Well hello Crackers. What a week its been! But first - hi BM - good to see you. Love to you too!

First I'd better tell you about my new job (temp). I am PA support in a plant hire company so the first thing that happened was that I was issued with a bright orange vest - to prevent me being run over by diggers and JCBs etc... They seem like a friendly bunch and there is plenty for me to do so the days do go quite quickly. There are a few dinosaurs around (naturally - its a male dominated sector) and a man who burps loudly around the office for no obvious reason so I'm being charitable and saying its a medical problem so he can't help it. The company has a lot of European employees who are somewhat frantic with worry now - and who can blame them. I have to say I'm devastated at what a small minded, bigoted bunch of racists this country has become - and how easily people are led by liars and cheats. The promise on NHS was always a lie - it was never going to happen - how could people be so simple minded to think that somehow there would be more money for the NHS? It was such an obvious lie - I'm speechless!

I spent the day on Thursday as a Poll Clerk. There was a steady stream of voters all day which meant it didn't drag too much - but its a long time to be confined like that (6.30am - 10.15pm) without being able to leave the place. It was interesting though to see how the process works and to hear the same old comments over and over again (why do we have to do it in pencil? you could rub it out.... (I said I was appalled at the simple mindedness didn't I?) I took plenty of snacking foods and was reasonably well behaved (although a voter brought us some home made choc chip cookies (!) so I had one of those but we gave most of them to children coming in with parents and 'first time voters'. We had to chase two people who wandered out of the door with their voting papers in their hands (absent minded and gossiping with friends) and bring them back to put the paper in the ballot box. It was raining so hard when we started that our paper polling station signs started to disintegrate but we still had a queue out of the door when we opened. All in all it was a very long day - my back ached and my ankles were like footballs but it was otherwise great.

Having been expecting to judge at a horse show today - which has been cancelled due to waterlogged ground I now find myself with an unexpected day at home (and a very welcome one if I'm honest, I was busy both days last weekend too) so I'm planning a high level attack on the dreaded housework - think I'll use up some calories today.

take care Crackers

PB xx

Hello Crackers. It's Canada Day here and raining at the moment. No one will complain much though since we have had a very period for May and June. The rain should [*kitten* by noon so people will be able to get out to celebrate the day. I decided to continue my previous lost post and update too as I am rather confined to the indoors for the next couple of days because I must avoid the sun after having the first round of treatment for my skin carcinoma yesterday. This will be brief as I want to watch the CBC Canada programming starting at 11 a.m. It will begin with a sombre ceremony marking a very important event that occurred on this day in 1916 on the first day of the battle of the Somme. As the Globe told me today, at 9:15 a.m. 758 soldiers and 23 officers from the Newfoundland Regiment began their advance, at 9:45 a.m. 85 % of the force was dead, dying or wounded. On July2, only 68 men reported for roll call. At this time Newfoundland was not part of Canada and the whole island had a population under 300,000 so this loss was huge. There were far reaching consequences to the toll, economically and socially, one of which was that Newfoundland ended up joining Canada. So as well as celebrating Canada Day, in Newfoundland today there will be sombre ceremonies. There crackers is my history note for the day and I off to telly now. Back later.

Another short note before I head off to the celebrations for a great-nephew (is that the term for my nephew's son?) first birthday. Just a bit more about the ceremonies I wrote about yesterday. I must confess that I as a Canadian was not aware of how important that battle was to Newfoundland/Labrador. July 1 there is called Memorial day as well as Canada Day. Yesterday being the 100 Anniversary of the battle of Beaumont-Hamel on the first day of the battle of the Somme, Princess Anne was in attendance as she is honorary commander of the Royal Newfoundland Regiment. (I must say I have always liked her and felt rather sorry for the
press she often gets. My admiration, of course, is partly tied into her connection as a well-regarded equestrian but she also seems to take her duties seriously. She certainly looked suitably serious at yesterday's services) I also saw that Charles and Camilla were at the memorial at Beaumont-Hamel which has a very distinctive monument with a sculpture of a caribou on it as caribou are a feature of Newfoundland. PB, you certainly have a close connection with you grandfather going over the top. It is really hard to fathom, isn't it, how someone of just 17 have to do that. My Globe article said that on that day also nearly 19,000 British soldiers died. Just one more note, the ceremonies in Newfoundland featured a large choir called Shalloway and a well-known opera singer, David Pomeroy singing Pie Jesu- I thought of you, PB. with all your singing and thought you might be familiar with the song.
And a final note, I have seen a number of sports headlines in the paper attesting to the success of Wales in the Euro Cup matches and of course, thought of LMV and wondered if she was attending any of them.
Regards.

