I need help/advice
jeslynn24
Posts: 70 Member
Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read and thanks in advance for any and all your advice.
Well here goes...I am a married working mother of 2. Nothing abnormal about in this day in age, right? LOL. Well, the hubs leaves home at 5:30 am (he works an hour away)and takes DD in school by 6:45. My DS & I are out the house by 6:15a to drop him off before school care at 6:45a. I work 45mins away, so my work day starts at 7:30. After work, 4:30p, I am left to pick up the munchkins from school and get home to do homework & cook. I don't usually get quiet time until about 9pm or so but I'm too tired to even watch tv. Please help with suggestions on how to get some sort of exercise in my life. I'm literally exhausted with life right about now and I hate the feeling. I feel as if I'm failing as a mother, a wife, as a human because I can't take care of ME. UGH!
Well here goes...I am a married working mother of 2. Nothing abnormal about in this day in age, right? LOL. Well, the hubs leaves home at 5:30 am (he works an hour away)and takes DD in school by 6:45. My DS & I are out the house by 6:15a to drop him off before school care at 6:45a. I work 45mins away, so my work day starts at 7:30. After work, 4:30p, I am left to pick up the munchkins from school and get home to do homework & cook. I don't usually get quiet time until about 9pm or so but I'm too tired to even watch tv. Please help with suggestions on how to get some sort of exercise in my life. I'm literally exhausted with life right about now and I hate the feeling. I feel as if I'm failing as a mother, a wife, as a human because I can't take care of ME. UGH!
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When does your husband get home from work? What do you mean that you "don't get quiet time until 9pm"? How old are the kids?
It sounds like your best options are to either wake up early (4a-5a) to exercise before your day begins or to exercise in the evening - it isn't clear if someone needs to or is able to watch the kids, or if you are able to exercise at home - treadmill, stationary bike, etc.
When you say you are doing homework, is that from work or are you taking a class? If taking a class, when is that?0 -
I would agree, sit down and schedule a time for your workout. Make sure everyone is aware that this will be your time (I would recommend early so it is done and out of the way before you get tired) and that you are not to be bothered. If you are new to the workout arena I would suggest bodyweight programs or videos to get you started, this also cuts out any travel time while you get your family used to you working out, and move on from there. Hope you find some you time.0
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I would agree, sit down and schedule a time for your workout. Make sure everyone is aware that this will be your time (I would recommend early so it is done and out of the way before you get tired) and that you are not to be bothered. If you are new to the workout arena I would suggest bodyweight programs or videos to get you started, this also cuts out any travel time while you get your family used to you working out, and move on from there. Hope you find some you time.
Thank you. I have to sit down and set a schedule. I do have a couple of beachbody videos I need to start. Thanks0 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »When does your husband get home from work? What do you mean that you "don't get quiet time until 9pm"? How old are the kids?
It sounds like your best options are to either wake up early (4a-5a) to exercise before your day begins or to exercise in the evening - it isn't clear if someone needs to or is able to watch the kids, or if you are able to exercise at home - treadmill, stationary bike, etc.
When you say you are doing homework, is that from work or are you taking a class? If taking a class, when is that?
Yes, I think I will need to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get some sort of exercise in. No I do not have anyone to really help with the kids. My daughter is 14 and has concerts and soccer that I have to be at & my son is 9 with Boyscouts and soccer games. Ugh! Homework, is me helping my 9 year old. We currently have my husbands cousin at home (staying in the living room) so I might have to do the videos in my bedroom.0 -
I have a similar issue as I am sitting in my son's karate class now. I really only get 3 or 4 good workouts in a week. At least one of those happens at home. We have joined our local civic center gym. It's a great option because we can all go together as a family. My son can go play basketball while the hubs does weights and I can do cardiovascular or a Zumba class. If you have a place like that, your kids would be at the perfect age. I just have to put more pressure on the days I know I don't have time to eat right and stay on track. It hasn't been a quick process for me but the time is going to pass either way.0
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Can you take a walk on your lunch break?0
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When you say you need to be at your kids' concerts, soccer, etc. does that man you're involved as well or do you just take them there and then wait til they're done? If the latter is the case, could you maybe go for a walk / run while they're busy? Also, you mentioned your husband's cousin. Could they maybe take care of the kids' needs at least once a week to give you an hour or two to focus on yourself? Not just to exercise but also to just have some 'me' time. It sounds like you could use that.0
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The hard bottom line is that it all depends on how bad you want it. If you are serious about it, then you will do whatever is necessary. My schedule is similar to yours and it can be a real struggle. To add to the madness, my work hours change from day to day. I train 4 days a week and many of those are at 2:30am. It sucks, but I want it.1
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I'd think the hard bottom line is drawing a line and setting a plan. Part of the issue is that while married, you're also the primary caregiver, as I'm assuming since DH works an hour away he doesn't get home till late. Definitely work on the schedule, along with scheduling some time to talk to DH about your feelings. It's ok not to be perfect, what's important is that you do your best for you and them.
