My 600-lb Life
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I had RNY on 1-20-15. The next day my mother showed up with a bag of doughnut holes and said they were for me!!! When I told her I couldn't eat them she sat and ate them right there. She is a failed RNY from the 80s. She knew better!0
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Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?0
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Renaejae - Maybe you could make and freeze a casserole and some chili to start them off with. You will be tired. I gave my hubs a list of meal ideas he could do easily until I was feeling like cooking -Burgers and hot dogs on the grill, simple sides, omelets, BLT, soup and sandwiches. Easy cleanup too. And there's always takeout. We have a local grocery that does beautiful subs and complete takeout meals.0
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Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?
I do most of the cooking in the house, but not all of it. However, after the I got the sleeve (and I recovered enough) I still did the cooking. Even though I couldn't eat the same things as everyone else for a while, I still cooked full meals. I just made what I could eat on the side.
Eventually I got to the point to where I can eat most of what they can eat. I'm still not up to grains yet, so no rice or flour-based products. (Which means no pasta or garlic bread.
) But I can deal with that. In fact, I look at my little saucer and go..."Well if this is all it take to fill me up, how in the heck am I going to add pasta/rice/bread/whatever else to this plate anyway?"
So, I still cook the meals. I eat the main dish & the veggies, and beans (if there are any). I just don't eat what I can't eat. And I still make the same meals that I've been making....just healthier versions.
And everyone is happy. 
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After my husband had his sleeve but before I had mine, his cooking went crazy. And then he'd sit there and watch me eat and asked me all about how it tasted - lol. Vicarious eating we called it. Not eatin actually made him compensate by cooking more (and more elaborately).0
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aimeelynn121 wrote: »My grandma bless her, has always believed that food equals love.
Not to make light of anyone's situation, but this is a direct quote from my grandmother to my niece - "Why are you so fat??? No man will ever want you. Here, have a cookie." I swear that happened. We all laugh about it in my family because it was classic Grandma, but it also shows how enabling runs deep and people just do it without even thinking about it or realizing they are doing it0 -
Aztec4Life wrote: »tat2cookie wrote: »I said "like how you will jump in the car and go get me ice cream and fries at 10pm? Or get pizza with extra cheese sticks because you know I like them? Or when you add extra butter to my popcorn at the movies? Or watch me drink 3 bottles of wine in 1 sitting then polish off a bag of chips that YOU bought me?!?!" It was a real eye opener for him. I don't think that enablers realize that they are enablers most of the time.
tat2cookie, thank you for sharing that. Surprising he didn't even know he was enabling. You're right, I think he just loves you and wanted to please you. I guess I'm "lucky" in a way because I live alone. Sometimes it's tough doing this by myself but on the other hand I don't have to deal with the complex issues that come with the relationships of people that live in the same house.
Aztec4Life, you are "lucky" in a way. My significant other & I had food as a big part of our lives. I think that is probably typical for a lot of couples when one or both are overweight. Once I had surgery and learned to eat differently, he had some difficulty trying to learn that it was not helpful of him to bring home sweets. He also had to learn that I could only eat small amounts, so bringing me home a 1/2 lb burger and fries was going to result in a large part of it getting thrown out. He is finally (6 mos later) getting it. Additionally, we have the whole deal of buying groceries for what I need to eat and for what he needs to eat, which can end up with us eating completely different meals. I would never give up my significant other, but this is one area where it would be a lot easier for me if I only had to think about my own food issues. That being said-- I would be happy if you found someone who made you happy 0 -
[quote=Not to make light of anyone's situation, but this is a direct quote from my grandmother to my niece - "Why are you so fat??? No man will ever want you. Here, have a cookie." I swear that happened. We all laugh about it in my family because it was classic Grandma, but it also shows how enabling runs deep and people just do it without even thinking about it or realizing they are doing it
That is all too familiar to me. My grandma often commented on my weight and that I should really watch what I eat. Then she would fill the house with bad temptations. Being on my own I am able to leave the temptations at the grocery store where they belong lol
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Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?
Renae- the first month my family (husband and 2 small kids) lived on crockpot meals and leftovers. Meal planning and prep before my surgery made it much easier for me to deal with feeding them while recovering. I prepped and froze several family favorites in gallon ziplock bags, and pulled them out and dumped them in the crockpot to go all day. Chili, Honey Sesame chicken, BBQ chicken, and pot roasts were what I prepped and it worked very well. Now that I'm 2 months out, I'll eat a bit of what they're having if it fits in my plan, otherwise my kids are used to me having some sauteed shrimp or cottage cheese while they eat what I cooked.
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