Does "getting older" mean "talking about health problems" ?
MostlyWater
Posts: 4,294 Member
Wherever I go, my contemporaries are talking about their aches and pains. Yes, I am in week 8 of my torn ligaments but I don't want to talk about that all the time, and I certainly don't want to hear other people talk about their arthritis and their other health problems ... or their spouse's health problems!
Maybe if I had married kids I'd want to talk about grand children but I don't - and I'd like to - so that's sort of a sore point with me.
Anyone?
Maybe if I had married kids I'd want to talk about grand children but I don't - and I'd like to - so that's sort of a sore point with me.
Anyone?
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My dad does this constantly. I call them 'organ recitals'1
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I suspect it's a matter of what's on the mind. It hurts so we talk about it.
For all we have medical miracles, some of the most basic stuff just isn't important enough to end up getting attention. You have standard arthritis so you're in pain but not debilitated? The doctor shrugs shoulders or whips out the pill pad. How about finding an effective treatment plan instead of popping a pill?
Don't get me started about grandkids or lack thereof... Unlike Farback, I'm not a grandpa yet... My son is such a nerd, I don't know if he'll ever breed. My daughter might if she survives that long. Between jumping out of airplanes and the various other outdoor extreme sports she favours, I'm not sure whether the odds are in her favour or not.0 -
TeeHee... "Organ Recitals". That is priceless! Sometimes, for some people, it's just something current to talk about, other than politics, or religion, or sex. Health issues don't seem quite the taboo, yes?
I have dear family who prefer discussing their current "healthy lifestyle", complete with gushing explecatives and pejorative admonitions. Makes for entertaining encounters when the two sides clash. Nice thing wearing a step counter... I politely excuse myself to go outside for a bit.0 -
I am with you Ms. Water. I am almost 64 and I hate old people, at least the ones that talk about their aches and pains and operations. I only talk about my one granddaughter if someone asks. We all think our grandchildren are the best, smartest, prettiest, etc. no one else cares, shut up! I actually prefer younger people most of the time.0
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I bought my current house (built in 1962) from the original owner who was in his 90s. He moved to a seniors assisted living situation. He still has his driver's licence and comes to visit my next-door neighbours who are well into their 80s and also original owners in the neighbourhood. In a recent visit, he told my neighbours that he disliked the seniors facility because there are too few men and the women are all old and fat.
Mind you, he also claimed he sold too soon and should have stayed in the house a few years more. I disagree. From what I've dealt with so far... the yard was overgrown and several small trees growing in very inconvenient places... the roofs for both the house and the separate garage were around 1980s vintage (ie: worn out)... the furnace was likewise 1980s vintage and so full of holes that the home inspector refused to fire it up... If he'd lived in the house much longer, he would have either died from carbon monoxide from the furnace OR the roof would have leaked...
I guess my point is young at heart works great as long as your body keeps delivering the goods.0 -
I remember hearing this in my 20's. Probably I remembered it as a kind of warning to avoid the life of cliches:
"Young people talk about sex.
Middle aged people talk about money.
Older people talk about their doctors."0 -
I remember taking my parents, in their late 70's at the time, to a Christmas gathering of all their old chums from all the way back to high school and college. I was the youngest person there and I was 50 something. I remember telling my husband I don't ever want to be that old person who talks about her open heart surgery or diabetes or whatever.........ugggghhh. One of the men even brought along some sort of rubber vein like thing that they put into his body. OMG, show and tell!
I hope to avoid those encounters with our friends and family.
Maybe I've been talking about my shoulder too much...........I better stop now.......LOL0 -
Well I belong to a nice social club where I am at the younger end of the spectrum. Surprisingly, only 25% of the chatter is about medical stuff. Another 25% is about grandkids and trips. The rest is about the old days and food. I am actually surprised that the medical stuff isn't more dominant.0
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Aches and pains can be bad but I've known a couple "oldies" that talked in great detail about what they ate that day, the previous day, etc. Not exciting gourmet food, mind you. "for lunch I had the meat loaf and green beans. I liked the mashed potatoes, but they gave me too much. The green beens..." argh. It's like a play-by-play for the dullest sport ever.0
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...and I actually did talk about my health this week, I sprained my wrists when my dog pulled me over. You all wanted to know that, right?! So I guess I'm older than I thought!
