Today is the 2 yr anniversary of my having a VSG. I am very glad I made the decision to have the surgery. I lost 135 pounds and kept off all but 10 pounds-- I think that is pretty good.

A lot has changed for me besides the obvious (weight/size). I eat very differently than I did before surgery. I used to hate veggies. Now roasted rutabega, broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower are some of my favorite things to eat! Exercise is practically a daily activity now and I find myself tending to want to eat foods closer to their natural state (not finding processed food nearly as attractive as I used to- with the exception of cake. I will ALWAYS love cake!).

Some things haven't changed. I am still kind of nuts about food and my body/size/weight. I restrict sometimes (eat way less than I should) because it feels powerful to know I am hungry and choose not to eat. Other times I eat less during the day so I can binge on junk at night without gaining. I have some days when I am "normal"- I eat well and take good care of me. Right now, I am thinking a lot about the 10 pounds I have gained in the last 6 months. Sometimes I am very determined to take it off. Other times, I don't really care-- because compared to where I came from, an extra 10 pounds is really no big deal.

I don't know where I am going with all of this except to say that I remain a work in progress. I still give my weight too much importance with regard to my self worth. I still spend too much time and energy focused on food/diet stuff. I was hoping having the surgery would free me from food/diet obsession-- it hasn't-- but the degree of my obsession varies, so I guess that could be seen as improvement? I am not sure what the solution is. I do not know how to just "live" and not worry about counting "stuff" (calories, carbs, whatever). Hopefully that is on the horizon for me in this next year.

As always, I am grateful for the encouragement and support I get here! Smoochies to everyone!!