My goal is to continue eating healthily (ie eating my calorie allowance). So far so good (though there are too many days in my diary where once exercise is taken into account my net intake is not high enough). I have actually put off doing anything about the weight I'd gained for the past three years (and in that time 5kg turned into 15) out of pure fear of slipping back into restrictive eating. I made a few attempts at 'tricking' myself into losing weight (as in, trying to lose weight while pretending I wasn't ), but fact is I need to track to stick at it. So the aim is to make tracking work in my favour, cos I can see a number I have to get to each day.

Awesome work Pony!!

I think the not counting exercise is a hangover from when I did Weight Watchers years ago, you had the option of using exercise to 'earn' extra food or going for a faster weight loss, I always choose the latter. Of course the calorie burns MFP gives are completely out of whack with reality, so it doesn't help with knowing what your net actually is!

I thought of another goal that is kind of tied in last night, or makes my first one more important right now. I need to accept that my body is doing whacked out hormone stuff at the mo' (PCOS, had a cyst flare up for the first time since I don't know when about 5 days ago), and consequently weight seems to be sitting still. So I need to not do anything rash like cutting calories to get it moving again.

I think my PCOS is nothing compared to a lot of women's. I'm actually relatively symptom-free, just the occasional cyst trying to burst, or worse still actually bursting (that is pain I would never wish on anyone), and I have to watch my carbs to lose weight.

Now, in the interests of accountability, I managed to end up with a pile of calories left over for dinner today, and instead of just doing the smart thing and getting an ice cream, I made a big, healthy stuffed buttercup pumpkin for dinner, equally about 800 cals. Needless to say it kicked my butt, I only got 3/4 of the way through it. I was going to go to the shop and get an ice cream or something to deal to the rest, but there is seriously no room in my belly. So I'm about 300 cal short on net today .

This is the deliciousness, if anyone would like the recipe let me know (I recommend not trying to eat the whole thing in one sitting).

Well, I would have had nutritious stuff and ice cream . I've got my cals at 1200 at the moment, but increase on days when I'm doing fieldwork. When I'm at home working (or more likely mucking around on the internet) I'm sedentary as, unless I'm doing exercise, so that's totally adequate for me. Fieldwork days, even if I'm just standing watching diggers, I am way hungrier. I'm also up earlier, so it's kind of like I have an extra meal time.

Ease up to the 1400, you don't need to do it all at once. But you're aiming for maintenance now, right? Yay!! Honestly, I would not want to be trying to lose weight and do ED recovery at the same time.

I will start a new thread with the recipe so as not to clutter up this one (it's stuffed buttercup squash btw).

alskarani wrote: »

I went to my appointments today...but it was so rough, I have a pretty strong instinct to flee!

But you went, and that is great!! Hang in there, it will get easier

How was it rough? Anything we can help you with?

alskarani wrote: »

Thanks.

It's intimating to be in a group setting and have to talk about such deeply personal things. I have a lot of trouble trusting others, have had a lot of relational trauma in the past few years, and it hard enough to open up to one other person, let along be vulnerable in front of 10!

But that's what the majority of time there will be! I don't see how it will help me if I can't participate! I don't know what to do!

Ah, gotcha. It's okay to just listen to start with . As you feel more comfortable you will open up and start joining in the discussions more I'm sure. I did an every day group therapy thing when I was 18 (pre-ED, I was just a bit of a basketcase), and I needed to ease into it. Remember, they understand that. They are totally used to it. Maybe you can let one of the staff know that you're not quite ready to open up in front of the group so that they are aware and you don't feel pressured.

minipony wrote: »

Nony_Mouse wrote: »

Well, I would have had nutritious stuff and ice cream . I've got my cals at 1200 at the moment, but increase on days when I'm doing fieldwork. When I'm at home working (or more likely mucking around on the internet) I'm sedentary as, unless I'm doing exercise, so that's totally adequate for me. Fieldwork days, even if I'm just standing watching diggers, I am way hungrier. I'm also up earlier, so it's kind of like I have an extra meal time.

Ease up to the 1400, you don't need to do it all at once. But you're aiming for maintenance now, right? Yay!! Honestly, I would not want to be trying to lose weight and do ED recovery at the same time.

I will start a new thread with the recipe so as not to clutter up this one (it's stuffed buttercup squash btw).

Well I feel like I should be in maintenance but my mom, exercise instructor and nutritionist think I'm too thin. I on the otherhand feel kind of large at the moment. This is not surprising since I have an ED. I was at 1200 to but she upped me to 1300 and then 1400. I'm trying the 1400 and we will see how my body reacts. Do you own a farm? I ride horse and jump them in competitions, but I'm a school teacher as my main job.

Okay, chances are they are right. But you are building up your calories slowly, so you're not going to pack on weight overnight, trust me (makes mental note to start new thread about 'starvation mode' myth). Just like with weight loss, slow and steady wins the race.

I'm an archaeologist. So sometimes I'm doing fieldwork, which at the moment is on a new expressway road being built in my region. Those days involve getting up around 5.30am, in the car by 6.30, driving for an hour and then standing around watching diggers all day, with occasional bursts of archaeology if they uncover a site. If I do a full day it's 12 hours from the time I leave home until I get back, so planning food is pretty important!

minipony wrote: »

By the way, had a really great day and night. Today I'm heading for another great day and night. That will be two days in a row! Woohoo.

Yus!!! Go you

I am hitting my calorie target for the day, but not eating back exercise cals cos I'm 'banking' some for when my dad is here to visit this coming weekend. I know he wants to take me and my niece out for dinner, and I can't say no to my almost 83 year old pa who I don't see nearly enough.

I'll have a look and see what I can find for you . What age are they?

I was in such a tizz on Sunday about my weight not moving (despite knowing it was hormones and fluid) that I was all prepared to just say to him I didn't want to go out for dinner. Then I realised how crappy a thing to do that was and that there was no reason I couldn't just save up some cals during the week.

Excellent work Alskarani!

Nony, I hope you have such a good time with your dad! My dad is 80, so in my head I'm picturing someone like him visiting you. I hope you can enjoy all parts of the visit.

I'm feeling sick...my goals maybe just went out the window....I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. I am trying to make myself eat, though it's hard because I feel so bad.

Minipony, I love Portland! I do believe i met the man of my dreams there during a horrific wind storm, but alas...we didn't exchange numbers, so it's up to fate if we meet again...

Awesome

After a trip to the Dutch Shop, a packet of cherry liqueur chocolates has also been added to the stash of things from Dad. PMS week is not an ideal time to have those in the house!!

On the plus side, I am now restocked with amazing cheeses .

Haha I can get really excited about cheese too!! I am quite certain that I am genetically adapted to eat lots of it . I got Maasdam, Montana, Bleu and basil and garlic. I thought I was quite restrained only getting four kinds.

The IOP person is quite right. As much as we'd like to snap our fingers and say 'done with that now', it's a process and it takes time. And sometimes you will have setbacks. Remember that you are doing something to get out of it.