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Thanks for responding, everyone. Usually when I comment this, people tell me that I'm mean or unfeeling.
I know it's normal, and even usual, to have married kids and grandchildren and even great grand children. And as we age, our health does change.
I just don't want to hear about it! I don't want to necessarily hear people vent about their kids and their health, and I certainly don't like bragging !!!!!0 -
In the dogmatic words of Henry Thomas Buckle... “Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas.”0
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Thomas Buckle seems like a real A hole, a person I would be pleased to be disliked by. I am a person and I have a thing, my left hip was killing me yesterday, so I had an idea, I went in the pool, tied tubing to my legs and did 30 minutes of strengthening and stretching exercise. Feeling much better and I have a plan. People living with pain are unhappy people. The friends who tug at my heart on mfp are the ones who are struggling. I don't see a difference between people struggling with pain and people who are overweight and doing something about it. The issue is the reason we are friends. I think the problem is, that no one likes to listen to the same old stories over and over. I don't know anyone my age who doesn't have some kind of pain. It doesn't bother me if people talk about their pain. It is not mine.1
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Henry Thomas Buckle died in 1862 so he might be indifferent to whether you like or dislike him... LOL
I find Buckle's quote amusing as he is typical of his British social caste... Social order doesn't work quite as neatly as Buckle presumed, rather it depends on the situational context.
For instance, last summer I sat with my great-aunt who is 96 years old and I asked her to tell me about her life. She spoke of joys and pains, of friends, relatives, children... grandchildren... great-grandchildren... but mostly of herself... She told me of her ideas of feminism and how she started her own business before World War II... How her second husband brought modern ideas to the educational system of the rural area where I was raised... She told me of her views on aging, on faith, on joy... On her recent bout of cancer and the treatment options...
In other words, we talked about people, about things and about ideas... all in one extended conversation... which was the absolute highlight of my journey.0 -
I googled him and that quote was hi-lighted on the page I found. The quote made me think about Commander McBragg or someone sitting in a rocking chair with a pipe and wearing a bathrobe.0
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You have a wonderfully vivid way of describing your thoughts! Let me guess... pipe in one hand, snifter of brandy in the other?
Over the past few years, I started off reading about economics which led me into the wacky world of philosophy as many of the "great thinkers" of the past didn't simply write about economics. They often published about social theory, philosophy, music, you name it. I haven't actually read Buckle's work. Rather, he was quoted by others.
When one reads the wit and wisdom of folks who've been dead for hundreds of years and put their comments into the historical context, it's incredible to imagine how they came up with such original thoughts. Somehow, I don't see the readers from the future looking back at our civilization and saying "Kayne West was such a genius!"0 -
I don't use social media except for mfp. Sorry if I am being a dick. If I were rich and famous, I would not use any form of social media. It is not needed. Now people post something and have to spend time and energy trying to explain what they meant. I like this group and I can do better. I really enjoy watching friends on mfp going from walking half a mile to running 5K's. Getting healthy and watching other people get healthy is why I use mfp. Can't imagine how someone from a different era would react to social media. Hell, all of us over 50's are from a different era.
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I didn't think you were being a dick at all... and I have a number of friends who refuse to have anything to do with social media as they feel having "friends" diminishes true friendship. I don't try to persuade them to change their minds as I respect their choice. I do the Facebook thang because my daughter uses Messenger to communicate and I've reconnected with some extended family members I might otherwise not hear from otherwise.
Definitely agree with your views on MFP. I started using MFP strictly for the food & exercise diary. One thing led to another. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time online... including lately... so I get quiet while I focus elsewhere. It is what it is.0 -
Thanks, I hate agendas and on the mfp boards and on just about any message boards I read, I see agendas. I don't see agendas in this group.0
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My mom and I just had this discussion today. She is in her late 70's and she gets so tired of her bridge ladies yammering on, yes those were her words, about their maladies. So then I asked about her knee and how PT was going. Ah, life is an interesting thing isn't it?
It is a good group, supportive and informative.
Leave my social media alone!
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Well, I like entertainment and I have the time. I'm just not into it for the long haul; not interested in most people's kids and their grand children, specially if I hardly know them !!!
To say nothing of physical maladies ... if you need advice, I'll try. But just to vent? No thanks.0
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