My Lucky Brand jeans.

I've been watching my life pass by whilst sitting on the sidelines due to my weight for too many years. I'd tried so many things to lose weight and nothing worked sustainably after I started taking insulin. The number on my glucose monitor keeps me focused when I'm down and out, even when that number moves in the wrong direction. I'm still subject to high sugars when I'm stressed or ill, but most days just keeping the carbs super low does the trick, so I'm motivated to stick with it, even if I slip up.

well, you are not alone in your struggles..currently, I'm battling some very serious slippages..has been going back and forth for about 3 weeks, coinciding with taking sone new social risks..
have to get off the pity pot/excuse factory and try not to undo all my hard work of the last year and one half.
this swinging back and forth from serious spartan eating to wild binging really frightens me. i havent made any progress in coping with or changing that behavior at all..and, i know that i need to figure it out or i am at risk of regaining 135 pounds -yo yo style- as i have done in the past. I really dont get this piece of my eating disorder - finally reaching the home stretch of my plans and then... sabotage!!!

I exercise to feel motivated to face the day, and I avoid overeating mostly because I feel better when I don't. Exercise and dietary moderation make a happy feedback loop for me, where I'm not really sure which is the motivator and which is the thing I'm trying to motivate myself to do.

Goals never really did it for me.

I didnt' just stall last year - I regained. I had a huge hard weekend working out of doors (I'm a receptionist in my daily life), and it was just a downhill slide from there. I was at a low of 239. By the end of the year, I was hovering around 260, though I had lost more inches in that time, so who knows. Well, at Thanksgiving, I decided I'd deprived myself so long, I deserved some time off. And I did it reasonably, mostly on plan, but frankly, spending almost 10 days off at home with my non-low carbing SO, it was just easier to eat whatever... I lost 90% of what I gained in that first week back on plan. I planned to do the same thing on my vacation at Xmas, too, but yeah, a rare friend visit in mid December led to an off plan half-day which spiraled out of control into a junkfest due to some outside stressors, which lead to ridiculous binging (I made candy stuff for a benefit, and hoarded away a good portion of it, claiming I was going to share with neighbors, when my inner sugar junkie was on a binge)... I finally got back on plan about 3-4 weeks later, only to have that "but I deserve it" weekend because of something I'd planned during the mad-carb-binge, and finally got back on keto toward the end of January. I've been okay since then, but I think that going forward, I'm going to have to allow the occasional "carb up" type meal/day to manage the extreme restrictions that really do my head in...

But I know that I won't allow it to come to the 500+_ carbs a day I was doing there for a while, because it practically destroyed my repaired insulin resistance I'd been working on... and ugh, I just felt terrible. Even now, I can't really seem to maintain much of a loss, and I figure my body is working hard to repair everything I jacked up over the holiday insanity...

I can't force goals and I can't be hard core restrictive, though staying on plan is easier the more restrictive I am in general, but I guess I really hadn't accepted the things I thought I had, that there are just certain things I can't eat any longer, ever, if I want to maintain health - or that I have to do them in a very specific fashion.

So I don't have a specific suggestion for you other than, take it one bite a time, visit your NSV's frequently, log/journal/blog the worst of your misery any time you encounter it, because our minds like to forget!, and just look at the big picture. Plan for the occasional indulgence if that is the feedback loop that lead to your mad binges, or find something comparable within the plan if that works for you... Above all, no matter what you do off plan or etc., learn from it, don't make it meaningless and worthless.

I'm more dedicated than I was coming back this time, so I think there are times we just need to figure out where to loosen the reins to get recommitted, and all that... Addictions are things we can recover from, but never permanent cures. We're always just around the corner from a slip, and I think acknowledging that actually helps keep me focused sometimes.... And oddly, during times of stress, I buckle down on my dietary plan, and that provides some relief, knowing at least one small thing in my topsy-turvy-ish universe is somewhat controlled....

HUGS and luck to you.

I guess I'm lucky that bread stuff doesn't call to me, @emilybeaver! For me, it's carby veggies like beans and corn - or sweets junk. I succeed in changing that taste bud for a while, but then some creepy factor sneaks back in... Going to play with foods for a while. I don't want to face this again in 3-6 months.... I can't do that to myself. One of these days recovery will be too slow in coming.

emilybeaver wrote: »

KnitOrMiss wrote: »

I guess I'm lucky that bread stuff doesn't call to me, @emilybeaver! For me, it's carby veggies like beans and corn - or sweets junk. I succeed in changing that taste bud for a while, but then some creepy factor sneaks back in... Going to play with foods for a while. I don't want to face this again in 3-6 months.... I can't do that to myself. One of these days recovery will be too slow in coming.

Oh it's usually not the bread stuff. It's normally sweets and still is. I need to stop it or find something that is comparable that I can eat on a daily basis. I can't believe I wasted my carbs on that this morning.

I find that the more I feed the sweet tooth, the more it haunts me. Sweetening to tolerance, not to taste, and fasting through my trigger times, then only allowing salt and fats to feed the sweet taste first are the only things that have partially restored my sanity!

I wear fat clothes. Primarily, a sweatshirt, that when I bought a year ago was snug. I recall how embarrassed I was to have to ask for a size that they don't keep on the rack. Today I could literally fit 2 of me in that sweatshirt. I wear it to the gym, and I wrap myself in it on days I feel like quitting.

I have mostly been stalled since October too. I got myself together for a few weeks in November(?) and got to about 150lb but I ave just been dancing around that number.

Part of it is that I got hungrier so I started eating more. My daily calories went from 1500 to 1800+ up to 2500. My ratios stayed about the same but my increased carbs (5% at 1500 is different than 5% at 2500 LOL) kept me hungry. So I guess I wasn't really stalled since I was not cutting calories....

But I did not want to cut calories again. If my body was hungry i wanted to listen to it. I did not want that slowed metabolism that comes with cutting calories, although I think I might have it to a small degree anyways - as my weight goes down my caloric needs are dropping.

I tried to wait out my "hungries", as my son would put it, but 5 months later it is still there. Instead I am trying fasting and IF too. Just not eating is much easier for me than moderating how much I eat. Happily, after a week of IF and some fast days, my appetite is dropping too so I feel more satisfied with what I am eating. The scale did a very slight dip but I won't declare success until it is a good 5 lbs below my stall weight.

I think you are doing the right thing by playing around with what and when you eat. I hope it works for you. Make sure you give it a few weeks to really test it.

Also, if you are increasing water and lowering carbs, make sure you increase sodium intake too.

Stories like yours keep me on the straight and narrow. I swear, I'm "scared straight". I do NOT want to feel like crap. I do NOT want the scale to move in the wrong direction. Besides, I've already gotten rid of my fat pants.