
Some of my work colleagues I haven't told, only because of their personalities, but then it is up to you. We each have to do what our heart and brain tells us. It's great that you have some family and friends and are going well. That is the main thing.0 -
"RillaVanilla wrote: »I've had well intentioned slim friends give me a lot of unsolicited weight loss advice over the years, which makes me VERY reluctant to put myself out there. I feel judged when I'm eating in public, and feel pressured to only eat foods that are perceived as healthy and nutritious, which is probably absurd and all in my head, as nobody has ever said anything to me directly... It's weird for me to not talk about it, because generally I'm a very open person who tends to err on the side of over sharing. Maybe after I've had the surgery and it's "too late to go back" I'll feel more comfortable talking about it.
Not absurd at all. I often felt judged before, whether I was or not I still don't know. I only told a few close family and friends until a couple weeks before surgery. After that I was pretty open about it. I'm happy to tell people about my WLS, but I didn't want people second guessing my decision either, so for me waiting to tell people until right before surgery worked.That's such a funny thing about people not recognizing you. What do you say when that happens?
Honestly, it's a little amusing to get the double takes and jaw dropping. What I say depends on the person and situation. Usually along the lines of "yeah I lost a lot of weight. I had WLS. Let's talk more later" Occasionally, it's weird because someone will treat you completely differently than before and you know the only thing that's changed their attitude is your size.0 -
@stroynaya I will admit I've secretly wondered if a certain group of moms at my son's school exclude me from group things due to my size... They are all ultra healthy slim moms, really into organic foods and eco awareness... Will be interesting to see what happens when I lose all this weight... One on one they really like me and we get along great, but I have never once been invited or included in a group outing... I don't have the nerve to ask them why... Could also be because I don't smoke pot and won't let anyone smoke around my kid. LOL!!!0
-
RillaVanilla wrote: »@stroynaya I will admit I've secretly wondered if a certain group of moms at my son's school exclude me from group things due to my size... They are all ultra healthy slim moms, really into organic foods and eco awareness... Could also be because I don't smoke pot and won't let anyone smoke around my kid. LOL!!!
Is it possible to be ultra healthy & smoke pot?
0 -
RillaVanilla wrote: »@stroynaya I will admit I've secretly wondered if a certain group of moms at my son's school exclude me from group things due to my size... They are all ultra healthy slim moms, really into organic foods and eco awareness... Could also be because I don't smoke pot and won't let anyone smoke around my kid. LOL!!!
Is it possible to be ultra healthy & smoke pot?
It's organic, don't cha know?!
0 -
RillaVanilla wrote: »RillaVanilla wrote: »@stroynaya I will admit I've secretly wondered if a certain group of moms at my son's school exclude me from group things due to my size... They are all ultra healthy slim moms, really into organic foods and eco awareness... Could also be because I don't smoke pot and won't let anyone smoke around my kid. LOL!!!
Is it possible to be ultra healthy & smoke pot?
It's organic, don't cha know?!
And you want to be friends with them why?
0 -
pawoodhull wrote: »RillaVanilla wrote: »RillaVanilla wrote: »@stroynaya I will admit I've secretly wondered if a certain group of moms at my son's school exclude me from group things due to my size... They are all ultra healthy slim moms, really into organic foods and eco awareness... Could also be because I don't smoke pot and won't let anyone smoke around my kid. LOL!!!
Is it possible to be ultra healthy & smoke pot?
It's organic, don't cha know?!
And you want to be friends with them why?
That's a good question... LOL
0 -
I never hid the fact that I was having wls. The support that I have received before and after has made all the difference. I am 4.5 months post op and down 102 lbs. If anyone ha any negative reactions to my doing this, they were never expressed to me. But if they were I would not have paid any attention because I did this for myself. To be healthier, more active and to live a long time to see my baby grow up. But I think for me being open about it has helped me accept all the changes that needed to be made and has helped me be more accountable for myself.0
-
I did not tell anyone except my close family and a couple close friends. I did not want to explain myself to anyone. It was a decision that I spent 5 years making for my own personal health reasons...I wasn't going to let anyone change my mind, scare me, and make me doubt myself. I only told those who would support me and respect my decision without feeling the need to force their opinion on me. I never once posted anything on Facebook, and still haven't other than new photos of myself, which people notice the difference. If they ask, I private message them. It's my story to tell, and everyone who knew respected that and didn't share my story. I will never ever deny having the surgery, but at 5 months post-op today and 84 lbs. lost to date, I do feel the need to sometimes explain that I didn't take the easy way out...some people think that when you tell them you had the surgery. I bust my butt every day...my new lifestyle consumes every minute of my day, what I eat, how I eat, how much I eat, how much I exercise, did I take my vitamins, did I track my food, etc. etc. etc. I am proud of my decision and my commitment to becoming healthy. I am not going to let anyone cast a shadow on how much I have accomplished. Make sure you don't either!
0 -
Can't hide anything in my family - things get around In a matter of minutes unfortunately. So yea everyone knows about mine.0
-
LOL - RillaVanilla - sounds like you're better off without them.
0 -
I just heard from a co-worker yesterday that 4 or 5 people had been asking her if everything is all right with my weight loss. They were concerned about my weight loss coming from illness. She told them that everything was good and that I was happy to talk with them. I thought that was a very good way to handle the third party question; not very many details and point them to a discussion with me.0
-
I just heard from a co-worker yesterday that 4 or 5 people had been asking her if everything is all right with my weight loss. They were concerned about my weight loss coming from illness. She told them that everything was good and that I was happy to talk with them. I thought that was a very good way to handle the third party question; not very many details and point them to a discussion with me.
How kind of her to handle it so diplomatically... I hope people will come to me directly if they have questions, but I live in a small community so not holding out too much hope... you know how it is! The rumour mill is always alive and active...
0 -
I work out hard, I exercise for at least an hour every day. the weight is not coming off due to this surgery, but by my changing my eating habits and exercise.... I do not discuss my surgery with anyone outside my family. I don't want people to think the surgery caused this weight loss, as it is a tool. I have enough on my plate with out being judged as taking an easy way out as this is not easy.
My gym friends don't ask, if I had surgery. Why would they, they see me putting in the hours at the gym and know I am working hard for this new body.
My mother doesn't even know.
0 -
jennifertrimblemartinez wrote: »I never hid the fact that I was having wls. The support that I have received before and after has made all the difference. I am 4.5 months post op and down 102 lbs. If anyone ha any negative reactions to my doing this, they were never expressed to me. But if they were I would not have paid any attention because I did this for myself. To be healthier, more active and to live a long time to see my baby grow up. But I think for me being open about it has helped me accept all the changes that needed to be made and has helped me be more accountable for myself.
I agree 100%
there probably will be comments that you won't like, but just remember they aren't living your life you are. I don't judge people for losing weight how they chose to, well not usually so whatever their opinion is its thiers. Carry ON!
0 -
I do not allow the opinion of others to dictate choices I make. I didn't care who knew and have never defended my choice. Their opinion doesn't matter, unless I ask for it. I respect the decision not to tell. That is each person's choice to make during this process. Best to you!0