My mom (she was a stay at home mom) used to have 30 minutes of quiet time every day to do whatever she wanted, even if it was just lying down. A little more difficult as you have a job as well, but perhaps after dinner you can have 'mommy time' twice a week, even if it's just to take a bubble bath if you're too tired. Is it possible to get away at lunch to hit the gym or take a walk? I have a coworker that goes to the gym, and if the weather is nice I'll walk outside, but I know that's not always an option.
When you have time, or your DH can watch the kids for an hour or so on the weekends, prep (and freeze if necessary) meals through the week so all you have to do is pull and reheat, or crockpot meals (you can use a timer for like lights where you can set the time, so it doesn't burn) and see if that takes some stress off your regular day to day, and leaves you energy to work out as well.0 -
Thank you & great idea...I think I heard someone tell me that we have one about 20 mins away. I'm going to have to look into that.We have joined our local civic center gym. It's a great option because we can all go together as a family. My son can go play basketball while the hubs does weights and I can do cardiovascular or a Zumba class. If you have a place like that, your kids would be at the perfect age.
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nixthebrownies wrote: »Can you take a walk on your lunch break?
When it doesn't rain. I would have to bring a change of clothes as I work in heels & a suit
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Wow Thanks...great suggestions. I do need to sit down and have a hard talk with my DH.I'd think the hard bottom line is drawing a line and setting a plan. Part of the issue is that while married, you're also the primary caregiver, as I'm assuming since DH works an hour away he doesn't get home till late. Definitely work on the schedule, along with scheduling some time to talk to DH about your feelings. It's ok not to be perfect, what's important is that you do your best for you and them.
True the bottomline is that is ultimately up to me. As a mom, I always put my munchkins first.dykesrobert09 wrote: »The hard bottom line is that it all depends on how bad you want it. If you are serious about it, then you will do whatever is necessary.
I do walk the field with another soccer mom while they are at practice. However, during games and concerts I'm in there cheering them on and taking photos (as that is my hobby & gift to the parents).thehexenbiest wrote: »When you say you need to be at your kids' concerts, soccer, etc. does that man you're involved as well or do you just take them there and then wait til they're done? If the latter is the case, could you maybe go for a walk / run while they're busy?
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I second your hard talk with DH idea!! Your DH's schedule might not allow this, but can he take over the taking kids to stuff one or two nights a week? I bet both the kids and dad would enjoy that. Or can he help with the homework and cooking? If both of you are working outside the home, both of you should be working inside the home too! Or maybe the cousin can help do that stuff?
Another idea is maybe have the kids come with you on a walk or run. Your little boy is a soccer player so I bet he is a good runner!
Good luck!0 -
My days are very long and I feel your pain. I wake up at 5 am to cook breakfast for my kids and pack their lunches and mine. At 5:30 they are getting up and getting ready for school. My husband leaves at 6 am and I leave with the kids at 7 am. I get to work by 8 am after dropping them off at school and fighting traffic to get back to work. I work until 8 pm 5 days a week. I have found that since I work at a desk all day that I needed to find small ways to add exercise into my life. So now on my 15 minute breaks I put on my running shoes and do the stairs that we have here at work. On my lunch break I make sure to eat for the full 15 minutes then go for a walk. This way I at least got in 60 minutes of exercise. I also have started to add 10 squats an hour at my desk. At first my coworkers thought I was crazy, but now a few of them do it with me on the hour. So during the day we get in about 120 squats. I also do isometrics while I am sitting at my desk. When I get off of work depending on the day I try to make it to the gym just to finish on a strong note. Most days I don't I go home to make sure that I finish any meal prep that I wasn't able to get done for the next couple of days. Also while I am cooking I do different exercises that I can fit in. I do work with my personal trainer 1 day a week as that is the only time my schedule allows for it. He gives me tons of tips and tricks to get the extra push I need. I hope that this kind of helps.0
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I feel as if I'm failing as a mother, a wife, as a human because I can't take care of ME. UGH!