Hello Crackers.
PB, there was a young boy, about 12 or so I'd say you sang a solo who was the soprano I would guess. Since I am not very musical, I could not say if he sang the whole piece and then the rest of the choir, including the opera singer, segued into another piece I am not sure. Whatever, it was their voices were all very beautiful.
I was at a bbq last night for the nephew's one year old. It was a very nice gathering. It is very heartening to see how much child care both my nephews do with their children. The other nephew has a 4 year old and an 18 month old and he is a very hands-on Dad. The one with the year old child was on diaper duty. I think it is a great credit to my sister for the way she raised her boys (she only had the two boys). It is often said that mothers and daughters are especially close but my sister is very close to her sons and although they are very manly in many traditional interests, they both talk to their mother the same as daughters often do.
I still feel as if I have not caught up with my musings from the previously lost post. That was written just after the British referendum. It was and has continued to be huge in the news here. I have read quite a lot about it and listened to some talk shows on tv and radio. I also spoke to one of my friends in England before the vote (a Leaver) and another after the vote (a Remainer). I was somewhat surprised that with the friend who voted Leave because her son has greatly benefitted from being in the EU. He had not done well as a young man working in England but somehow got a job with a pharmaceutical company in Switzerland and through some very good fortune advanced a lot and now also owns significant property and business in Spain. My friend is definitely not of the far right inclination and I know has supported Mr. Cameron. I have never heard her be racist but I do know she was swayed by the idea of the possibility of huge immigration to England. Whether her concerns are rational or not, I do think that politicians have to figure how to deal with the wave of concerns that are affecting people who feel fearful of the changes in their countries. I think there are connections with the kind of feelings of the many Americans who are supporting Donald Trump. Though there are many zenaphobes and outright racists (especially in the US), this is not the case with large numbers of the disaffected but as the British referendum has shown and as could happen in the US, there can be unexpected consequences when large numbers of people think they are not being heard. Well this is certainly enough from my soap box! Regards.

Good Afternoon Crackers!

It's only been 2 weeks since I last posted but it feels more like 2 months....

BM - I'm glad you filled in the missing gaps as my vivid imagination was working over-time! However please confirm is this the 'daughter' who got married when you had your successful 'operation wedding outfit' or is there another daughter?!!

Bracken - so pleased to hear you've had your first round of treatment. I cannot believe that your nephew's son is already one, it seems only yesterday you were announcing his birth. In the Guardian online they had an interesting article on life in Canada and what it's really like, to mark Canada Day. I thought of you PB after your comment about following your relative! I'll join you as here in Austria our Presidential elections have been overturned and must be held again, as the country's constitutional court annulled the May result due to irregularities in the count in several constituencies. Perhaps you could come and keep an eye on this vote?! However I fear the far right candidate Mr Hofer will now get in. Although my parents voted to remain in the EU my brother and his wife and friends all voted to leave. I feel as if the world is going mad at the moment but then when you consider all those that lost their lives in the battle of the Somme, this is mankind for you, it just goes on in never ending circles of good times and bad - I despair and I can see Donald Trump winning.

Wednesday I'm off to the UK again (if I'm allowed in!) for 10 days so I've been super busy with work - so many schlip orders, 2 new customers and and so little time! I'm doing my last shift tonight. Summer also finally made an appearance so have had lots of work to do in the garden as with the heat comes huge evening storms, causing havoc. The revolting Ermine moth paid us another visit same tree so I'm guessing the eggs are laid already for next year. The whole tree was devoured and covered in cobwebs again but so strong I dared to touch it, the rain and wind couldn't shift it. However there are signs of regrowth starting already and fortunately those maggots hatched after the leaves were all gone don't appear to like any of the shrubs surrounding it although their webs stretch that far they don't eat those thank goodness. Having completed the window shutters on 3 sides of the house and as the last side is currently hidden from view by the apple trees, last week I took it upon myself to paint the top balcony on our guest bedroom in the loft. It is only 4 metres long. As my father painted the main balcony on his last summer visit, that runs 2 sides of the house and having now finished all the many window shutters, this little balcony was now screaming out 'paint me, next, me, me!' It looked terrible compared to the rest of the house but it was hard work, sanding it down etc. However now it's done I'm very pleased with myself and have decided the last 12 window shutters may have to wait until Spring now as I want to enjoy the summer holidays with my daughter.

