Introductions

Introduce yourself here!

I will post mine later!

Replies

I'm computerfox82 and I live in the southeastern part of the USA. I have struggled with my weight for quite a few years now. I love to skate, hike, cook, play music, and still water kayak. I'm 33 and ready to start a family this year. Very glad this group exists.

vrokhfit

I'm Vanessa, I'm 29 and live in MN. My husband and I just got married in September. His mother has been fighting cancer for 4 + years now so it's important to him that we conceive sooner rather than later so I most likely will not reach the healthy BMI range before we conceive. I would REALLY like, however, to at least exit the obese range, but honestly, that might not even happen. We're currently not trying but not preventing. I started out at 270 some time ago and had made it down to 231 right before we left for our honeymoon in mid Dec which was, of course, immediately followed by the holidays so once I get back to that number I will be a happy girl!

I really look forward to getting to know all of you!

VeryKatie

Hello everyone! I'm Katie and I live in Manitoba, Canada. I got married in July and my husband and I are hoping to try for a baby as soon as we get back from our honeymoon in June (bit of a delay... though I guess this is really honeymoon number 2).

I've been attempting to get to a certain weight since 2013 (YUP, 2013) and have basically not succeeded in getting any closer than 10 lbs to it (once, I was 3 lbs away and it was glorious... but I lost it... I let a comment derail me). I'm now at the point where I want to hit goal, and maintain for a few months before TTC. And June/July is coming up fast!

More about me.. I'm an engineer - hence why I love spreadsheets so much. My husband is an accountant so we're both math people (especially when you consider I do cost estimating haha). We built and moved into a house in August of 2015 and life has not yet settled in there. Working on it!

Sadly, it seems I do not have any hobbies. I used to draw and make up little stories (not writing, but just in point form haha). I also used to read a lot. So hopefully, once I reach maintenance, I can get some hobbies back. It seems like I spend a lot of time meal planning these days - or convincing myself that meal planning is so hard that I deserve a break by watching oodles of TV.

I'm really looking forward to summer, not only for my trip, but also because I might have obtained a spot on a rookie soccer team. I'm really hoping I'll enjoy it. It's great exercise and my fun cousins play on the team so it should be good socially too! I also play dodge ball on Sunday nights, and that's pretty fun. I'm not the best, but it's a good way to get out and move a bit.

I'm happy to have all of you here with me! It looks like we have a great group going. All the best to you in the challenge!

computerfox82

So sorry about the comment VeryKatie. Don't let anyone derail you from achieving your goals. Good luck with the soccer team.

teegan84

I am 31 years old and work as a teacher of the Deaf and live in Albany Western Australia, am loving being in this group and the challenge for the month, have been on point so far for the 3 days and also meeting my mini goals I set for myself of drinking 2L water a day and doing 10000 steps per day! usually I get to Wednesday and eat something I shouldn't and so think "stuff it I will start a fresh next Monday". Ummmm what else, my partner and I are trying for a baby but will get more serious and active about it in about May so if it happens earlier we will be just as pleased

looking forward to getting to know you ladies over the coming weeks!

Sabrinarose8

Hi, I am 33 and living in Miami, FL. My husband and I tried a few years ago to have a baby but no luck. we have done all the basic fertility test but nothing showed up so we have unexplained infertility. After trying naturally and a few rounds of clomid, we decided to take a break. I was overweight before we started TTC however during that time my weight shot up to the highest it's ever been. While on the break I took some time for me and started my weight loss journey. I am down 40 pounds so far and we decided to try again, this time we are going to take it easy and not stress out. I hope that the weight loss, healthier living, and less stress will help us this time around.

NatashaLP2014

Nice to meet everyone so far! As for myself, I'm 30 years old and live on the west coast of Canada. During my first pregnancy I had some serious complications(eclamptic seizure) and as a result our daughter has cerebral palsy and global development delays. My husband and I would like to try for another child and give her a sibling, but it makes me (a whole lot) worried because of the increased risks. We are not planning on trying for over a year from now, so that gives me plenty of time to get as healthy as possible beforehand.

I enjoy hiking, cooking, baking and I just took up sewing again. (Sewing should come in handy as I lose!) I look forward to summer when we can get outside more with our four year old.

