Last night was a bad night.

Start of the story, day before yesterday, my MIL (who we are moving in with to only have to care for one house) made puffed wheat squares, one of my favorites. I didn't have the calories left that day, so I didn't have one. Yesterday I watched carefully what I had so if I had a normal dinner I would have enough calories to have one. What does my wife make for dinner.......Pizza and potato salad. I ended up eating half of what everyone else did, and still felt like I was being left out, because that put me over, and if I ate anything else, I was just eating any exercise calories I may get packing boxes. Needless to say I had a slight meltdown over this. I still didn't get a puffed square and ended up over my calories and went to bed hungry. Not a good day. I'm still in a bit of a foul mood because of it. I understand why she did pizza, as we are in the middle of a move so quick and easy meals are required with ingredients that aren't packed, so running to the store to grab through in pizza, is a reasonable thing usually, but if your doing that, don't do potato salad (with full fat Mayo), get a bagged salad that is reasonable. So this was my own internal melt down, but somewhat with good reason.

My MIL was trying to say, well why don't you go to superstore every day and get what you want for dinner. That isn't a helpful idea, not only does that cost more, I all ready work long hours, and barely get to see my babies, and then I have to cook when I get home after everyone else eats, in a kitchen that is still a disaster as it is half merged/moved and barely any counter space.

My wife is doing most of the move and it is a lot on her shoulders, and I feel bad that I had a melt down over this, she is the one that has full right to have a melt down, but she keeps going. I would like to note this is not your typical move. This is a merge move. Step one, clear out basement, step two set up space for Inlaws to move downstairs into a "suite" type space, step three, move them down there. Ideally everything would have moved down, and the upstairs cleared out, but that isn't quite what happened. And so everything seems to take that much longer.

Based on this vent, I'm still a little bitter about last night, my wife knows I'm logging and trying really hard, especially having to resist the bad for you foods here at work, then she goes and does this.

Thanks for listening. Sorry for a long post.

jltheis7 wrote: »

Well one bad day isn't so bad. This is a stressful time for your family which makes it all the harder to not fall into the quick fix stress relievers that surround you which creates, yep more stress. It does sound like maybe you increase your calories right now, create a timeline for all the steps to be completed and choose a date to return to your current calories. And make it an absolute at every meal to have salads, veggies, etc. to fill you up. Spending time caring for yourself sounds really important right now so you can be the less-stressed parent and wife you want to be for your family.

I appreciate that you turned to us to support you through this. I admit freely that I just am not good at reaching out to others when emotions get the best of me and it makes my struggle harder than it needs to be. Keeping that stuff bottled up makes it that much easier to turn to the false emotional fix I get from food rather than deal with the source of the distress directly. Hopefully, you have a better day today than yesterday.

I chatted a bit with my wife, and in the end my wife understands that I am very serious about this this time (and hopefully it sticks). With that being said she will take that into consideration when we are doing the meals getting through this move, and hopefully using our healthy freezer slow cooker meals we had previously make with extra fresh veggies to go with them. Today I am doing better. eating a bit more today and making sure I brought an adequate lunch to make sure I'm not too far under my calorie goals that fuels grumpy.

I would like to say, sure just keep on maintenance or up my calories for now, but in the end I can come up with a million excuses not to start a change in diet, a move is just one of them. After the move, I could say, well, after I finish this job, then I can try then I don't have to resist the temptation of the food provided by work, but then after that would be, well it is Christmas, no one can effectively diet during the holidays, then New Year...resolutions never stick....etc. If I don't keep with it now, I fear I would be 350 pounds by the end of this year, so start now or continue avoiding it.

Thank you. I do think it is stress manifesting that I normally just eat away, but this time I need to work through it instead of feeding it.

It has been along time since I have been in this group. I once again loss track of me. I am starting a new.

This week for me was aweful! I don't know what got into me but I just wanted to eat and eat and eat and none of it good. I did get my water in a little bit at least most of the week. We will see what the scale says tomorrow. I'm kind of dreading it though.