My wife was very mean tonight. We were at a BBQ place and they had an option called "The Whole Hawg" which was brisket, pulled pork, ribs, turkey, chicken, and sausage along with 4 sides (easily enough for 2-4 people). It was a bit expensive ($37) and I wanted to get it for myself. I figured the sides would be eaten by the rest of the table. I could go to town on all that meat. Can you believe my wife had the nerve to tell me, "no," and suggest that I order something more reasonable? What a buzzkill!

I mean, I was able to get ribs and brisket for $10.50 without any sides. But, it was barely enough to fill me. I am sure there's cause to consider divorce for this sort of interference in my pursuit of happiness.