Tentatively before May 2017, my goals include:
-Reaching a weight of 140lbs (SW:242, CW:212)
-Comfortably jog 30 minutes (Managed that this week! I now want to improve the distance I can jog in that time.)
-Deadlift and barbell squat my own bodyweight (This one is in a bit of limbo.)
-Build a good, solid base of tasty, healthier and easy recipes that my husband and I like. (Made Thai Coconut Curry last night, yum.)

And long term:
-Continue calorie counting from now, into maintenance, throughout pregnancy and beyond to keep me from becoming complacent.

Enjoy the journey everyone!

puffbrat

Hi everyone. I love reading all of your introductions. I am 31 and live in the Southwestern US. My husband and I got married twice. Once at the courthouse November 2013 and the "real" wedding July 2014. My weight has been steadily increasing over the last decade, but went up a lot faster when hubby and I moved in together in 2012. I am enjoying taking our puppy for walks around the neighborhood everyday and relatively easy hikes on the weekend. I also enjoy biking with my husband, but we haven't done much of that in the last 8 months. I also enjoy quiet activities like reading, crocheting, baking, and snuggling with the cats on the couch.

My highest weight was last June at 189, and I would like to be 140/135. I am trying to get back to a healthy BMI, although I don't want to put off TTC for too long. It took my mom 5 years to get pregnant with me (only child) and I have a terrible fear of infertility, especially since we want more than one child. I started a new job in November and we agreed I should be closer to having worked here 1 year prior to TTC so I will qualify for FMLA leave just in case something comes up.

VeryKatie

@puffbrat congrats on the new job!

I'm glad all you ladies are here. I think think group of people with the same end goal as me is just what I need!

WifiresGettingFit

I love reading everyone's introductions!

Hello everyone! I'm Wifires/Kayla. I'm 25. I live in the NE part of the US. A couple months ago, I quit my job and moved in with my boyfriend in another state. We have been together 2 1/2 years and were in a long distance relationship for most of it. I'm still getting settled as I am a person who hates change haha (I know, I know change is constant - doesn't mean I have to like it! :P) so it takes me a little longer to get adjusted to things but everything is getting easier and my next and last step is to get a job. Eventually we will be looking to get a house which I'm super excited about. I really want my own washer and dryer! (I think that's how you know you're growing up! :P)

Anyway, I've struggled with my weight since I was a teen. It was never too terrible but got worse when my boyfriend and I got together. We started eating out a lot, I had stopped exercising a couple months before we got together so with high calorie meals and no exercise, it didn't take long before the scale reached it's all time high. I've tried losing weight before but nothing ever stuck. I've found what works for me now (moderation and my food scale) and I'm definitely on this journey for the long haul (which as most you know is a lifetime.)

Eventually we plan on getting married and starting a family and I want to be at a healthy weight to do so, not to mention diabetes and high blood pressure are common in my family so I'm trying to stave off those as well.

I've already made some progress over the last month and I know I will be making plenty more in the future. This time I've just decided to buckle up and enjoy the ride! I know I'll eventually get where I need to go =D

katy84o

Hi there! My name is Katy, I'm from Virginia. I'm 28, my husband and I have been together for 9 years and we recently married in September 2015. We are trying to get pregnant as soon as possible, but I'm also trying to get my cycle on track. My doctor thinks that my cycles are messed up because of my weight. So goal #1 is to lose weight, with diet and exercise. Goal #2 is to learn and keep healthy habits so that when we do conceive we're starting off on a better path.

I like to knit, watch nature and history shows, take baths and read detective novels. I have a dog named Scout, who is the smartest happiest dog I know and he's at least half of my world. My husband and I run a business together, which has it's positives and negatives. I love to cook, take walks and make lists. Instagram is my favorite form of social media. I watch Tv only through amazon and netflix. I hate commercials and advertising.

I recently started the Piyo workout program through beachbody. I don't take their supplements, I just use the workout. I'm really enjoying them.

Nice to meet you all! I hope you don't mind, but i'm going to be sending friend requests out to everyone- i'm trying to build my friend list up here, I have found the more active people I'm following on mfp are, the more active I am.

