Life in the Fast Lane

Join

whinge

Options
karen_fitzgibbon
karen_fitzgibbon Posts: 736 Member
in Social Groups
I ran into my c word sister in law today at the school after dropping my daughter off. One of the mum's was talking to me about the fact that she can notice my weight loss (yayyyyyy) then Helen (evil sister in law) butts in to tell me that I need to stop competing with her. She then proceeded to tell this other lady that I've tried for years to lose weight and that I'll fail again. No need to congratulate me. Just wait for it. I'll get fat again. Geez thanks. This other mum laughed and walked away.
«1

Replies

  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
    Options
    Good for her! That in a sense was her support for you. Sorry your sister in law isn't supportive. Next time....I'd tell her to mind her own business.
  • BadgerLamb236
    BadgerLamb236 Posts: 823 Member
    Options
    Tell her to Foxtrot Oscar - you're doing great! The other mum's reaction was spot on, not even dignifying her cr*p with a reply.
  • lulu1066
    lulu1066 Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    What a vile woman. Poor you x
  • Foamroller
    Foamroller Posts: 1,041 Member
    Options
    That sounds hurtful. You can't change her. Her reaction is possibly not about you, but her own insecurities. Some people, their only emotional defense when they feel *kitten* about themselves is to degrade others. So you can choose whether to spend energy on her being immature or focus on yourself.
  • snaps27
    snaps27 Posts: 960 Member
    Options
    Foamroller wrote: »
    That sounds hurtful. You can't change her. Her reaction is possibly not about you, but her own insecurities. Some people, their only emotional defense when they feel *kitten* about themselves is to degrade others. So you can choose whether to spend energy on her being immature or focus on yourself.

    Foamroller is exactly right! Spot on. It's like when strangers start yelling at you for no reason (happened me today at the petrol/gas station). There was no need for her to get so upset, I just had to ignore it or I would have gotten all worked up.

    There are other things in their lives which make them so toxic. Don't let them rub off on you. Keep up your spirit, cause your doing great!! Your going to be the one laughing in the end. :p
  • turnercherrie
    turnercherrie Posts: 24
    Options
    Just smile when you have proved her wrong
  • karen_fitzgibbon
    karen_fitzgibbon Posts: 736 Member
    Options
    Thanks guys. Sorry I had a whinge in here.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
    Options
    My S-I-L is a cow too so I can relate!

    She lost a load of weight with "horrible life" shakes (looked like a saggy sack of poo but I refrained from pointing that out...) then piled most of it back on when she started eating actual food again.

    And the one person guaranteed to say I've lost too much weight is my S-I-L.
    Green eyes perhaps? :)
  • Foamroller
    Foamroller Posts: 1,041 Member
    Options
    No need to be sorry :) We all have those moments with someone acting out.
  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
    Options
    We are the right people to go to. Happy or sad new, a bit of whinging. ....we're here to listen.
  • cobygrey
    cobygrey Posts: 270 Member
    Options
    Yep. What they said
  • jknight001
    jknight001 Posts: 745 Member
    Options
    I think @Foamroller‌ expressed very well what I would say. Helen's reaction to you is rooted in the negative feelings she has inside toward herself. She seems to be threatened by you. I would add to what @Foamroller‌ said is that the only person you can change is yourself. Since you know her to not be kind, I would encourage you have strategies in place to protect yourself so that her negativity doesn't take you down. Helen will say mean things and you don't have to stand there and take it. You are a treasured human being, deserving to be treated with dignity and respect. Just my two cents.
  • Marmitegeoff
    Marmitegeoff Posts: 373 Member
    Options
    Hi Karen Winging is allowed here as that is what we are here for. I can relate as my S I L is due back from a long holiday in a few weeks, and is bound to comment on our weight loss. (both self and wife on 5:2). Last time we saw her she was expounding that "starvation mode" kicked in if a person missed a meal. No wonder she is so large.
    Do your own thing and succeed that will prove who is right.
  • WestieBestie84
    WestieBestie84 Posts: 42 Member
    Options
    She is sooo jealous of you right now. Lap it up, know it's bugging her and feel proud xx
  • iwannabeonthebeach
    iwannabeonthebeach Posts: 146 Member
    Options
    What a cow. By all means vent, all your friends are here for you. I have 2 evil SILs on opposite sides of the family, one is a self-absorbed narcissist and the other is an anally-retentive control freak, so you are not alone. Thanks god they're almost never in the same room together or the universe might implode. Takes all sorts to make a world, I endure any time I have to spend with them then go back to my own happy world. Stay strong karen, you can do this!
  • catchyb
    catchyb Posts: 31 Member
    Options
    We should introduce your sil to my mil and they can hate the world and know better than everyone else together! Must be hard seeing her at school every day though. What a nasty position to put the other mom in! Nice that she noticed it's working though! Keep it up and keep proving her wrong!
  • lulu1066
    lulu1066 Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    my sil is a lovely lady but mil, not so much. when I dropped my weight it really pissed her off and one of my main reasons for staying slim is to annoy her as she keeps saying it won't last. When she comes to stay and is nasty to me, I nip into my room for five minutes, try a nice dress on, have a look in the mirror, then get back into my clothes and join them. husband and kids have no idea why I reappear all calm and happy. love that we can share barmy coping strategies!
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    Options
    Wow Karen!!! That's just awful. I could never say something like that to someone! I agree with everyone else. She's just jealous of you. Kill her with kindness. Don't ever be rude to her because she will turn it around on you. She knows deep down she's being a "c" word. Don't let her get to you.
  • cobygrey
    cobygrey Posts: 270 Member
    edited March 2015
    Options
    It's hard to imagine a family member being so mean to another family member for doing something good.
  • snaps27
    snaps27 Posts: 960 Member
    Options

    bburg86 wrote: »
    She's just jealous of you. Kill her with kindness. Don't ever be rude to her because she will turn it around on you.

    This is right. The only reason she does it is to get a rise out of you. By keeping calm...it will kill her because you're being the better person.

Categories