Please lend some advice
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TheWeightOfFood
Posts: 58 Member
I'm almost always the person giving advice and lending a positive attitude (well, at least I like to think so). But today it's me who *kitten* up.
I'm used to concurring my binge eating, or struggling to overcome it anyway - sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Today, I didn't succeed. And it went a step further, something that has only happened a handful of times in my life.
I was having a craving for ice cream, so I was about to drive myself to Shoppers to pick up some Ben and Jerry's when my logical brain kicked in and told me to eat dinner first. After dinner, the idea of that ice cream still sounded good, so I drove the few blocks to Shoppers and picked up some Ben and Jerry's coffee toffee ice cream, and two chocolate bars.
When I got home, I sat down to the ice cream, ate maybe a 1/4 of a cup, and thought to myself, "that was good; I'll put the rest in the freezer for another day." And then I kept eating. And by the time the container was half-empty I couldn't put it in the freezer because then my roommates would think I was fat, and so I kept eating. By the time I was 3/4 finished I was feeling ill, and starting to get shakey... but I was almost finished, so I kept eating. With just a few scoops left my chest started to hurt - subconsciously or otherwise, who knows - and I got up and rinsed the rest down the drain.
I was frustrated, shaking from the sugar rush, and starting to get more chest and head pangs. I made myself throw up a few times - something I haven't done often in my life. Four times, to be exact.
I walked to the kitchen and crumbled up the chocolate bars I purchased, dousing them in gravy from the fridge so that I wouldn't be tempted to dig through the garbage later. The whole time I was thinking to myself, "these smell so good, it wouldn't hurt to just eat one piece." That's not logical! Well, none of it is, really.
So now here I am, frustrated and confused. Why do we do these things? Why is it so hard to stop? What are the triggers, and why don't they seem to exist like therapists say they do? I wasn't stressed today; I was happy. I wasn't sad or angry or worried; I was just my regular old self.
I often compare binging to trying to quit smoking, but worse because you're required to eat food every day to sustain yourself.
Please, if you have time and feel like sharing, tell me a story - here or over PM - of when you screwed up, and then concurred. I could use the motivation.
Thanks everyone,
Riley
I'm used to concurring my binge eating, or struggling to overcome it anyway - sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Today, I didn't succeed. And it went a step further, something that has only happened a handful of times in my life.
I was having a craving for ice cream, so I was about to drive myself to Shoppers to pick up some Ben and Jerry's when my logical brain kicked in and told me to eat dinner first. After dinner, the idea of that ice cream still sounded good, so I drove the few blocks to Shoppers and picked up some Ben and Jerry's coffee toffee ice cream, and two chocolate bars.
When I got home, I sat down to the ice cream, ate maybe a 1/4 of a cup, and thought to myself, "that was good; I'll put the rest in the freezer for another day." And then I kept eating. And by the time the container was half-empty I couldn't put it in the freezer because then my roommates would think I was fat, and so I kept eating. By the time I was 3/4 finished I was feeling ill, and starting to get shakey... but I was almost finished, so I kept eating. With just a few scoops left my chest started to hurt - subconsciously or otherwise, who knows - and I got up and rinsed the rest down the drain.
I was frustrated, shaking from the sugar rush, and starting to get more chest and head pangs. I made myself throw up a few times - something I haven't done often in my life. Four times, to be exact.
I walked to the kitchen and crumbled up the chocolate bars I purchased, dousing them in gravy from the fridge so that I wouldn't be tempted to dig through the garbage later. The whole time I was thinking to myself, "these smell so good, it wouldn't hurt to just eat one piece." That's not logical! Well, none of it is, really.
So now here I am, frustrated and confused. Why do we do these things? Why is it so hard to stop? What are the triggers, and why don't they seem to exist like therapists say they do? I wasn't stressed today; I was happy. I wasn't sad or angry or worried; I was just my regular old self.
I often compare binging to trying to quit smoking, but worse because you're required to eat food every day to sustain yourself.
Please, if you have time and feel like sharing, tell me a story - here or over PM - of when you screwed up, and then concurred. I could use the motivation.
Thanks everyone,
Riley
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I have been where you are - I have binged until I made myself sick in agonizing pain writhing in bed because I was so full. It has happened more than once. I could never make myself vomit although I wanted to. It just did not work for me. Instead, I would stop eating for days afterwards.
