Thank you all so much.

Yes it's hard to deal with people who have a problem with your weight. My mum's issues came only from wanting the best for me but at a time when I felt depressed with my weight, having someone comment constantly on it was very difficult.

When I was 11 she put me on a diet and weighed me weekly - she would only give me my pocket money when I lost weight!

When I was 18 I didn't get into my first choice university (Oxford), and her response was 'maybe they chose someone thinner'. I was not very overweight at the time but self conscious about it - so it hurt a LOT.

In university I developed a full blown eating disorder - I did an extreme Slim Fast diet for 6 months during which I didn't even eat one meal a day - just 2 milkshakes. I was beyond miserable, made no friends and found myself sleep binging on Slim Fast bars. My mum was very complimentary about my new shape but I was so miserable inside.

This developed into several years of binging and purging on all the foods I 'wasn't allowed' and getting into destructive relationships. The combo of feeling a failure for not getting into the university I wanted and my weight put me into a serious depression.

Eventually at around 25 my parents staged an intervention. I was withdrawn and pale and always sad - and they accused me of having a drug habit. I came clean about the eating disorder and they dealt okay with it - not great but it was an improvement. A couple of years after that (and some therapy that I funded myself) I was able to make it clear that this should never be discussed again, at least without me bringing it up first.

I feel so sad that so much of my youth was blighted by 10-20kg of excess weight. I still have body image issues although they are a lot better than they used to be, and I'm marrying a man I know will love me, whatever happens. I can't get those years back but I can and will make the future the way I want it to be.