In a nutshell, abstinence for me is applying a sane plan that addresses my food behaviors, which I accomplish through the 12 steps and tools of recovery. I’m diabetic, so I need to consume more than. Counting, weighing and measuring food adds to my obsession, so I no longer do that. Checking in with my sponsor 3-5 times a day doesn’t work for me because I have a life and it isn’t being on the phone. Once I realized what works and doesn’t, my sponsor and I have developed a great relationship.
So, you are correct, it isn’t black and white. My abstinence may look completely different than yours. When I work with sponsees, the first thing I tell them is #1, I’m not a nutritionist, so I’m not an expert on what you should be eating, #2, I’m not a phycologist, so I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, #3, I’m not perfect, so don’t expect that I have all of the answers. Once we get through that, we discuss historical eating behaviors and triggers, whether it be trigger foods and/or moods, such as stress, anger, happiness, etc.. I truly care about those that I work with because this is a life journey.

Hope this sheds a bit more light, welcome to the group!

I think for me abstinence means avoiding wheat as that seems to be my trigger. I notice when I have eaten wheat that is the day that I binge eat.

I like it that abstinence is what we choose it to be. For me it's 3 meals and no snacks and no trigger foods. I've been on vacation and have been allowing myself trigger foods but have been eating them in moderation. That is not my plan, though, and tomorrow I'm back to day 1. After all, it is one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time).

There is a definition in the literature and I think it is not eating compulsively and being at or aiming for a normal weight. I know some who consider abstinence not bingeing. For me it is one of the specific food plans in The Dignity of Choice (an OA pamphlet) plus added cheese at 330 and oat bran before I got to bed. In order to do that I work the steps and the tools including calling my sponsor everyday, telephoning three people, writing in a journal, etc. It takes some time but I need the support. If I could have done it myself I would have already done it.

Thanks, everyone for sharing your abstinence! It just shows that we all have our specific needs that leads us to recovery!

My abstinance is from compulsive overeating. I keep away from processed sugar and store bought bread because these things seem to activate overeating in me. I'm having three healthy meals a day and a snack. I also expect to keep up 3 30 minute walks a week, not expecting power walks, but its part of looking after myself again like I used to do and so stop denying that I have been ignoring my health completely. I found it was selfish to ignore my health by overeating and not getting out for walks.

FOR ME NO WHEAT MEANS = NO CRAZY CRAVINGS, SLOW NORMAL HUNGER, NO EXCESSIVE APPETITE, NOT BEING OUT OF CONTROL.. FEELING CALM AND NOT ANGRY OR ANXIOUS... AMAZING DIFFERENCES THAT MEANS I DONT HAVE TO USE ANY WILLPOWER...

Planning ahead for work has been the key for me... not going to the canteen and taking my own food and snacks has been the way to go...

^^^ yes, abstinence is like kindergarten. The real game is recovery. Also check out the OA Hour of Power.

Yes, it's very similar to vision4you just at a better time for me being on pst. Check out the step talks by a guy named "Zeb."

Very busy last week so I didn't check back but I will listen to Zeb in particular tonight. Thanks, wanderinjack. I am coming through the birthdays of both my kids this week where I sat at table with them while they ate foods I can no longer eat. I am finding that writing out a 5 item gratitude list every morning makes a difference in my mindset for the day and helps me to live in a house where I am not controlling some of the food (only my food) and a workplace where people bring food in as a way to clean out their homes after holidays. Amazingly, I am still abstinent. I am feeling very grateful today. I am practicing several actions and tools to hang on to this gift, including attending meetings, working the steps and reading the Big Book. What do other compulsive eaters do to stay abstinent?

Zeb is a great resource and in working with him one-on-one, I was able to let go of some of my fear and angst that I was having after a relapse.

BINGO! recovery is the goal.

Writing is a great way to learn about character and fear/emotions.
My abstinance is about sugar and bread. I have been abstinant from alcohol for over 42 years now, I'm newer to bread though. Sugar has long abstinant spaces in my life as well. Recently I find myself remembering that tolerance of others is our code in respect to those who can use refined sugar and alcohol without bad consequences. Knowing what I am in honesty helps me keep my 12 Step program as a way of living foremost in my life without wishing I was like those who don't seem to find their lives are unmanageable without it. I like living the 12 steps, I'm even glad I had the problems that got me developing a spiritual way of living based on the principles of AA.

Abstinance for me is to avoid WHEAT as that is a TRIGGER food for overeating and cravings. Many manufacturers know this that is why they include it in most foods. I even found that oven chips had wheat on it with some manufacturers. Not all, so now I have to check all the ingredient list.

My alcoholic foods are sugar and wheat. I've also suffered from Binge Eating Disorder for about 45 years so binge eating is a behaviour that's breaking abstinence. It's usually sugar and wheat that leads to a binge, so by removing those foods, the behaviour is a lot easier to stop. One day at a time.