Skippy's coming over shortly for our "K and Skippy day." Food plan is to just raid the fridge since we have nothing in there but proteins, veggies, fruit, and dairy (I love having a "safe" kitchen with no temptations). Exercise plan is to try to keep up with him and the neighborhood kids. Clean plan? Not sure yet... if we get to the store, pick up some coconut milk and try the fudgesicle recipe?

Has anyone ever tried freezing chocolate protein shakes?

Hope you all have a FABULOUS day 6. Stay challenged!

K.

Quick note here as Skippy is eating lunch.

I haven't uncovered the goals worksheet yet, but I remember that each goal was tied to my core values, and then I listed thoughts and behaviors that support those goals and thoughts and behaviors that detract from those goals.

For example, if one of Zac's core values is family/marriage/children/a sacred comittment, then his goal of dating 15 times is tied to that value and a long-term goal of getting married and raising a family. The women he chooses to date should have similar values. A thought that would detract is that because he's overweight, women will reject him. A thought that would support is that true love comes in every shape, color, and age. Behavior that detracts? Not asking someone for fear of rejection. Behavior that supports? Going to group/church functions where you will meet single woman.

In other words, examine each goal in the context of your core values (and perhaps the long term goal). Check how your behaviors and beliefs play a role in success or failure. Tonight I think I'll work on mine. Thanks for the inspiration, Zac!

K.

Warning--rant of self pity!
I'm in bed on my smart phone waiting for back pain meds to kick in so I can shower before going to sleep. I'm pretty lake-watery, and I think I have sand in all the crevices, hahaha. Unfortunately as soon as I stopped moving an hour ago, my back froze up again and the bilateral leg pain kicked me in the *kitten*. I have the worst primary care doctor (I actually am shopping for a new one). I take a low dose vicodin for joint pain from Still's and I've been asking for something stronger for my back for weeks, but she's telling me to take Aleve and more prednisone. So instead I've doubled my daily dose of vicodin and will run out tomorrow. I can't fill that script again until July 7, so basically I'm screwed. The state of Maine is hyper cautious and vigilant with its opiates. Every month for 10 YEARS I've been peeing in a cup for my Dr. to prove I'm taking the prescribed amount. It's INSANE. I need to take up drinking or smoking pot, apparently. Anyway, *kitten* *kitten* *kitten*, I will likely wind up at the ER on Saturday, I'm sure, because without ANY vicodin, this nerve pain is so bad that I've actually vomited and passed out from it (not at the same time, thank god!). Today I spent 3 hours in the lake, bobbing around while the kids were racing and diving and all that jazz, so I sort of hoped my back would stretch out and pop those bulging discs back in. Grrrrrr. Aaarrggghhh. I HATE this debilitating pain!!! When I disappeared from the boards last fall, it was for the same kind of thing, so spine surgery is probably coming. Which means getting off all the freaking immunosuppressants AGAIN! I can't even think about it. I'm barely recovered from the sleeve surgery in December, and those tiny incisions took over 3 months to heal! 3 months of no Still's meds and no swimming. Freaking Brutal!

So yeah... great day on the one hand, lousy on the other.

My Dr. says to me, "you must not need something stronger or the neurosurgeon would have prescribed it." My Neuro said to me on Tuesday, "I can't prescribe a stronger pain med because you have a narcotic contract with your primary care doctor, so call her and tell her you need something stronger." Oh for heaven's sake! When I lived in Bulgaria, you could buy codeine and valium over the counter! Crazy world. I mean, I could understand if I had a history of drug abuse or addiction, but up until 10 years ago when I got Still's, I barely ever took an aspirin!

Rant done, thank you for listening.

Hey--good news is I'm not EATING these feelings. Of course, I can't stand and walk to the fridge either, so that kind of limits that, haha.
K.

Thanks, Nancy. I promise not to disappear! I managed a 5 minute shower but cried the whole time. Now I'm back in bed and comfy. As long as I lie flat, I'm okay. It's just sitting, bending, and walking that freaking kills.

I'll call the Neuro in the morning and see what happens. Otherwise, Jim can take me to the hospital on Saturday morning. What a waste of time and resources!

I agree with your assessment of the FDA. Because I have a rare "orphan" disease, my biologicals are never FDA approved for my specific disease... which means they aren't in the insurance formulary, which means I'm constantly fighting for coverage. Every six months I can expect to spend 3 weeks fighting with my insurance company, endless hours wasted on the phone. I'm ready to move to Greece and run a taverna now!

K.

I am pretty dopey today. My PCP had me take 50 mg. of amitriptyline instead of more vicodin. It definitely helps with the nerve pain, but I'm pretty foggy. Supposedly after a few days my body will adjust to it. So I'll just give today a thumb's up!
K.