Don't feel silly - it's a big deal. And something that you want to think long and hard about because it has to be achievable. Otherwise, you're going to be going around in circles forever and never feel a sense of accomplishment.

My surgeon suggested that I should think about how much I weighed around when I started menstruating (about 12 years old) and perhaps shoot for that. For me, that's 200 lbs. For my BMI (which is antiquated, by the way), that still puts me firmly into the overweight category. I "should" be 140 lbs to 160 lbs. Which seems like a pipe dream to me.

Presumably your body image has changed a bit since you were 13...and maybe you've gotten taller? As a fully grown woman, a size 12 or 14 is completely normal.

I picked a spot that seemed completely unattainable as well. I set my goal weight at 20 pounds less than I ever weighed as an adult and 50 pounds lighter than what I graduated High School. The goal I picked was in the middle of "Overweight", but as I looked at some others my height, it seemed good.

With 180 pounds to lose, I attacked the pre-surgery phase as hard as I could, and when I approached my goal, I liked where I was. I hit my goal in April and have been within 5 pounds of it since. I like how I look and do not think the 30 pounds lower to get to "healthy" makes sense for me to shoot for at this point. The best part, though, is that I may well feel like shedding more weight in the future, and the tools I have picked up through the process and on MFP will allow me to get there if that is what I decide to do!

BMI is certainly not the be all and end all stat, but it provides a useful way of discussing weight across multiple people and groups. When looking to drop a lot of weight, using a BMI based target worked fine for me.

Rob

Yes, you can always change/modify your goals. Don't worry too much about it. Just maybe set a goal for now and see how things go. Make a short term goal. For instance, focus on losing a percentage of your current weight. And when you hit that, make a new goal.

I set my goal at 190 originally, mainly because I can not remember ever being less than that. My surgeon told me that he thinks 170-160 is totally attainable, depending on how much weight lifting I get into. So I was pleasantly surprised by that.

I think it's less a number or a size and more what you are comfortable with as you get closer to goal. For instance, in HS I was 160 and that was 20 pounds overweight. At my biggest, just before surgery, I was 386. My surgeon said my "ideal" weight for my height and age is 160. Really? That's losing 226 pounds and still being overweight. He also said he expected me to get to 200, bounce up to 220 and stay there. I didn't like that idea four years ago and I still don't! I have decided that for me, getting to and staying somewhere 200 pounds is good. I'm in the 220's right now and wear a size 18 or XL. I may not get all the way down to 160, but that's OK. Truth is I'm mobile now and wasn't at 386. I am healthier now that I've been since my 20's. So landing somewhere below 200 is an improvement, actually a huge improvement. And in my mind that makes it OK to still be "overweight". You should ask your surgeon/team, but it's still your decision, what you are comfortable with and what you feel you can maintain.

I set myself a range. My doctor says 106. BMI suggests 125. I remember feeling fine at 145. My goal is 106, but if I can get below 140, I'll be ok. My goal for size is to be able to walk into a store and buy pants off the rack.