Kirstie155

So I guess its about time I introduce myself.

Im 32, married in 2014 and hubby and I are going to TTC in Octoberish. From my highest weight I have lost 70lbs, the first time it was all at once, then I gained back 30lbs, then lost 20, you know the drill. As of today I am down the full 70 lbs, and just 3lbs from a healthy BMI! Halleluja! I still have about 30lbs that I would like to lose before getting pregnant. I have back issues and want to be strong before trying to carry a child.
I am currently eating the whole 30 diet, and have been really enjoying it! i have lost quite a bit of weight and am learning to really love veggies and simple, whole foods. I love zumba and walking with my pup.

@VeryKatie thanks for starting this group!

MrsR130

Just wanted to drop in and say hi! I will be joining in the March challenge and am ready to see some changes!

About me: I am 30, DH is 33, we have been married for 5 years, have two dogs, and we are going to start TTC in July. I am an engineer and DH is a social worker, we are at a great place in our careers, finished renovating the house, and have our "baby budget" in place...BUT I am currently at my highest weight ever and am completely crushed.

So, it is time to get ME back so that we can work on having our family. I would like to lose at about 30 lbs before we start to try in July (6lb loss/month) and continue to lose until we get a BFP (GW 154, UGW 140). I want to have good habits established and take all of those habits right into pregnancy.

VeryKatie

@MrsR130 Welcome to the challenge, we're glad to have you!
I'm also an engineer so I'm curious what kind you are

I'm civil and do cost estimating!

You'll reach your goal in no time. There's nothing more motivating than the desire to start a family.

MrsR130

Thanks! @VeryKatie

I am a biomedical engineer and work in sports med (for hip, shoulder, knee repair). Love it!

puffbrat

@VeryKatie what kind of civil engineering do you do? I work in environmental compliance and have worked with a lot of civil engineers for transportation, water and wastewater projects.

VeryKatie

puffbrat wrote: »

@VeryKatie what kind of civil engineering do you do? I work in environmental compliance and have worked with a lot of civil engineers for transportation, water and wastewater projects.

Cost estimating for heavy civil projects. I used to do structural also. Environmental compliance is something I hear lots about too

But I don't work with it directly.

motivatedsister

Hi everyone!

It's not official, but the conversation keeps coming up more and more at home..so I feel like it could be a reality soon lol planned or not!

We're not married yet and that's always been my hangup (I'm old fashioned!). But I became unexpectedly pregnant earlier this year (we absolutely weren't trying) and then had an early miscarriage, and I think it just really made both of us realize how much we really want to have kids. I'm in my early 30s, so at least for me it's kinda made me not want to postpone it any longer because God forbid something like this were to happen again....I just don't want the pressure of being up against a biological clock in addition to just the normal stress of trying to get pregnant (if we wait until we get married...lol per his mom the proposals coming, but then to plan a wedding it might be 1-2 years away). Lol and no I'm not at defcom 5 or anything....but because the way this pregnancy ended its just added a little anxiety.

I'm overweight...close to ONEderland, and doc didn't think this was why I miscarried and all my post US scans look good and she doesn't see anything that would prevent me from being able to have a healthy pregnancy. But I know risks increase with weight, so I'm really wanting to drop the weight before we actively try.

On top of just all the medical crap, we like to travel a lot and frequently go to the Caribbean and already have trips lined up....before I wouldn't mind traveling pregnant, but with all the Zika crap going on if you're TTC it can really stretch out your timelines. My doc basically told me not to try for like 3 months after visiting a destination where Zika is spreading. So I feel like we really have to have a plan for when we really TTC to make sure we're either not traveling to any Zika area or that we're in the clear to try after being somewhere where's there Zika. We've got a trip coming up this summer, and I'm thinking it should be our last. That'll out us in September/October to safely be able to start trying if we want, and it gives me 5/6 months to keep losing weight.

puffbrat

Hi @motivatedsister! Welcome to the group.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage earlier this year.

I completely understand where you are coming from being in your early 30s. I am same way and would also like to try not having the added pressure of being 35 or older. I had a friend get pregnant last year with her first child at 37. The doctors were stressing her out so badly telling her she was old and doing so much extra testing. In the end she had a healthy pregnancy and baby, but I think it made the whole experience less enjoyable for her.

