Support Needed

laurenz2501
laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
edited November 7 in Social Groups
Do not mind grammar/punctuation...writing this as thoughts flow:

Ugh having a hard time today and it's only 7AM. Still haven't quit yet. My family thinks I quit weeks ago and I feel terrible about that. Vowed to stop again yesterday (see last post in previous topic). Experiencing new symptoms ("new" as in the past few weeks) of severe acid reflux or GERD?...then reading things about esophageal cancer....UGH. Been seeing an Ear, Nose and Throat dr for unrelated benign lumps in my neck/lymph nodes like under my jaw. They've looked in my throat twice in the past year and haven't seen anything so I guess it isn't that but still scary since this burning/acid reflux symptom started after the fact. I can't find my book "Easy Way To Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr. I may have lost it at work or maybe someone stole it? Going crazy looking for it this morning as if it were a pack of smokes. I'm at work now and it isn't here. Coffee making the acid reflux worse so I have to quit that too I suppose...I actually had to call out of work because of it last week. I thought it was a really bad sore throat which was going around work, but no. Started Nexium...14 day treatment...almost done and the last 2 days I messed it up by drinking coffee too early after taking it (it says to wait a 1/2 hr before eating or drinking) so now my symptoms are worse. I keep thinking "how am I going to quit smoking, drinking AND coffee all in one shot?" But I know that I am able to. Physically, I can do it. I have come to the conclusion that in order to quit smoking I have to quit drinking also. That's just me personally. Where I live they still allow smoking in the bars. There is no point in trying to quit smoking if I'm going to a bar where someone is puffing away next to me. Sure there are a few non-smoking bars but alcohol=lowered inhibitions=smoke break. Oooh on a good note thankfully the cold weather months are right around the corner! THERE WILL BE NO MORE STANDING OUTSIDE FREEZING TO DEATH TO SMOKE!! :happy:

I keep reminding myself of what Allen Carr wrote in his book (from what I had read so far) and from what I understood the basic gist of it is that we CAN do it. We all have the ability inside us to quit whatever it is we want to quit...we just simply have to do it. Easier said than done, I know, and I know that it helps to have some crutches too (NRT or whatever) instead of going cold turkey but...the mindset of "just do it because you CAN" is helping me. What's funny is my mom told me that years ago and she has always said that: "You just do it."

::sigh::

Replies

  • Your doing great have u thought of swapping coffee for tea I actually swapped tea for coffee and I know a lot of other people the same and a lot of people that drank coffee when they smoked now drink tea and inhale fresh air go figure. U can do it it is totally possible. I remember that mental trap Cigarette cause making u think u will never get out. But u will work at it and u will get there have u joined up with quit net yet? I highly recommend it. Having a blogging community a relatively active one is a very powerful tool. I think I may have told u I pretty much lived on sites like that for the first bit I used ecig lozenges and patches too. That's what worked for me though I'm thinking of u today sending u thoughts of calm and success. Imagine yourself in 6monthsfrom now happy healthy and smokefree xx
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Thank you so much!! I have joined QuitNet before, a long time ago. I will look at it again. Because of my acid reflux issues now I need to limit caffeine overall, so I'm going to try some caffeine free tea but tea was making the acid reflux worse last week. Even decaf coffee has a tiny bit of caffeine in it (so I'm told). A doctor told me yesterday to just cut back on caffeine for now so I don't get caffeine headaches. (I'm a coffee FEIND!) But when I quit before I had to stop drinking coffee also and it helped. I think I'm going to try the patch again but have to wait until I get paid next week. When I quit before (2006) I used the patch and switched to tea. I also wasn't drinking alcohol nearly as much back then. But I have less desire for that now which is good, and more desire to workout. :bigsmile: I know being overweight can contribute to acid reflux...as can smoking and drinking obviously. So this new sudden ailment to add to the growing list doesn't surprise me. So hopefully once I handle these 3 things it will go away on it's own and I won't need meds. I went to a clinic yesterday and the doctor gave me a prescription for a stronger Nexium so I'm feeling better today so the tea should be okay. Now it's time to get back on the workout program. ::sigh:: I do envision myself smoke free and at a healthy weight down the road from now. This will not be easy, but as they say, "nothing worth having comes easy".
    xx :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Marcel182
    Marcel182 Posts: 143 Member
    Like I've said before, I don't believe in the use of substitutes to make quitting easier, and here's why :
    The fact that you rely on that patch/gum/ecig to help you through this 'difficult' transition only reinforces the thought that you're not strong enough on your own to make it. I understand why people use these things, I just don't think they actually need them.