You may recall this time last year when the daughter visited, I set up my experiment to walk more and attempt to get back to my target weight, after spending 6 months only ever getting as near as 4 pounds away before regaining again. Well I can't quite believe that having finally hit my target weight in August I have since never been heavier than 4 pounds from that weight
a complete turn around. Still I'm off to the land of temptation and hot cross buns so I mustn't get carried away!

Well there are potatoes awaiting my attention and chives to cut all 100 bunches before I leave although the husband will be chopping them for freezing, a major ingredient in our schlip. PB wishing you a very happy birthday - I hope there is cake!

Be good Crackers!

Happy birthday, PB. Enjoy your day.

Hello Crackers.
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I had a lovely time and yes I made chocolate cake which I filled with fresh cream and strawberries from my garden. It looked a mess but tasted very good and there wasn't much left! My guests have all gone home now so I'm eating left overs and clearing up slowly. Off to work shortly and will try and look in later. PB xx

Good Evening Crackers!

Well I really don't know how I managed it but somehow instead of returning to Austria heavier than when I left I have lost 0.4lbs!! All the more surprising when I tell you everyday I indulged in something I would avoid in my normal everyday life!! When I'm on holiday I go intending to enjoy myself and hope not to gain more than 3 pounds - no one knows 'I'm watching my weight' I don't make a song and dance amongst my over weight female relatives.

However this trip I had hot cross buns (which you know I adore!) stopped at 2 packets, I had a petite pain with my Mother but it was instead of lunch, I bought a bag of donuts but they were shared between my family, I had a full afternoon tea spread in London and whilst at the theatre I had a lovely chocolate ice-cream. We also had burger and chips and bought a packet of M&S biscuits to have with a cup of tea in our hotel room but where once upon a time I'd have scoffed the packet in one go, we ate the remainder the following day. We also had a full English breakfast in the morning. I also allowed myself 3 packets of crisps and I had a portion of trifle at a family dinner. I had an enormous double scoop of ice-cream (I still like ice-cream I have discovered!!) with the daughter after having walked around Southampton University campus viewing the facilities... in fact every day there was a treat of some sort but fortunately I didn't have to deal with any evening meals out in restaurants and I did walk lots every day.

Looking back what I can say is I never over indulged, in that I didn't pig out and feel ill, I was able to eat a normal size portion and stop - just like the books always say which I've always struggled to get my head around before. But should you be thinking I'm just too good to be true I did not go anywhere near the confectionery aisle, no chocolate bars passed my lips as I'm only too aware that, that is my danger zone and I can't stop at one bar or even two. I walked away from sweets too having looked at the calories and realising that a small packet contained 1/2 my daily allowance of calories in just a few handfuls.

My goal for the summer is to hover around 133 - I like the sound of being 0.2 pounds under! I'll be happy if I lose anything extra from exercising more with the daughter but as we have endless guests to entertain and bake for, maintaining could be a struggle but we will see.

PB - Gosh your birthday cake sounded absolutely delicious. How is working going?

Bracken - Pleased to hear you've had your second treatment how many have you got to have?

BM - I'm guessing you are now in the UK again?

Tomorrow I have a busy day ahead. First shift back at work and it's going to be boiling whoopee! I'm also intending to pick the gooseberries as I realised this evening they are ripe and ready. I'm also going to venture into the jungle with the lawn mower... My tree/bush (don't ask me its name!) has completely recovered from the Ermine moth in the 10 days I've been away. I did look at the base and I can see what I'm guessing are the eggs hundreds for next year - the husband will be having the pleasure of removing those! They are hanging in web like bags yuk!

Be good Crackers!

So lovely to have these Long posts to read. I skimmed through them because, like a child, I was too impatient to hear the news! I then made a cup of tea and read and enjoyed them slowly.

I am still in Singapore, we are not away till mid August this year, the latest we have been home, OH has a relative from the US he hasn't seen in forever who is visiting the UK so we delayed our trip.

