So... I've been on LCHF since April and lost 33ish pounds. (for reference, I'm 5'8", started at 224.6 and am currently about 191). I've been overweight since puberty, and like probably everyone on here, I've tried everything over the years. (I won't list them here, because my list and yours will probably be the same crazy stuff). I've also struggled for almost that long with body image issues, which has worsened in the past few years as I got to my highest weight ever. Still, though, I never thought I looked that bad. I knew I was overweight, probably in the obese category, but I still thought I looked pretty good most of the time.

My image issues came in mainly where the number on the scale was concerned. I work in a clinic and weigh my patients once a week, and seeing women who were so much larger than me who weighed the same or even less than me always depressed me. I always wondered, am I in that much denial about how fat I look?

My decision to go low carb wasn't because of some huge epiphany; my best friend suggested it, so I did it to go along with her, and ended up liking it. But still, I've struggled with coming to terms with the numbers on the scale. I lost about 30 lbs. before my size 16 fat clothes got to be too loose to wear anymore. It depressed me that I had to lose that much to go down one single size - again, comparing myself to others who have lost less and look skinnier than me. If it took me that much to get to a 14, how much am I going to have to lose to get to a size 10? It's extremely daunting to think about, and depresses me every time I get on the scale and think about how far I have left to go.

Then yesterday I went shopping to buy some clothes to tide me over until I get to goal. I was absolutely flabbergasted to discover that I fit into a size 12. Now, this was at the Goodwill store, so the pants were second hand, and they were kinda stretchy so I convinced myself that there was no way I was actually a size 12. These pants had to be a 12.5 or 13, no way am I actually a 12. I remember being a size 12 in high school, and I weighed about 173 then, a good 18 lbs less than I weigh now, so there's no way I am actually a size 12.

I lay in bed last night wishing there was some way to test my size then versus now and convince myself once and for all that I'm not really a 12, that I must be mistaken. Some old school uniforms, an old pair of jeans or something, but unfortunately I don't have any of those things left. Then I remembered this costume dress I wore when I was 16 for a church talent show. I climbed out of bed and dug it out of the back of my closet, putting it on over my pajamas (because I wasn't going to indulge the insanity that far by taking my pajamas off first), and - holy cow, the darn thing fit. It's a little tight, but the dress fits. This dress that I wore when I was 16 and weighed 173 fits me now at age 42 and 191 lbs.

I realized then and there that I have to stop comparing myself to everyone else, and I have to stop stressing myself out over the numbers. If I compare the old me to the current me and find that the two do not compare, how much more insane is it to compare myself to another person? So from this day forward, I am not worrying about this journey anymore. I'm not worrying about what number the scale will say when I get to my "goal." All I can do is take it one day at a time and do the best that I can do for myself, for who I am now and for the body that I have now.

Sorry for the long post and thank you for listening.

Here's my pics of me in the dress at 16 versus today, for a laugh.