    Once you're in that right mindset where you actively decide to smoke that last cigarette, first of all you need to apply Allen Carr's strategy and, with every puff you inhale, focuse on how disgusting it really is (because... well, it is!). Focus on the gross taste, smell your fingers and realize how much they reek... and once you reach the end of the cigarette, when there's only one puff left, take it (all the while thinking, knowing : 'eugh, gross!') and then exhale it with this thought in mind : "Finally, it's over. I'm free!" Because that's what we are when we smoke : prisoners of this addiction.

    I was a slave to this habit for way too long (admittedly, by my own fault, but that's beside the point). The thought of being FREE is so empowering, it's all you really need. Free from the fear of getting sick, free from wheezy lungs, free from the gross smell clinging to your hair, skin and clothes, free from wasted time that can now be put to much better use. Do I even need to mention 'Free from spending money on something that kills me'? Probably not.

    What happens after that last cigarette is crucial. It all comes down to choices. Let me make a suggestion. When you feel tempted, you can go to the local tobacconist/ask your smoker friend next to you and put take that cigarette between your lips, light it, start the whole cycle again, blah blah blah.... OR, you can take a step back and consider that you can simply NOT do that. Once you realize you have the power to just NOT smoke, it becomes so easy. And that's when you start to look back and see how silly the whole thing has been, that you could have done this YEARS ago if you'd known how simple it is. Basically, it all comes down to this : Just say no. But to a smoker, that seems too easy, there's gotta be a trap, a trick... when there really isn't.

    I guess there's different ways to approach this whole thing. Being a bit of a Harry Potter nerd, what worked for me was to imagine the Addiction as an evil force that I now call You-Know-What (the thing that shall not be named). I, being the awesome hero in this particular story, managed to defeat this evil. But in true Antagonist/Nemesis fashion, the evil never really dies. It lays dormant, bides its time. But every time it tries to rear its ugly head I think of my victory, say NO, and laugh at its feeble attempt to rise up again. And here I sort-of quote Professor Dumbledore : "It's still out there, somewhere. Nevertheless, while you may only have delayed its return to power - if it is delayed again, and again, why, it may never return to power."

    I'm gonna stop here, because I never intended this to become such a long post. Sorry! But I will say this, I know you can do it! And once you do, you will know that exhilarating feeling of having defeated something evil as well. :)
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Thank you SO MUCH for such a long reply! It is very much appreciated! And I LOVE this:
    Being a bit of a Harry Potter nerd, what worked for me was to imagine the Addiction as an evil force that I now call You-Know-What (the thing that shall not be named). I, being the awesome hero in this particular story, managed to defeat this evil. But in true Antagonist/Nemesis fashion, the evil never really dies. It lays dormant, bides its time. But every time it tries to rear its ugly head I think of my victory, say NO, and laugh at its feeble attempt to rise up again. And here I sort-of quote Professor Dumbledore : "It's still out there, somewhere. Nevertheless, while you may only have delayed its return to power - if it is delayed again, and again, why, it may never return to power."

    It's like Allen Carr's reference to The Monster but I especially love the quote at the end. That really drives it home for me. I'm so mad I lost his book but I got the gist of it from the small amount I did read. I think most of it really is mental...for me it has been hard to get past the first few days. I KNOW that once a few days have gone by that the physical withdrawal symptoms will subside...I also have the problem of running out half way through a night out with friends and drinks...then I buy more, then the next day I have half of a pack left and I keep telling myself "well I might as well finish this pack" which is utterly stupid...this is why I need to stay away from the bars for awhile.

    But thank you both so much :) I am promising myself that next week I will be able to say "I haven't smoked for a week" AND I will be able to join in on the "Quit Stats" thread!! :flowerforyou:
  • How's it going, Laurenz1017?
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    1 day down.:ohwell: It may have taken me awhile but I know that I'm not alone in saying that. We all hit speed bumps but...I'm tired of giving in. I'm tired of saying "oh screw it" and buying another pack. I'm tired of the guilt I feel when I've gone a day without smoking then light up again...or thinking about how my family would feel if they knew I was still smoking despite recent health problems. Tired of a lot of things but...this has to be it. I also have some medical procedures coming up (non-related...I hope...). It will be nice to say "No" when the doctors ask if I smoke. Nothing worse than going to the doctor for bronchitis or an upper respiratory infection or swollen lymph nodes and saying "Yes, I smoke". I feel so small and stupid. I hate the look on their face, even if they don't say anything...it's like I'm wasting their time.