Unfortunately I haven't been too well, I now seem to be having a 3 week period with a week off (sorry for TMI) with the result I am exhausted from it all. Usually as you all know I have a history of frantic diet and exercise prior to my UK trips but this time I just don't care. Well, I do care but I don't have the energy to worry about it! I will have a small wardrobe of clothes to choose from as less than half of it fits me but I am spending most of the time with my family this year and they don't criticise or watch everything I wear say or do. It has caused an atmosphere between OH and I as we usually spend more time with his as I see mine in the Winter too. However I haven't even seen Maisie yet, she is now 12 weeks old, my parents have both been unwell and are not as young as they were and my eldest has damaged discs in his back and is having all sorts of treatments before he is well enough for surgery. As I tried to explain to OH these are reasons not excuses to be with my family. It's causing stress now and we have another 3 weeks before we even leave! I so wish I was one of these people who can't eat when they are stressed/upset!

Hello Crackers. Well I've had my little cry so time to get on with something productive; hence here. It suddenly struck me how much I wished I were going to England where my brother and family are headed today. We had briefly talked early on about me going and certainly my brother would have had no problem had I wanted to go along. But I did not know when I would get the skin treatments and I had other medical appointments upcoming as well. I'm afraid I was quite maudlin and feeling sorry for myself and thinking I'll never go anywhere again, especially overseas. Fortunately, no one was around to see self.
In my last post I mentioned the book I just finished reading, "Better Than Before" by Gretchen Rubin. It is highly readable as she writes in a very familiar, anecdotal style using a lot of personal reference but at the same time incorporates a lot of research into the issue of habit formation. The book is not specifically focused on dieting but she does spent a lot of time on that issue. She begins by talking about 4 personality tendencies and how they affect the way habits are formed. She talks about Upholders who hold themselves accountable to themselves and others, Questioners who as one would expect question any expectation, Rebels who resist the notion of having expectations placed on them and Obligers who find it easier to be accountable to others' expectations but have difficulty holding themselves to account. She does suggest there can be overlap in any person depending on the issue. I was struck by this because I immediately recognized myself as an Obliger. I have always leaned towards doing what has to be done out of responsibility and a sense of duty to others. This is not always altruistic and has often created difficulties for myself. I think it often creates resentment, stress and stress eating. I have often wondered why I could, for example, spend hours and hours on a weekend marking papers and never let myself cut corners but would not think I must have time for exercise regardless or why I could make myself sit and mark for all those hours but could not focus the same on my diet. I'm sure this is not the only explanation for my difficulties but it certainly is part of it. A small example the writer gives is how an Obliger would have trouble turning down an offer of food in a social setting whereas an Upholder couldn't imagine why a person could possibly be offended if, for example, you didn't have a piece of Aunt Whoever's cake. The author identifies herself as an Upholder ( clearly the most balanced position) and at times I could see how someone could find her annoying as she might seem smug although I think she tries hard to counteract that perception. For someone like myself, she sometimes seems very self-regarding but on the other hand, it is what she is willing to do to achieve her goals. (She claims to have been unhappy with her weight for many years until she read a book on low carb diets which changed her life; she lost all the weight she wanted and is adamant about what she will or will not eat) Anyway, as this is rather long I'll post as is. I will probably say a bit more about the book and hope I've not been too boring.

Morning Crackers!

Well put BM - I second the above. I am on my way to the jungle but I just wanted to quickly add Bracken - your book sounds most interesting and I hope it is helping you on our endless journey and please tell us more. Personally I think you must have been a very conscientious and hardworking teacher who very much cared for her pupils and in this day and age, such teachers are fast becoming extinct. My daughter has been fortunate enough to come across a few and such teachers make all the difference to their pupil's progress.

I also think reading between the lines you don't give yourself enough credit, you give a great deal of thought and time to your eating habits and monitoring. You are always reading up on the latest advice and trends and you take time and effort to stock up your freezer full with in season fruits and make up soups etc. unfortunately of late you just keep getting a spanner in the works and being an emotional eater (like the rest of us) this I think is your main problem but you've had a lot on your plate (as has BM/PB) of late to contend with and if only 5 pounds is the damage, then I say you are winning the battle just slowly.

BM - stick to your guns and see your family. I don't think this is wrong so long as you don't insist upon your OH accompanying you the whole time and you stop him from seeing his family. Meet in the middle, agree before you leave on how much time to spend together with each others family and then have time apart on your own with your family and meet up again.

Right to the garden I must go.

Be good Crackers!

P.S. I think I might be a Rebel!!

MITM, I echo your writings on Bracken being a caring teacher and going above and beyond for her pupils. I clearly remember the Teachers who went the extra mile as I am certain your ex pupils will remember you Bracken.