I have another friend right now who is trying and turns 35 in July. She is freaking out that things will magically get terrible after her birthday and desperately wants to get pregnant before then. I tried reminding her that her body will not suddenly fall to pieces on her birthday

but I understand her stress.

motivatedsister

Yea, you would think with the increasing number of women having successful pregnancies that doctors wouldn't continue with the whole you don't have a lot of time bit. Make people aware of course, but then drop it! I work in healthcare and one day my boss literally told me well no offense but you're kind of running out of time if you don't want to have problems. I was like 30 at the time....people need to get a grip!

If I hadn't had the miscarriage I would definitely still be stress free, but having had one the first time I ever got pregnant does unfortunately make my mind go negative sometimes and give in to the hype.

WifiresGettingFit

@motivatedsister Welcome to the group! So glad you joined! I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I've spent some time on TTC boards and my heart breaks for anyone having to go through a loss like that. I hope you get your rainbow baby. *HUGS*

Just to add to the conversation about age, my aunt had her son at 41. Thought it wasn't without complications and it's definitely not the best example of a healthy pregnancy, it can happen. I don't know if anyone saw but they are saying Janet Jackson is pregnant and she's 49 almost 50. I don't know if I myself would risk it that late but even so, again it can happen. Though I think after a certain age? Is it 35? (I'm not sure.) You're automatically considered a high risk pregnancy.

VeryKatie

@motivatedsister welcome to the group

Thank you for telling us your story - A miscarriage sounds so sad, but at the same time it's know to know that you're certain you want a family. Apparently there IS new research showing that the "age" is more than 35 years old, it's just under review.

I'm an old fashioned type person too haha. I built a house with my new husband (then boyfriend) and told him we had to be married before it was done or else he'd be paying a mortgage on a house while still living with his mom and dad hahahaha. I'm nice like that lol. Started building in October, engaged in December, married in July and moved in August lol. So I know for a fact a wedding doesn't have to take 1 - 2 years to plan unless you want it to hehehe.

You're welcome to join in the spreadsheet challenge if you'd like

Just fill in what you can.

NatashaLP2014

@motivatedsister welcome!

I am also feeling the time crunch but in my case there are significant increases in risk after 35. When I was younger I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30 (had our first at 26) but with her CP and not sleeping for the first 3.5 years that plan went out the window.

@VeryKatie We are looking into building an accessible home to make life easier and save my back. How did that work? Did you mortgage the original property and pay out of pocket to build or get a mortgage that covered everything up front? Or remortgage after the home was built? If you don't mind my asking!

VeryKatie

@NatashaLP2014

This is going to be a long post lol! You have been warned. Annnnd... it'll probably be way too overly MUCH for what you were asking HAHAHA. But... well... I like this stuff, love talking about it SO much! So you get the whole thing hehehe.

section 1 - the answer to the question you actually asked

Honestly, our home building process was really simple. We went to a builder and picked a cookie cutter home to build, and paid a cash deposit of $31,000 (which was later considered as part of the down payment). $30,000 was the deposit on the home, and $1000 was deposit on the land. After that, it was treated as a regular home purchase, with the contractor being the seller and us being the buyers. A realtor even helped us the entire time. We didn't have to finance the home until it was built, deemed substantially complete by the bank's representative, and turned over to us from the builder. At this point, we paid the down payment LESS the deposit we made before and got a regular mortgage.

If you already own a home, you could finance the $31000 (or however much it would be) against your current home, take a line of credit, or pay cash. Lots of options depending on how you like to manage your money. And then hopefully the rest will come after you've already sold your current home.