Your ability to be/work toward a certain weight doesn't have anything to do with your success or failure as a human. Sometimes the best we can do is collapse into our beds and try again tomorrow. I am no expert on successful weight loss, but I know that the more pressure I put on myself the less I succeed. Be gentle and loving towards yourself and your choices. You are not a sum of your shortcomings. Cheers!0 -
@jeslynn24 How has it been going?0
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Ask your husband for help... Seriously.0
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There are a few ways to do this, but the best way to start it is the following:
1) set a goal - how long would you like to exercise a week? How long can you exercise a week? Find the balance point in-between. At this stage, it doesn't matter if the goal is big or small (got 20 mins? Good. 15 mins? Awesome), you just need to start doing something first. Stick with the most convenient plan, not the hard-to-stick-with ones.
2) think about how you can increase your daily activities in a natural way vs. setting a specific amount of time for it. For instance, standing at work vs sitting. These little things help throughout time.Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read and thanks in advance for any and all your advice.
Well here goes...I am a married working mother of 2. Nothing abnormal about in this day in age, right? LOL. Well, the hubs leaves home at 5:30 am (he works an hour away)and takes DD in school by 6:45. My DS & I are out the house by 6:15a to drop him off before school care at 6:45a. I work 45mins away, so my work day starts at 7:30. After work, 4:30p, I am left to pick up the munchkins from school and get home to do homework & cook. I don't usually get quiet time until about 9pm or so but I'm too tired to even watch tv. Please help with suggestions on how to get some sort of exercise in my life. I'm literally exhausted with life right about now and I hate the feeling. I feel as if I'm failing as a mother, a wife, as a human because I can't take care of ME. UGH!
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blackflaggirl wrote: »I feel as if I'm failing as a mother, a wife, as a human because I can't take care of ME. UGH!
Your ability to be/work toward a certain weight doesn't have anything to do with your success or failure as a human. Sometimes the best we can do is collapse into our beds and try again tomorrow. I am no expert on successful weight loss, but I know that the more pressure I put on myself the less I succeed. Be gentle and loving towards yourself and your choices. You are not a sum of your shortcomings. Cheers!
Thank you!0 -
There are a few ways to do this, but the best way to start it is the following:
1) set a goal - how long would you like to exercise a week? How long can you exercise a week? Find the balance point in-between. At this stage, it doesn't matter if the goal is big or small (got 20 mins? Good. 15 mins? Awesome), you just need to start doing something first. Stick with the most convenient plan, not the hard-to-stick-with ones.
2) think about how you can increase your daily activities in a natural way vs. setting a specific amount of time for it. For instance, standing at work vs sitting. These little things help throughout time.
Thank you @ricelean I appreciate you reaching out to me. I haven't been in here in some time as I'm just beat when I get home. I fee that my weight is truly affecting my energy.
I appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions.0 -
So I noticed that this thread was started in February. How have things been going since then? Been sticking to a plan?0
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@captbklee thank you for asking. In all honesty I gave up on myself! Life got too busy and overwhelming for me that I threw in the towel. However, yesterday I started my journey AGAIN!! If i want to be around to see my children graduate i need to do this. Yep, If I am to be it's up to me. So, let's see how I do this go round.0
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Well good luck and don't be shy about asking for support1
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@captbklee thank you for asking. In all honesty I gave up on myself! Life got too busy and overwhelming for me that I threw in the towel. However, yesterday I started my journey AGAIN!! If i want to be around to see my children graduate i need to do this. Yep, If I am to be it's up to me. So, let's see how I do this go round.
You can do this! I know I have personally fallen off the wagon more times that I can count. I have given up on my goal weight in life, I have taken it out on my body by eating whatever was in my face.
But you have to realize you are more important than food! It has taken awhile for me to come to that realization. We eat to live, not live to eat! With the support of these great peeps here we can help you through the journey! 0
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