RodaRose wrote: »

Maybe they do not care one way or another -- as long as it does not inconvenience them.

Bingo.

But I find that family members who aren't supportive are usually a) in need of a diet themselves

Hell, man,you're a beast.You and I have traded emails about the burdens our emergency service experiences have cost us. You said you have a new son. Maybe family time needs to take a higher priority than the drive to get fitter. My genetics are against me too, but from my perspective, you've done a great job on physical conditioning. In the shape you're in, maintenance levels of physical activity will hold your gains, leaving more time for family. Happy wife, happy life. It's a balance.

You look extremely fit and I do understand that you want to maintain that. keep in mind that starined relationships can be as damaging to your body as extra weight and lack of exercise. It did not escape me that you will be 55 on your next birthday and that you loss you dad at 55. Talk with your family about your fears which i suspect are there even if you are not acknowledging them. Perhaps this will help you understnad them better. Good luck.

Also, please keep in mind fit is not necessarily healthy. Balance

My husband is very fit, but still takes for granted that I will do all shopping, cooking, washing up, planning a dessert, providing a breakfast & leftovers he can take to work, etc. Well he is working back east for four months & the weight is FALLING off me because I provide none of those 'extras' he likes so much. I don't plan to reopen the specialty catering ever again! Ptttht!!

Finding a balance between our relationships/family commitments and our personal goals and desires is always difficult, and I think the best way to minimize the conflict is through communication. I find myself keeping my feelings and thoughts bottled up sometimes when I'm hurt or disappointed but the best way I know to get over those feelings is to tell the person you're most concerned about how it feels when they aren't supportive.

I get a few chuckles from various family members and friends when I tell them what my goals are but when they see that I'm serious about it over time they seem to come around. I've told my husband explicitly what I want out of this fitness journey and even though I believe he thinks I might be a little crazy he's supportive for the most part. I do hate it when he tells me "don't hurt yourself"......so annoying........

BRaye325 wrote: »

I get compulsive and I'm sure annoying when I'm focused on a goal. I've been on this fitness road for over a year now and I've had to adapt to make sure to keep my family relationships strong.
I got into bicycling these past few months and I'm 'focused' on getting in my miles every week, which includes a Saturday and Sunday ride. This past weekend my wife and second daughter were throwing a baby shower for our eldest daughter at our home. My wife also gets 'focused' and on these occasions, she wants the house immaculate and everything organized. So I chose to skip my rides this weekend and work on the house, cleaning, organizing, washing floors, washing windows, prepping food, grocery shopping, etc. I know her and this occasion was much more important to her than my couple of rides, and I still got a great workout anyway. I was gassed. So I helped her and then made sure to tell her how great the house looked because of her hard work and she thanked me in return.
Sometimes it's just about compromise!

Very smart! And very thoughtful!

The men do not live long in my husband's family either. My father-in-law's father and uncles had all died of heart attacks between 45 and 55. My father-in-law was absolutely convinced he wasn't going to live longer than that. When he turned 55, he took early retirement. Split his retirement savings up and gave it to the grandkids as "college money". Traveled around the country to spend a week with each of his siblings "for one last visit".

That was 22 years ago. Not only did he not die at 55, he's still alive at 77. And 6 of his 7 siblings are still with us - the one died from an accident, not a heart attack. Granted, most of them have had a bypass or four - a steady diet of biscuits and gravy will do that - but they're still alive and active and in their 70s.

History does not have to repeat itself.

During Dad's "going away tour", only 2 of his 5 kids were willing to try to talk to him about his obvious fear (which he was incapable of admitting himself). Discussing his mortality made the others too uncomfortable and fearful themselves. Although the fear of mortality may be driving you to an extent, could it also be contributing to your family's resistance?