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MyFitnessPal Community

Self Sabotage

kmcc144

I haven't had problems with emotional eating in a very long time.. Lately I am eating because I'm bored. Eating because i'm sad. Eating because I want to. This was spurred by being very stressed last week. I haven't been under that amount of stress in a very, very long time. And now I feel like I'm out of control. I have lost 45lbs and don't want to start gaining, but I feel like I can't stop myself.

I need some help getting back on track

Replies

tlmeyn

I am in the same boat. I was ok.. Have a 48lb loss, but need to keep going... I have about 50 to go... I was doing pretty good until 2 things happened. My loss stalled and stress started piling on. The stalled loss only adds to the stress.., makes me want to say "screw it" and just eat. I have had a couple such days... Or more than a couple the last few weeks. BUT.. I Decided to wake up with the intention of being good every day. I find it's usually if I don't plan ahead, if I don't take my food with (I'm low carb and Oslo is made out of bread), or don't take enough food, That I am going to fail. If I don't pre-log..and just log as I go, I will probably fail. So if I pre-log, I might make some changes if particularly, stressed, but generally, I will eat what I have said I will, and then ask myself later, if I want more, if I am really hungry, and do I deserve it? Have I been good all week? Have I exercised enough?
Do I want to gain the weight back?
That usually helps me to stay on track. I also build wine and snacks into my weekends, so that I know I have to eat a little less (or more soup) in order to have them. Works out good 90% of the time. The loss stall is what really made me throw up my hands a couple of days. So I ate like I used to... But logged every bite.

Wow.....I really saw how much I had been eating and how bad I'd been eating. That was a good wake-up call. I gained a pound. That was a slap in the face. So now, I just keep chugging, even though the scale is not moving... And hopefully it will move again soon. I don't want to go back! I am Still fat, but not as fat!

I don't know if this helps you, but I hope so.

ewoksrule3

I've been struggling with something similar. I had lost almost 30 pounds, but still have a long way to go...and I was jus progressively getting worse to the point where the last week of October I was eating how I used to. I told myself that if I didn't have at least a 500 calorie deficit 4-5 days out of the next week I was going to have to take drastic measures. For me, that would mean only eating at the table and never while reading or watching tv. I love to snack while I watch tv, so I hate the idea of not being able to...but I was finding myself binging while watching tv, so my decision was that if I can't get it back under control the way I want to, I'm going to have to reduce temptation by not eating in front of the tv at all. My trial week was this week and I haven't been perfect, but significantly better. So next week will be another trial week. I've been sick the past couple days, so I haven't quite met my goal for the week, but I haven't done too badly considering my stress levels and being sick.

Maybe you guys could make a plan for something similar? Set a measurable goal to get back on track and if you do, great. If you don't meet your goal, make yourself some new rules that you think will help overcome the obstacles in your way.

kmcc144

Thank you both. I am overeating a LOT lately. I used to have a cheat meal one day, and eat light the next and had a really good system. Lately I am overeating and the next day I can tell my body doesn't want me to eat much, but I do anyway. I feel terrible. I log my first 2 meals and it's great.. Then i'm tired in the evening and binge and literally avoid logging. Honestly, my last 2 years have been very stressful and i've been fighting to be the best I can be in every aspect. All of these events recently came to an end and I think I just lost my motivation and feel like I'm starting over. It's so weird because I am not in a place of stress anymore.. I guess I got used to it being my "fuel." Tomorrow I am going to start my day off with a smoothie. Don't ask me why, but it puts me in a different frame of mind. For the next week I am going to do a smoothie/protein shake for breakfast and lunch, and have a sensible dinner. I have to stop eating so much.. In the past this as worked for me, so hopefully it will reset my mind a little bit.

Sherryfood95

If that doesn't work I find a super light dinner gets me back on track. You wake up feeling better so it's easier to restart. Just make yourself super busy the night of a light meal.

Roaringgael

Never give up. Its the only time we really fail.
Keep a diary see what's bothering you. Don't overeat. Stick to a plan that works. Don't focus on weight loss, look at eating guidelines that make you feel comfortable. Some sort of routine you can follow.

malovafarms

I hear you ladies ! obsessing over weight loss wether I'm overeating or being strict perfection isn't helping.. I can't keep the shame or cycle up.. so I'm trying to bring awareness to how I'm hard on myself and just as the above said

find something comfortable for guidelines.. oh man do i luv to get comfortable in front of the computer and snack though.. its so .. too comforting- i.e. I need other self reward methods ,the snow is starting.. got my cross country skis on the porch waiting. so id like to think about that instead of beating myself up... good luck everybody !