So essentially, the property and house belong to the builder until it's complete. We didn't pay the full down payment or get a mortgage until a few days before we moved in. We were able to be involved in the finishing selection during the build (floors, cabinets, light fixtures, room options available from the builder, etc) so we still got what we wanted. Plus we were able to shop the really good sales for furniture since we had a long lead time! One key thing to note is to make sure it is a fixed price contract. In other words, they can't adjust the price of the home between the time you sign the contract and the time they turn over the house (of course they can add more money for design changes, but not for interest, labour, escalation, etc). Also, you can still "make an offer" on new build homes, you don't just have to accept their price. We bid $7,500 under the asking price from the builder and they still agreed. That being said, new homes don't get as much leeway as existing homes. Where you could bid $20,000 less than asking on an existing home, far less would be acceptable for a new home. We happened to build during a time of low demand and my realtor said that $7500 off was more than she'd ever seen on a new home. Usually it's more like $2000. These amounts depend on the market you are shopping in too.

The only hard thing (IMO) about building is coordinating selling your current home. A builder rarely meets his estimated completion date for the home so that can leave you stuck in the middle - you might have sold your current house based on the date, then found out the contractor needs 3 more months to finish your house, leaving you homeless. For us, it was only 3 weeks (and I was simply not renewing my apartment lease so that part was easy). We ended up moving twice. Once out of the apartment and into my parents' basement, and then again 3 weeks later into the new house. So you'll want to have a back-up plan that doesn't involve a hotel. Because if they're 3 - 4 months late you might have eaten through the down payment

You also want to avoid owning two homes at once though. Two mortgages doesn't sound fun. But that is the case with ANY move when you already have a mortgage on your current home.

One thing I remember my husband mentioning is that he wouldn't have been comfortable building a home without me. He liked that I used to design buildings and knew how the build would go (heck, I did secret design calculations on my house and kept that in my back pocket). It gave him a lot of comfort. I know a lot of people who are not in the construction industry and didn't have any problems, but it's something to think about.

If you take the same route we did, I know that there are builders who build accessible homes. You might have a little more struggle finding one or fewer layout options or may need to choose a custom home builder. A custom home builder should still be able to structure the contract in the was we had ours though. And to be clear, ours was a standard contract, in fact, the most common way people do it in my city.

Section 2 - answers to questions no-one asked

Below is what I would watch out for if you choose to do it differently than we did. to be clear though, I didn't do it either of these ways so I might be wrong in parts of it, but these were my concerns anyway. And also - the things I've noted below are RISKS and would not necessarily happen to you. In fact, hopefully they're rare. But for me, it was important to consider them and they strongly pushed me into doing it the way we did. Plus both my brother and sister build houses using the same contract structure we did so I could ask them for tips.

Other than the way in section 1, I am aware of two other ways of building a house:
1) Own the property, and hire a general contractor (GC) to manage, design, and build the house.
2) Own the property and choose to be the project manager myself and hire a general contractor do design and build the house.
... ok, and option 3) would be to just basically build the house myself but I'm not going there lol.

Both options 1 and 2 have potential to be cheaper than the way we did it - management costs can make up a good portion of the non-material/labour costs of the home (lol I'm totally thinking "indirect costs" here... which just reminds me of work lol. Don't mind me, Mrs. Cost Estimator).

Also for both options, you'll need a home builder's mortgage. This is a kind of mortgage you get where the bank's representative will come and do inspections and process the mortgage in pieces based on how far along the project is. So say the house 25% done, they'll award you around 25% of the mortgage so that you can pay the contractor. You start making payments on that portion of the mortgage right away. You hour may not be complete for a while yet though (like 9 months or something). But you are not making mortgage payments on the full mortgage of the completed house's value.

For option 1)

For example, if our house had burnt down while it was being constructed it would be my responsibility to have builder's insurance for that. Any claim I made, I would have to give that money to the contractor to rebuild. But - how can you be sure that you'll get enough money from the insurance claim? Other things that would be included in our responsibility if we owned the land during the build would be insurance for injuries, theft, etc.

Also, for this option (and option 2) I would have to be so diligent in my contract review (meaning I'd definitely need an involved lawyer - more than just the typical house stuff) - when the build process is done this way, there are cases where the contractor may end up putting a lien on your house - if your financing runs out, or the payment plan isn't followed, or if they are making claims against you during the process as a few examples. This can cause super long delays (we're talking months to years).

Also keep in mind you're making payments for the land during the entire build process, plus paying property tax (though on a low cost property since there are no buildings) for land you can't use yet.

