My story!

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woznube7
woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
OK - here goes nothing! I am hoping that some how someone can relate! :)

I have been an emotional eater for as long as I can remember. (My mom also copes with it) And I also suffer from anxiety. In 2007, I went from 180's to 138. After high school, I stopped paying attention to what I was eating and gained it all back, plus some. Life happened a little bit too, with some stress, trauma, and a "relationship". So here I am again, starting over.

So far I've lost 27lbs, but I have stopped twice since January and "given up". The last two weeks I had went out to eat every day... sometimes twice a day. I was super emotional and just would eat because I was sad/angry/upset/etc. And then I would feel guilty for giving in and it was just a vicious cycle. This week I have gone out to eat twice. HUGE dose of willpower, as I just told this guy that I (like/love) that we needed to stop talking for a couple weeks so I could get control of my life again. I just wanted to eat bad food... all the time. It's a daily struggle to not crave it or fight the cravings. But I know I can do it!

Seeing a counselor has helped with getting in touch with my emotions and controlling them, but I still have a long way to go. This roller coaster ride is not very fun! I don't even like roller coasters!! All I am really looking for is to "be happy" and just like myself. But I don't... so there for, I eat.

Replies

  • aishlynn
    aishlynn Posts: 181 Member
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    I suffer from depression and when I get into one of my down periods I, too, eat all the foodz (why oh why can't I be like the people who lose their appetite?!).

    I can relate with you wanting to eat bad food all the time! And, yes, it is a daily struggle. I've been out to eat every day this week, but fortunately, I've made good choices. However, I did buy ice cream bars that I thought I could just eat one a day and be fine. Nope. I ended up eating half the box, and then the last three bars yesterday. *shame* At least there's no more ice cream for me to nosh on now :D

    I'm trying to learn to drink water water water when I'm really craving something, but sometimes the cravings (especially around that TOM) are like a very loud car alarm in my head :( But, I will persist in my weight loss journey, as will you!

    I know you can do it, too! You've already proved that by losing that first 27 lbs!
  • juanita1963
    juanita1963 Posts: 25 Member
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    You've made a big step in the right direction and have made good progress. We all have bad days, you just have to try to remember it's not the end of the world and get right back at the good decisions, that day if possible.
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
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    Thank you both!!

    I finally bought some groceries for this week && making my goal to lose 3lbs. I am drinking all of my water and not going out to eat at all. (Sometimes I go when I get paid, because I like to treat myself for the hard work) My depression and anixety were through the roof the last couple weeks, but it is much better this time around (just like it was a bit easier last week).

    I did end up gaining three pounds, due to just losing all control and motivation and I feel gross (which makes me want to eat my feelings... such a vicious cycle!)

    I am hoping that now since the weather is nice, again, i'll do some more walking and just being outside more.

    Hope you both have a great week!
  • pdenoyes
    pdenoyes Posts: 9 Member
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    woznube7 wrote: »
    OK - here goes nothing! I am hoping that some how someone can relate! :)

    I have been an emotional eater for as long as I can remember. (My mom also copes with it) And I also suffer from anxiety. In 2007, I went from 180's to 138. After high school, I stopped paying attention to what I was eating and gained it all back, plus some. Life happened a little bit too, with some stress, trauma, and a "relationship". So here I am again, starting over.

    So far I've lost 27lbs, but I have stopped twice since January and "given up". The last two weeks I had went out to eat every day... sometimes twice a day. I was super emotional and just would eat because I was sad/angry/upset/etc. And then I would feel guilty for giving in and it was just a vicious cycle. This week I have gone out to eat twice. HUGE dose of willpower, as I just told this guy that I (like/love) that we needed to stop talking for a couple weeks so I could get control of my life again. I just wanted to eat bad food... all the time. It's a daily struggle to not crave it or fight the cravings. But I know I can do it!

    Seeing a counselor has helped with getting in touch with my emotions and controlling them, but I still have a long way to go. This roller coaster ride is not very fun! I don't even like roller coasters!! All I am really looking for is to "be happy" and just like myself. But I don't... so there for, I eat.