    Just going to keep pushing on...thanks everyone. :flowerforyou: Back on QuitNet today!
  • Sending positive vibes! Good for you.
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Sending positive vibes! Good for you.

    Thank you! :happy:
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Trying to keep myself in the mindset of a non-smoker. Especially since work is almost over and lighting up is usually the first thing I do after work...but that would be what I USED to do. I don't NEED to buy a pack. The last pack I had I kept telling myself it would be my last. I want to stop saying that. When it came to my last cigarette I didn't even savor it...I actually realized when I was just about done that it was my last one...and I was okay with it and just took some extra time snuffing it out.
  • CoCoRedRider
    CoCoRedRider Posts: 47 Member
    Trying to keep myself in the mindset of a non-smoker. Especially since work is almost over and lighting up is usually the first thing I do after work...but that would be what I USED to do. I don't NEED to buy a pack. The last pack I had I kept telling myself it would be my last. I want to stop saying that. When it came to my last cigarette I didn't even savor it...I actually realized when I was just about done that it was my last one...and I was okay with it and just took some extra time snuffing it out.

    The cigarette after work was my most disappointing to give up too! However, nine months quit and I had already forgotten about that. It sounds like you are getting your head in a better place, and it only gets easier from here. Good luck!
  • How're things around here? Today marks 4 weeks for my fiance and I!
  • Xineoph
    Xineoph Posts: 38 Member
    The day I stopped smoking was one of the most thrilling days of my life. There had been several earlier attempts always ending in failure. Then I read Allen Carr's book and followed his method to the letter. It's such a great book. I smoked until I had finished reading it. Coincidentally I ran out of cigarettes at the same time, and my flatmate had just gone away for two weeks. Yeehah! The planets were in alignment and when I stopped I knew it was the real deal.

    I followed up with a little ritual of making a package of all my smoking implements, and covered the package with victory slogans that felt like jumping up and down on all of the conditions that had led me into my addiction.

    Lauren you need to understand that giving up smoking is easy. It's keeping going with the habit, when every step only increases the pain and the anxiety, that's hard. So very hard. Year after grinding year, wondering if you are strong enough to go on until the end.

    Believe me, It's the addiction that convinces us that quitting is difficult, and don't believe it for a moment.

    The moment you finally stop compulsively hurting yourself feels . . . f*ing fantastic! Why believe it should be any other way.?
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Believe me, It's the addiction that convinces us that quitting is difficult, and don't believe it for a moment.

    Although I haven't read all of Allen Carr's book (someone either stole it or threw it away when I left it at work :frown:) from what I have read, this is the basic premise of it and I love that idea. It's so true.

    I had 2 good doctor's appointments last week which is a huge relief but the past month was terribly scary. I'm only 30 and way too young for all that nonsense...especially preventable illness(es) that I've brought on myself. I've been keeping in mind that I'm healing myself. It's a mental and physical illness that I just need to get over and in time will pass. Like the flu or something. This includes not only the strong urges to smoke but also the depression, fatigue and lifestyle change (not going out as much=not seeing friends as much). That needs to be worked through also. Unfortunately I've had to resort to nicotine replacement but it's helping a lot. I used the patch when I quit before for a year. The last time I used it it made my arm hurt but not this time which is great. One of my friends quit recently. Hanging out with her tonight (the dreaded bar scene...wait, did I just say dreaded? :drinker: ) so this will be a good test for me. Seeing her not smoke and not wanting to smoke around her will help me. I did the last time I saw her and I felt bad the whole time. No more of that :smile:

    ETA:
    The cigarette after work was my most disappointing to give up too! However, nine months quit and I had already forgotten about that. It sounds like you are getting your head in a better place, and it only gets easier from here. Good luck!

    Thank you :flowerforyou:
  • rickthexpreacher
    rickthexpreacher Posts: 57 Member
    Hi,
    I am an ex smoker and may I suggest you read my blog on giving up. It's a scary story based on what will happen if you don't stop and it's true coz I'm living it. The blog was posted last May.
    Rickthepreacher's Blog
  • Tchpeace
    Tchpeace Posts: 8 Member
    I want to quit! Just don't know how to get started. I've smoked for 43 yrs! UGH! I hate it! I always smoke outside because I don't want to smell up my house. It's a shameful habit and I am riddled with guilt. My problem is this.....I am good at quitting but I am better at starting over and over and over again! Help!
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