I was listening to a podcast the other day about self appreciation. It basically advised to do one thing every day to appreciate yourself. The example they gave is to look at yourself in the mirror and say something affirming like "you're stunning" or "you're more beautiful than a number on a scale" - even if you don't quite mean it or believe it yet. It feels a bit stupid and narcississtic at first, but I'm finding it's starting to work!

So many good responses here! Self-care is so hard. Long-term change is only possible as an expression of self love, and I try to remind myself of this. If I think to myself, don't eat that doughnut, heifer! That type of restriction clearly isn't healthy or maintainable. If I think, I really care about my health, so I'm gonna pass on that doughnut, it's so much more kind. Check negative self talk: I wouldn't talk to my best friend that way, why would I say that to myself?

Taking a walk

HG93022 wrote: »

My therapist says that it is possible that I am having a hard time with people at work not saying please when they ask me (or direct me) to do something for them, because it may be that right now in life I am not being kind to myself... In the past, I would probably treat myself (aka be kind to myself) with eating a sweet treat. What are ways that YOU are kind to YOURSELF?!

Such a great question! I believe being kind to ourselves, and I'll go even further than that and say 'loving ourselves', is the most important foundation every weight loss journey should start with. Because we eat to give ourselves love that we haven't received otherwise. It will sound crazy, but the part of me us that binges, eats when I'm not hungry, punishes myself, gets angry, hates myself, etc, is the part that craves love more than anything. It's like a small 4 years old child that throws tantrums because haven't received what it wants. Would you as loving mother, being in harmony with yourself and knowing your child's needs, start to shout and deprive that child even more? Or maybe you would give it a hug and said: ''I hear you. I love you.'' My most recent and most radical practice of kindness been just that - I put hands on my heart and say to myself 'I love you'. I do it even if initially I don't want to, don't believe it's true, etc. It's not narcissistic, nor indulging in oneself. It's simply sending myself some love. I make it daily practice - eg, set a timer and do it for 5 minutes. Make a habit of it. This practice will most likely reveal lots of surfacing emotional issues, so I guess it is important to take it easy and go gently.

great thread.. helpful to see others gain awareness into our common eating triggers... I so treat myself with food.. and Im now learning how to treat myself in other ways. Its odd when u go to buy yourself clothes and you stop yourself because its too expensive or doesn't look up to a perfect standard so u become insecure.. etc or subconsciously I feel like I don't deserve them, but Ill have had no problems racking up the same thirty a nice shirt costs for a binge. Ive been hiding trauma and anxiety with food for a long time.. and I learnt it young .. the child that didn't deserve love and protection now eats. I still catch myself reaching for food when I feel overwhelmed.. it calms me. So kindness.. first recognizing that little girl and loving her. she and I were and are doing the best we can.. compassion.. a few bubble baths, and really noticing the moments in the day were I find something beautiful, feel joy, or just good that don't involve food. For example today I treated myself by taking time away from "to dos" and made a winterland cross country ski a priority.. It was so nice to give myself that.