For option 2)

If I had also decided to act as my own project manager (I would be even more involved in the process than option 1 which can save a lot of money), in addition to the risks for option 1, I would have had the risk of potentially needing to paying sub-contractors if the general contractor decides not to pay them (even if the GC doesn't pay because the sub did shoddy work). This kind of thing really scared me off from doing it this way (didn't need to be worried about bankruptcy, lawsuits, and court dates).

I had an extra liability concern because I am an engineer (disclaimer - home building is not my area of expertise so please research anything I've said separately). If something went SUPER, SUPER wrong on the site, I was concerned I could have been fined, lost my designation (and job)... maybe gone to jail (that would be extremely unlikely though).

So to me, the best option is to have the builder own the land and house during the build.

TLDR?

Hahahah oh man.

ETA: Holy *kitten* this was a long post.

NatashaLP2014

@VeryKatie Thanks so much for the reply, that makes so much more sense than what I was trying to work out in my head! This is all 2-3 years down the road but I can't help trying to plan what I can!

We would definitely go with the same option you did. I have no desire to micro-manage it in the other way. As for selling our current home, we'd probably do that sometime early in the process and rent afterward. We want to move into the city where our daughter's hospital and doctors are located which is currently a 5 hour drive (and two ferries) away from us. I think we won't have much of a problem finding a builder that has accessible options or building a more custom home.

We already have two mortgages at the moment! A condo we bought together nearly 10 years ago which we rent out and our home with 3 bedrooms upstairs and a 1 bedroom suite downstairs(which we also rent out). We thought about keeping our home and renting out the upper floor as well but I think once we move out of this town I don't want to be a landlord.

VeryKatie

Ahhh ok well if it's a rental property, more mortgages are fine! I meant if you're not renting them out hahaha.

I'm surprised you read all that hahahahahha

I can definitely understand wanting to move closer to your daughter's care facilities. 5 hours is a long way.

NatashaLP2014

@VeryKatie My husband even came over and read it over my shoulder!

5 hours wouldn't be so bad if there were a road but our little town is blocked in by mountains and it takes two ferries to get to the city. Those ferries are getting more expensive while they continually cut back the services and number of sailings. As Becca gets older we have more and more appointments which requires time off work for my husband, hotel stays, gas, food and an annoying amount of planning. I worry sometimes that she isn't getting what she needs in a timely manner.

Originally we planned to raise our family here because it's much less expensive and there is a great outdoor culture, but things change!

CharliWhitman

Hi there, I just joined

I am 23 and I live in the UK, I am here trying to lose weight after a miscarriage in Feb this year. I want to be as healthy as possible for my next pregnancy, but I do have a lot to lose! I am 5'1 and I am currently 207lb, down 6lb currently since starting just under 2 weeks ago.

I got down to 187lb last year, but put it all back on over the course of 8 months or so. I ended up pretty much where I started which is really disappointing, but I wasn't surprised! I do now have the motivation to keep going.

I look forward to getting to know you all

WifiresGettingFit

@CharliWhitman Welcome to the group!! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! *HUGS* We are the same height and had a similar starting weight. I was at 201.2 at my highest - feel free to add me! Also, I don't know if you noticed yet but we have started our monthly challenge for June and you are more than welcome to join us! The sign up and logging tabs are in the spreadsheet at the top of the groups main page- Mays is also in there so make sure you're on the right one. We look forward to getting to know you!

motivatedsister

@CharliWhitman sorry for your loss. I was pregnant earlier this year and unfortunately I had a miscarriage as well. We weren't trying but were excited, and after the loss I think it just made us both realize how much we wanted it and maybe we should start planning to actively try sooner rather than later.

I had already started losing weight prior to the pregnancy for just general health/aesthetic reasons, and even though the doctor didn't mention my weight as a factor in the miscarriage it just made me realize that I didn't even want my weight to even be a possibility to have an effect on any future pregnancy....so I need to lose weight!

We've got similar stats I'm short like you and just recently made it to ONEderland, but I really want to be at a healthy weight before we start trying again. He's really got the itch now...and I'm in my early 30s so I don't want to wait too much longer to get started because I know we both would love to have more than one. But for now I'm trying to really buckle down and lose the weight!