Sometimes I thought I had a reason to binge seeking comfort like something stressful happening in life but more often than not there was no reason except I told myself the food was delicious, I should not deprive myself, I want it, I have to learn to control my eating and the only way how was to eat the food I want in moderation. I was fooling myself.
We can't quit eating as you say. Yes, I tried that too. We can learn to control our binges and not beat ourselves up when it happens.
I would have eaten the chocolates with the gravy because I knew there were there. The only way out of it for me would be to take it out of the house but that might involve buying something else.
My most recent story was buying a bag of ****** candy. They were already portion sized and I should have only bought one bar but the bag was on sale. I had one and it tasted so delicious. Then, I reminded myself that I cannot eat dairy, chocolate, sugar, etc because of food sensitivites so I decided to eat the whole bag in preparation for eating right in the future. It does not make sense at all. I ate myself sick.
I conquer my cravings now because I do not want to die and I know if I overeat or eat foods my body cannot tolerate there is a strong likelihood that I could die. I get cravings still but I can usually divert myself altogether or give in to just a bite. This sounds somewhat dire but it is what works for me.
Another thing that helped was not trying to figure out why I binged or had such cravings. Psychological, emotional, physiological or something else or all of the above. The reason didn't matter to me as much as the actions I took.
I did not seek therapy for this. I did for another matter but they dwelled on issues from my past and wanted to medicate me and wanted to fit me into a category. It was for a different obsessive-compulsive activity I was engaged in. The therapy made me realize that I did not want therapy and that I had to do something, anything to just stop the behavior and so I did. It was not even hard at all to stop. I still had thoughts about it but I never succumbed to the urges that arose now and again. This was about 4 years ago and now I do not even have the urge.
Binge eating is so hard to overcome. We are filled with shame when we do it and sneak food even from ourselves. But it can be controlled and overcome.
The first step is admitting to ourselves that we are engaging in behavior that we do not like and is potentially harmful.0 -
sometimes I binge because I'm sad, frustrated, angry or worried but sometimes I'm perfectly fine and I binge , it seems that all the sweet palapable food makes me want to binge. After reading 'brain over binge' I understood a lot of thing, for me it's because I have days with restrictive eating habits or days I eat a lot of sugar meals.. but it's also a bad habit that my brain have and I follow the wrong part of my brain who 'tells' me that I have to binge
before I was completely numb when I binge, now all the last binges I was almost conscious of what I am doing was a choice that I could control my hands, my body and my mind...it did not prevent me from bingeing but I think that can be the beginning of quiting the binge eating.
wanted to understand why you binge can be non-productive, you might think it's an endless fight that you'll never win, but I'm sure we can have the power to change because as Kathryn Hansen says 'the binge is not the real you' you are stronger than the binge and you can control it.0 -
Thanks guys - yeah I've read Brain Over Binge. So logical. So not easy still! Hah
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I binge eat and tell myself I'll start eating right tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. I do well for a few days or a few weeks and then I get off track again. Wish I cld find a way to stop but its so hard. I try to eat better by buying pretzels instead of potato chips and animal crackers instead of cookies to satisfy my salty and sweet craving, but then I eat way to much of these. Buying bags already portioned out doesn't help because I just eat multiple bags. And if I don't have something salty or sweet in the house I'll just keep craving it until I go out and buy it. Don't know what the answer is.0
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@angsfitness - are you getting enough salt in your diet? Other minerals like potassium and magnesium? Your body may actually be craving it because you may be dehydrated. No answer for the sweets. I rarely eat any now and very rarely crave them.0
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I keep stuff like that out of the house. However, I'm guilty of baking muffins (like I did the other day) and brownies and scarfing down the whole lot of them! They both are definitely trigger foods for me (so is spagetti & other pasta which I don't eat anymore --i can't!). I feel so embarrassed, especially if hubby or son makes a comment like "What happened to the brownies?" I know that the best thing to do is to not buy baking supplies, brownie mixes, etc. Though it's more expensive, buy ONE brownie (Panera ' s are awesome) or go and get ONE ice cream cone. Yeah, logically you're thinking, "Wow, the price of one ice cream cone--for a little more, I could buy a whole gallon of ice cream". Learn to let that go!
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