  • pdenoyes
    pdenoyes Posts: 9 Member
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    I too am seeing a counselor for emotional eating habits. It has been a roller coaster ride. I have neglected myself and now I feel the impact of it. I made a conscious decisionto seek for help.
  • kmcc144
    kmcc144 Posts: 84 Member
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    For what it's worth- I have terrible anxiety and I feel like I HAVE to be eating something or crunching on something. It just calms my nerves. Lately I just grab a piece of gum and go for a walk. It's helped wonders! I'm a little tired of gum... LOL But this has been one of my better eating weeks. Another big help to me was resolving to log everything. I used to skip logging and label it a "cheat day," but they kept adding up. So I eat somewhat whatever I want- I just make it fit into my diary. I'm the type of person that if I crave something, I have to have it. Otherwise I will eat twice as much trying to satisfy a craving that I'm trying to ignore. If I want something sweet I eat dark chocolate almonds or a fiber one brownie. If I want chips I have baked cheetos. Little things add up into bigger changes. To get a handle on your habits, I really believe you have to have a realistic picture of how much you're putting into your body. So whether you are under your calorie goal or 500 over, make sure you log it. And if you don't have a food scale- definitely get one. It changed my life for sure! Also, do you take measurements? I seem to go from plateau to plateau, but I lose quite a few inches even when the scale doesn't move. If I only watched the scale, I would be completely discouraged!
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
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    It got the best of me, again... this week, more often than not! I, like you KMS144 crave it and get out of control if I completely go cold turkey. Unfortunately, I use it also as a coping mechanism for whatever reason!! So this week has not been very good. But gaining only 3lbs instead of 10lbs like I thought, is helpful!

    I do not do measurements, but I probably should. The scale is my 2nd worst enemy to myself.. so I have tried to stay off of it. (Usually only weigh myself once a month).

    Thank you for the little tips. I wrote down a grocery list and looked up some simple meals on pinterest to make this next week. I should just stick to the normal things I eat, but I get tired of them, easy for some reason as of late.

    It's reassuring to know that I am not alone (because I think I am most of the time, which doesn't help the cycle!)
  • ahealthiercara
    ahealthiercara Posts: 139 Member
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    I feel you! I can go through really good stretches of feeling like its all under control but once I slip it is so hard to break those patterns again. I've been struggling lately and eating everything in sight - doing my best to at least exercise away some of those binges. I've been seeing a pattern in myself that in the midst of struggle I maintain or gain just a little bit and then get back on track and lose 3lbs - its averaging to a 1lb/wk weight loss so overall I'm still losing but I feel so out of control and sad that I can't get a handle on emotional eating. I know that doing EFT has helped me in the past and I don't know why I'm not using that tool to deal with my feelings lately - I know I *should* but eating is SO satisfying (in the moment). Hang in there and just keep doing your best!
  • idalooses
    idalooses Posts: 30 Member
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    but eating is SO satisfying (in the moment). you are so right about that "in the moment." i cannot for the life of me figure out why succumbing to my cravings and sugar addiction is so satisfying?? has only been a couple of years ago that i realized how much i used food for comfort, and i still can't get those feelings under control!! WHY?? logically it does not make any sense at all to binge eat, and eat unhealthy foods knowing that it is not good for my body physically, emotionally, spiritually, nor mentally!! so why do i do it other than it feels good for the moment! any thoughts on that from anyone else??
  • malika1976
    malika1976 Posts: 180 Member
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    Hi it's perfectly normal to eat for comfort. We've done it since we were babies - feeding babies is one of the first things we try when a baby's scratchy. And then our parents and other adults reward us with food. It is objectively a hard cycle to break. Also eating sugar (particularly) releases feel good chemicals in the brain that do actually make us feel better in the short term - a throw back to times when eating sweet foods was essential for survival. I think it's especially hard to change if I'm getting angry at myself for any reason. If I'm getting angry at myself for how I'm eating it turns into a vicious cycle - it's had to nurture someone you're angry at!

    What's working for me at the moment is trying to make sure I'm getting all the nutrients I need (not just trying to be below my calorie limit). It's much easier to concentrate on having what I need to be healthy than concentrating on what I can't have. And anything that breaks the self-anger cycle helps.
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
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    Ok. So an update:
    I let this get the best of me, and have gained back 7 of the 25lbs that I have lost. Completely unacceptable. Due to stress from all different aspects. Also, from feeling as if I am not good enough/just letting myself down. This has gotten completely under control. Depression at its finest!

    Going grocery shopping this weekend, for easy meals. Something has to change. I know what do, I just need to do it. I can't get better, by making myself worse!
  • GabinkaP
    GabinkaP Posts: 188 Member
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    woznube7, are you on any meds for depression. They can help take the edge off. I was to the point I couldn't function. I can function now. They helped that way. I was extremely dismal before the meds, especially with the PTSD I was facing. The meds helped. Now I can work on losing weight. I can't remember if I ate more when I was really depressed or less, though.
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
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    I am looking into a primary doctor, so then I can get on some meds. I tried counseling, but i'm past that right now.. it's helping a bit, but not as much as it should. Thank you, GabinkaP!