I am determined to stick to my guns MITM no matter how much I will be shaking in my boots, with palpitations and my hand tremors in full force! I have already told OH how much time I will be in Wales, I don't expect him to alter any of his plans. We will still spend time with each other's family but it will be on equal footing this time. The sad thing is I have never questioned the time we spent with his family, which really is the lions share of our 4 weeks. All I am asking for this time is I spend more time with my family, he will still be with his family for almost 3 of the 4 weeks. Ironically he readily admits he has a far better time in Wales with my lot. He gets on so well with my children, they adore him and are so respectful towards him. He relaxes, we go for Long walks, have pub lunches and it is like being on holiday.

Anyhow, onwards and upwards.


Take care all, BM xxxx

Popped in for a minute but very hot in my den and 35C today. Still little rain so much time spent watering the garden. I have several lovely hydrangeas in bloom, pink and cream coloured. The marigolds are doing well as they seem to like the heat as do my two varieties of portulaca , a plant I have really come to appreciate. The hostas are all flowering, a sign that summer is moving along; I don't think the hosta flowers are particularly pretty and all hostas seem to have the same flower in either white or pale mauve. I do love hostas though for their amazing foliage and have some really large one with leaves bigger than dinner plates. Today a rabbit got into my fenced back yard somehow. Thankfully I happened to see it, tore out to the yard with a biscuit to distract Nellie but couldn't see the rabbit when I got there. I know Nellie would certainly go after it and she is tremendously quick. Popping out now.

Good Evening Crackers!

Are we ever satisfied with the weather?! What a difference a week makes... I had to check when did I last post the words 'Off to the garden' as it has rained ever since... And I mean poured on and off everyday. I've been unable to go into the garden as it's been so wet and I was desperate to cut the grass - it was getting to me like when you know you need to vacuum, not that I ever get to that point being a control freak! I did dead head my roses during a brief break in the rain clouds as they looked so pathetic, dead and dripping petals and rain but I have not yet ventured up to the rockery for fear of slipping.

I did walk once with my friend only to get trapped in a sudden, seemingly never ending downpour so hard I had to ring and ask the husband to come out in his car and rescue us! It's not so much the rain being the problem it's the grey that is what gets me down, at least I think that was the cause of my doom and gloom feelings oh and the sight of my frizzy hair for 6 long days!

I probably didn't help matters by reading Jennifer Teege's book, an account of her discovering her Grandfather was Amon Goeth, the vicious Nazi Commandant at Plaszow concentration camp in Schindler's List in one complete day (it was raining) followed up in the evening by the documentary of her Mother Monika Goeth (his daughter) meeting up with Helen Rosenzweig (his maid) at the villa in Plaszow filmed in 2002.

My daughter is doing an extended project on Oskar Schindler and Amon Goeth for college so it was as research. The book 'My Grandfather would have shot me' is interesting as Jennifer has done a lot of background research having been adopted at 6 and only discovering by chance she is related to Amon Goeth at 38 - she's now 46. But what I actually found more distressing than the knowledge he's her Grandfather and how she deals with it, is her relationship with her birth Mother. They meet 3 times after her adoption when she's an adult but they are at this point estranged but the Mother who was a baby when her Father was hanged is more interested in learning about her dead Father then her living daughter who wants to know her. It's very sad and hard to understand how Monika Goeth can go into schools and discuss her situation when she won't even publicly acknowledge this first daughter, she had another 6 years after. And if you haven't heard of the book before, the title is because she is black, her biological Father is Nigerian.

Alas the combination of rain, grey, doom and gloom equals 'eating weather' so I have not been good since my last weigh in on Monday when I had lost a further 0.6 pounds. Still on the bright side at least I was under when I started over eating... However I need to be good now as the first family guests arrive on Monday and I will have to bake. Thankfully I awoke to sunshine today and have spend most of the day out in the garden tending to my plants and cutting the lawns and NOT over eating - and I have no frizz today yay!

PB - long time since we heard from you although you have an impressive checking in of 70 days!

Right Crackers be good - I'm trying!

Hi Fellow Crackers, a quick mail as I am trying to pack, we fly to the UK tomorrow and I have only just got my suitcases out. It shouldn't take me Long to pack as I am the size of a small country and only about 10% of my clothes fit me. Weirdly enough after the year I have had I don't seem to have the energy to care. When I come back in September something has got to change. So I will try to formulate a plan of action for then. I think I will aim for 5000 steps and take it from there. If I am unrealistic I know I will fail at the first hurdle. I will have internet in one of our houses so hope to keep up with your posts there. Wishing you all a happy summer and that you are all enjoying good health. Xxxxxxx