gardnerslater

Get some gum, or 1 piece of peppermint. I know this helped me. I needed to chew or taste more than eat and these are my first go to....of course I had to realize that the mibts could be a problem....unfortunately when u found myself deductin120 calories for 6 desolving mints. Another thing I did was eat 2 walnut halves with water....it worked, along with positive self talk and checking calories before I ate something. I had to ask if I was willing to throw away that many calories while staying withing my daily calorie goal....this stopped me many times

joy4me123

My husband was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 4-6 mos. left to live. He has lost 40 lbs. quickly, and I have gained 20 lbs. in nearly the same amount of time! I am feeling like I just don't care as much any more and eating everything in sight without even thinking. Help me...I want to be healthy.

kmcc144

joy4me123 wrote: »

My husband was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 4-6 mos. left to live. He has lost 40 lbs. quickly, and I have gained 20 lbs. in nearly the same amount of time! I am feeling like I just don't care as much any more and eating everything in sight without even thinking. Help me...I want to be healthy.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Some people eat when they're bored, as a distraction. It seems like maybe you're eating to distract yourself from everything. My advice is to find something else to do when you feel like eating. If you aren't there quite yet- then find something low calorie you can snack on while you work on your self control. We all deal with stress in our own ways. I honestly just had to finally convince myself that MY health was worth it and that I was the only one that could do anything about it. It was really hard get past that mental block, but you're here seeking help. That's the first step. Just keep reminding yourself that you want to be healthy, and ask yourself if it will help get you there whenever you reach for a snack.

Coleen312

joy4me123 wrote: »

My husband was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 4-6 mos. left to live. He has lost 40 lbs. quickly, and I have gained 20 lbs. in nearly the same amount of time! I am feeling like I just don't care as much any more and eating everything in sight without even thinking. Help me...I want to be healthy.

I am so very, very sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I can't imagine what that must be like for you. I tend to pray for people and hope it doesn't offend you if I add you and your husband to that list. I lost my mother 12 years ago and that is when my eating really took off. I just didn't care about anything. I ate whatever I wanted and gained 70 lbs. 3 yrs ago I lost the weight but then gained half of it back. I have slowly realized what a process weight loss and healthy eating truly is. I believe that most people with weight issues have them because they turn to food for comfort. The problem is, it may feel good when we are eating it, but we hate ourselves later. At least that's what happens to me. Now I'm logging every single thing I eat; even the "bad" things. Seeing the calorie count really helps. Maybe when you want to eat something, look it up on MFP and see the calorie count. that might deter you. Decide the night before what you are going to have the next day. Stick to the plan. Having control over this area of your life, may help you. I truly wish you the best. Feel free to send me a friend request if interested.

katnoir1

joy4me123 wrote: »

My husband was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 4-6 mos. left to live. He has lost 40 lbs. quickly, and I have gained 20 lbs. in nearly the same amount of time! I am feeling like I just don't care as much any more and eating everything in sight without even thinking. Help me...I want to be healthy.

This must be incredibly difficult for you. The eating might help you feel better in the moment, but it's not going to stop that pain. If you're eating to soothe yourself, then it will help you to deal with the actual problem. I know a lot of people are opposed to it, but some counselling may help you here. You've got a tough few months ahead of you, there's no avoiding that. But the fact that you came here for help says that you do care, and that you recognise the problem. Be strong, take care of yourself and each other.

elize7

Putting an end to a self sabotage episode as soon as I'm done this message. Actually now... Okay Done!!! Just had to walk a trigger food out to the dumpster. I bought it when i was upset and also hungry and it has been wreaking havoc with my food numbers all week. Now gone. What a relief. It's like I go into denial at the store, thinking I can now magically handle a food that always gets the best of my good intentions. For now, the holiday stress is all but over and I for one am getting myself back on track. Live and learn. Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season.

150bymay

gardnerslater wrote: »

Get some gum, or 1 piece of peppermint. I know this helped me. I needed to chew or taste more than eat and these are my first go to....of course I had to realize that the mibts could be a problem....unfortunately when u found myself deductin120 calories for 6 desolving mints. Another thing I did was eat 2 walnut halves with water....it worked, along with positive self talk and checking calories before I ate something. I had to ask if I was willing to throw away that many calories while staying withing my daily calorie goal....this stopped me many times

Great suggestions. Thank you for posting!

stephallen73

tlmeyn wrote: »

I am in the same boat. I was ok.. Have a 48lb loss, but need to keep going... I have about 50 to go... I was doing pretty good until 2 things happened. My loss stalled and stress started piling on. The stalled loss only adds to the stress.., makes me want to say "screw it" and just eat. I have had a couple such days... Or more than a couple the last few weeks. BUT.. I Decided to wake up with the intention of being good every day. I find it's usually if I don't plan ahead, if I don't take my food with (I'm low carb and Oslo is made out of bread), or don't take enough food, That I am going to fail. If I don't pre-log..and just log as I go, I will probably fail. So if I pre-log, I might make some changes if particularly, stressed, but generally, I will eat what I have said I will, and then ask myself later, if I want more, if I am really hungry, and do I deserve it? Have I been good all week? Have I exercised enough?
Do I want to gain the weight back?
That usually helps me to stay on track. I also build wine and snacks into my weekends, so that I know I have to eat a little less (or more soup) in order to have them. Works out good 90% of the time. The loss stall is what really made me throw up my hands a couple of days. So I ate like I used to... But logged every bite.

