Things are getting worse, not better. I've never told anyone. This last week, I even ate non stop wheat/gluten. I'm lifelong celiac. I'm so physically ill and I still can't stop. I think my mind thought if I just ate stuff that made me suffer, I would quit eating. I didn't... I'm finished with gluten as of last night. I'm so very sick; obviously emotionally too. I just wanted to tell someone.

I feel like now that I've told someone, I can stop. Does that make any sense? It's been like I was hurting myself, on purpose, with food. I ate things I haven't eaten in years. I ate some things I have never eaten before and hopefully won't eat again. I ate things I don't even like just to be eating something... And my body is so very unwell as a consequence.

Ok, this is long and I've never posted before so I'm off to find something happy to write to balance out my confession. I don't wanna be that person. I want to take care of my body. I want to be picky about what I eat and drink. I want to use that money for memorable experiences not cheap bulk food to fill my empty spots. Thank you for letting me share.

Today is going to be different; I promise.