Binging as I type...I'm new here.

happyashlee
happyashlee Posts: 2 Member
Oh where do I even start. I can almost guarantee all of my binging stories mirror those of your own. You all know exactly how I am feeling right now as I have just inhaled in a matter of a few short minutes an entire bacon and egg bagel, pancake breakfast sandwich, hash brown, and a large chocolate blended ice coffee. Which, let's face it, is a chocolate shake. I cannot do this anymore. My world cannot revolve around my food highs. All day long it's "When can I eat again?" Or "As soon as I get home from work I'm going to eat 4 cinnamon rolls, some Cheezits, a Dr. Pepper, Doritos, and ice cream". And I feel as if others who do not experience this don't think it is truly a problem. But they don't lay in bed at night wishing they could just stop eating. They don't eat an entire box of cookies and a bag of potato chips and afterwards feel like they want to die because of the guilt and shame. I used to be the "thin girl" then 100 pounds later I'm the woman who can't stop eating. I recently lost 30 pounds. I have gained half of it back due to me not being able to control my binging.

I'm here for help. I'm crying out for it.

I. Need. Help.

I just ordered two books from Amazon called The Hunger Fix by Pam Peeke and Sweet Surrender which is a Christian 12 step program for food addiction.

I feel somewhat relieved that I have been able to share this with someone. Maybe this is the beginning I need to heal.

Now if I can only throw away the remaining coffee shake that I have been staring at while I type...

Replies

  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
    Hugs to you. I have been there. What worked for me was to tell myself it's ok to eat whatever (since telling myself "don't" or "can't" indeed made me eat more and eat even more quickly). so keep eating whatever you wanna eat but just slowly, with deep breaths in between, smaller bite each time, drinking lots of water between each bite.
  • Angelszophia
    Angelszophia Posts: 127 Member
    Try to breathe then hide the food from sight... I feel you.
  • Nevadaden
    Nevadaden Posts: 971 Member
    If reading books helps you (I fall into that category myself), I recommend Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen.
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
    Talking about book, I found Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth helpful.
  • sothgo
    sothgo Posts: 315 Member
    "brain over binge" help me a lot, I read this many times, I truly understand what you feel , hope you'll find a way to fight the monster
  • Cynsonya
    Cynsonya Posts: 668 Member
    I'm you. Our you're me. Not sure which, lol. Regardless, our stories seem the same.
  • RunawayCurves
    RunawayCurves Posts: 688 Member
    You are not alone, I once logged a binge on here years ago on a previous profile. It came out as over 20'000 calories. That is right I ate 10 days worth of calories in one day. That is how bad it can get after decades of binge eating. That would probably put a normal person in hospital but my body is so used to that kind of abuse that it did not even make me sick, it all stayed down. I have alternated that kind of behaviour with severe restricting and starvation but the binge days far exceeded the starvation days so I have been morbidly obese most of my life. I refuse to give up on working toward recovery though.
  • redrosez4
    redrosez4 Posts: 23 Member
    What you said is exactly what I am going through. My life revolves around food and I am completely obsessed with it. I hate being this way and letting it control me. It is so hard. I feel like a drug addict.

    I often think about how I would rather die than live this way. That's a horrible way to think.

    What also makes this so difficult is how our shame is shown to the world by being overweight. This is a curse and I often get angry at the world as of why I was born with this problem. But I will never give up that I can overcome this. I can at least give myself that.