What's his diet like now? It's hard to wean kids off of sugar and grains, but that's the best approach. It needs to become a habit rather than something that makes him feel deprived.

The good news is that he can burn a bunch of calories by just playing and growing. The hard part is breaking old habits and establishing new ones.

Here are my experiences from both sides, it's wordy and may or may not help, but here it goes...

Starting when I was 12 and about 30lbs. overweight, my mom (because she loves me) put me on a diet. I had several different "diet plans" or when I was really overweight, a meal replacement shake. Over time I developed a love/hate relationship with food. I'd fluctuate between starving myself to lose weight to binging in the closet and gaining it all (and more) back. I'm still working out these issues 30 years later.

Knowing this, when my girls became overweight I had them to pick out a dance class they'd like at our community center for $30 a month. I never mentioned any kind of diet or restricted what they ate in the house, we just stopped buying junk food and eating out as much (so could pay for the classes... wink, wink). Within six months they were both at a healthy weight. One of the perks of being young!

I'm know they still ate chips, pizza and soda at school (I really hate when teachers use it as a reward!) and I know they still eat badly at their grandparents' house, but as long as they eat healthy food at home most of the time, the extra activity was all they really needed. They've done ice skating, ballet, jazz, hip hop, I'm ok with anything that will get them moving. The little one got tired of classes, but now she spends most of her afternoons riding her bike outside. It's been 4 years and they're both still at a healthy weight.

I do limit sugar intake when meal planning and cooking, but because my husband and girls don't need to lose weight, I don't really limit their carbs. Our meals usually consist of a protein, a vegetable, and a starch. Because I'm low carb, I don't eat the starch. (I say I don't really care for breads, potatoes, pasta, or rice anymore... Lies!) Our meals do skew a little fatty. Cream sauces and butter make it taste richer and they get full on less, so no one feels deprived or has a need to go searching for snacks between meals. We always have fresh fruit on hand for "dessert" (now berries with cream so I can have some too) or when a meal is going to be late. The issue resolved itself without any obvious restrictions on what they ate.

And touching on the issue bernadettemariev was talking about, my mom was opposite. I wanted so badly to lose weight and get fit. Age 15 or so I started going to the gym and walking. I'd come home and she ordered pizza. I wasn't allowed to make a separate meal because i was to est what everyone else ate. We would go get slushees from 7-11 at least 5 days a week.

It's tough. It's hard to know how much leway with choices you should give your child. You don't want to restrict them so much that they binge but you don't want to give them so much freedom that they don't care.

I'm rambling but OP I understand and wish I could help more but I'm kind of riding the same wave.

Is he interested in biology? I started counting calories at that age, but I'm a girl. If he's interested in science you might be able to frame it arOund that, how different foods effect the body and such. My mom also involved me in the cooking process which got me interested and made me more aware. You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.

Get him exercising!! Less time in front of the TV or computer. He is still growing; there are lots of young teens who are pudgy and are still developing. He could hit a growth spurt at 16, like many guys do and his weight will redistribute. Cook healthy foods and have dinner as a family. You're in charge and he should have to eat what you serve him.
I don't know every detail of your situation and if you do or don't do these things, but these are great places to start. Also, just encourage health; don't give him a tough time about his weight. That never goes anywhere good.

AngInCanada wrote: »

sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »

You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.

Ack! Maybe it's me but I really don't suggest this!

Yeah. Please don't do this.

Hi, I have a 13 year old son. He is tall, thin, muscular, just like his Dad. So genetics, not what I feed him is probably more in play. He is vain (like most teenage boys) and does want to look Hot. Maybe not for the girls, but he's all about looking cool and being cool. Right clothes, right hair, right shoes. He flexes to show off his muscles, which is kind of funny, because in the big picture he's still pubescent and pretty scrawny. But I act impressed.

He eats everything, constantly! Good stuff and bad. I don't think lo-carb with him, but he does gravitate towards proteins naturally. He devours, steaks, hamburgs, haddock, eggs, whole milks, bacon AND also, cereal, chicken nuggets, buffalo chicken wings, milkshakes, hotdogs, mac and cheese, corn, salads, the only tough one is still green vegs. What keeps him lean is that he is constantly on the go! In his case you can exercise off a bad diet. I SHUT OFF the electronics, which I think is a huge factor and I keep him interested in sports, athletics, track and field. He finishes homework, then has 1 hour a day, which is still too much in my opinion to facetime, play egames, whatever they do now on the ipad. Otherwise, he is riding his bike, running, walking to the youth center, playing basketball with his friends, skateboarding, swimming, kicking a scooter, golfing, running with the dog, throwing a ball. He jumps to touch the tops of doorways. I also do a lot things with him - which keeps me active and helps my situation. My thought is to kick him outside and don't let him come in until dinner. *IF* we do fast-food, which is not often, he'll order a bacon,egg and cheese wrap and not a donut and he'll order double cheeseburgers, but no fries. There is one dinner and meals are eaten as a family. There are no "munchies" around the house. He can have ice cream for a bedtime snack. But no chips, cookies, or Hostess whatevers. I don't keep those things in the house. I do have berries and fruits. He isn't old enough to make his own money, so if I don't buy it - he can't eat it.

SlimBride2Be wrote: »

Also it's important to be a fantastic role model. Never criticise your weight or that of others in front of him. Talk about health, not weight, when it comes to your food choices. Keep your own weight down (hah, easy to say!) and always make healthy meals, keeping soda and crap out of the house. Don't worry about pointing out his weight to him. If he is pudgy, he already knows about it. Make good food normal, prioritise moving plenty and he will be fine!

Perfect post! Ive heard when people want to stage an intervention for an overweight loved one. DUH, do you think they don't know they are overweight? Lol.

sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »

Maybe I'm one among a weird young adult group But guys that age tend to be aware of the girls/guys going through puberty and want to look good so they feel that they "measure up" to the "most datable" girls/guys in school. At least this is what my guy friends went through at that age and through high school. Just my experience.

I think the objection is that that train of thought is one of the ones that tends to be more influential in breeding eating disorders in boys. It might be a motivating benefit once it happens, but it's a terrible goal for someone whose physiology is going through the awkward growth and hormonal shifts of puberty, things that are completely out of their control.

There's such a lot of great advice coming through on this thread. Activity and patience. Keeping more nutritionally appropriate food in the house. I remember losing 20 lbs in high school when my mother quit cooking out of boxes. Not having those extremely refined carbs around really makes a difference.

And motivation and awareness really makes a big difference. If you think he should lose weight but he doesn't care, that can really be a source of anxiety. If it's a case that HE is concerned about it, rather than just you or the doctors being concerned about it, give this article a read. You might be surprised what his answer may be: The One Question That Can Also Be an Answer

Good luck!

My first thought is I wonder if he is drinking calories. If so, eliminating all beverages that have calories except for any necessary amount of skim or coconut/almond milk will help cut the calories down a lot.
My own kids have always been given no calorie drinks so they are used to it. But I am always surprised when I realize how uncommon that is. Literally everyone that I know, even if they buy themselves diet drinks, will buy the full sugar variety for their kids.
Anyway, just wondering if that's the case. That's pretty easy to fix and you can just explain that drinking such high sugar things is known to cause all kinds of health problems. Then try to keep an eye on portions and make sure snacks are low calorie. If you can even get him to just maintain his weight, the next growth spurt he goes through should help even things out a bit.