Wow.....I really saw how much I had been eating and how bad I'd been eating. That was a good wake-up call. I gained a pound. That was a slap in the face. So now, I just keep chugging, even though the scale is not moving... And hopefully it will move again soon. I don't want to go back! I am Still fat, but not as fat!

I don't know if this helps you, but I hope so.

stephallen73

I like the idea of pre-logging. That will help me plan and hopefully stick to it. I know I have to eat every 3 hours or I get hungry and can easily turn to whatever is in front of me... Such as cheese and crackers this afternoon. Anyone have ideas on how to unwind with something other than wine at night? This gets me.

celliewonder

Well, I'm new to this, so it's been time consuming reading through discussions and learning to navigate the site. Got lost in it and that helped! Find something to get lost in.

elize7

Trying to avoid episode of self sabotage. Today i was not able to get going at all. I was able to stick to my eating plan, but i am upset and feel like i am letting myself be walked on. A recurring theme in my life and though i try to self advocate and treat myself with respect, i feel this happening again. I am looking to leave the situation simply because i dont know how to stay and change it. Tired of this. I feel i am better than this and dont get what it is that i do that cues people in to thinking i can be treated like i dont matter. Arrrgh! It makes me mad and even madder that i have to move on again. Wish i could figure out the skills I'd need to turn the situation around, but history tells me that doesn't happen so its better to get going before it gets worse. So frustrating.

elize7

Feeling sad. Just saying it so i don't eat it. Just can't seem to find a two way street kind of love. Just push me/ pull me. Get close/back away. Long distance...anything that makes it unattainable.wish i could find a way around this roadblock for once and for all. It is time.

heyjude2014j

elize7 wrote: »

Putting an end to a self sabotage episode as soon as I'm done this message. Actually now... Okay Done!!! Just had to walk a trigger food out to the dumpster. I bought it when i was upset and also hungry and it has been wreaking havoc with my food numbers all week. Now gone. What a relief. It's like I go into denial at the store, thinking I can now magically handle a food that always gets the best of my good intentions. For now, the holiday stress is all but over and I for one am getting myself back on track. Live and learn. Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season.

Good for you Elize! Out of sight out of mind.

Verdenal

kms144 wrote: »

I haven't had problems with emotional eating in a very long time.. Lately I am eating because I'm bored. Eating because i'm sad. Eating because I want to. This was spurred by being very stressed last week. I haven't been under that amount of stress in a very, very long time. And now I feel like I'm out of control. I have lost 45lbs and don't want to start gaining, but I feel like I can't stop myself. I need some help getting back on track

Do you have an unattractive photo of yourself at your highest weight? Put it in your wallet or in a discreet place on your cell phone and look at it every time you're about to undermine yourself.

serrano2886

Verdenal wrote: »

kms144 wrote: »

I haven't had problems with emotional eating in a very long time.. Lately I am eating because I'm bored. Eating because i'm sad. Eating because I want to. This was spurred by being very stressed last week. I haven't been under that amount of stress in a very, very long time. And now I feel like I'm out of control. I have lost 45lbs and don't want to start gaining, but I feel like I can't stop myself. I need some help getting back on track

Do you have an unattractive photo of yourself at your highest weight? Put it in your wallet or in a discreet place on your cell phone and look at it every time you're about to undermine yourself.

I haven't thought of that! Definitely doing this!

LHWhite903

My self-sabotage: Diet down, don't eat enough to lose comfortably and overexert self to starvation to help speed process, binge in anxiety to make up for huge loss of energy, regain some of weight lost. I jump into things too fast and have to remind myself to pace it out and slow down.

elize7

recently things have been moving forward in a positive way. i discover thst at each new opportunity i lash out at myself with a whopping big binge.. last night included.. i see a therapist, i try to connect with feelings so i dont eat them, but i do. i feel the binge hangdog hangover now - thats to be expected. going forward, it seems i need to be on the look out for good progress as well as crisis for my binge triggers. it amazes me that after so much self reflection and effort to change, and after losing 134 pounds, i am so completely helpless when in the grips of my beastly addiction. so humbling and so painfully degrading. and for what? because i had sonething great happen and im scared about it? i dont understand why that would make me eat uncontrollably. it makes no sense and yet it is a well established pattern. any fitness pals here have any insight on this? feeling clueless..