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I have discovered what the
Bonny132
Posts: 3,617 Member
Term butt pee means. Holy Crap TMI follows:
I dare not even think about breaking wind in case I have an accident. I levitate on the toilet, literally. My butt has blisters from all the wiping and I am considering buying a bidet.
My bathroom has become my best friend. My OH suggested getting a butt plug. But I am worried if I bend over, the pressure might be too much and it'll projectile and seriously injure him. I cannot take the humiliation of the court case or being nicknamed the butt plug lady/killer.
If anyone got spare Imodium, please send some my way. I refuse to get adult nappies. Please send some healing thoughts to my poor insides who I swear are rotten btw.
I dare not even think about breaking wind in case I have an accident. I levitate on the toilet, literally. My butt has blisters from all the wiping and I am considering buying a bidet.
My bathroom has become my best friend. My OH suggested getting a butt plug. But I am worried if I bend over, the pressure might be too much and it'll projectile and seriously injure him. I cannot take the humiliation of the court case or being nicknamed the butt plug lady/killer.
If anyone got spare Imodium, please send some my way. I refuse to get adult nappies. Please send some healing thoughts to my poor insides who I swear are rotten btw.
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Replies
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Oh no! That's awful. Did you have this before you went low-carb?
Hope you can figure out what's causing that. I think I'd be afraid to eat! Sending healing thoughts and (soft, non-squeezing) hugs.3 -
I'm going through that right now. I think it's my body getting used to the fat I'm consuming I guess.3
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Term butt pee means. Holy Crap TMI follows:
I dare not even think about breaking wind in case I have an accident. I levitate on the toilet, literally. My butt has blisters from all the wiping and I am considering buying a bidet.
My bathroom has become my best friend. My OH suggested getting a butt plug. But I am worried if I bend over, the pressure might be too much and it'll projectile and seriously injure him. I cannot take the humiliation of the court case or being nicknamed the butt plug lady/killer.
If anyone got spare Imodium, please send some my way. I refuse to get adult nappies. Please send some healing thoughts to my poor insides who I swear are rotten btw.
Hahahaaa!! That was marvelous!
Nice turd of worns there. I could use some duck tape myself, no thanks to you!
Having been on gut-wrecking Metformin while smitten with dysentery, I can confidently advise you not to leave your abode or get within 15 yards of a living person without:-
A butt plug
Super glue
Duck tape
Spandex bike shorts
Ski pants
Hockey pants
Or else.....
PS No, that wasn't TMI.
Yes, you can take a lot of Imodium and be "fine" (needing more) the next day.9 -
So if I superglue the butt plug and fastening it with duct tape, and squeeze into my spandex bike shorts I should be OK to go out in public, or should I play it safe and also layer up with ski pants or hockey pants on top?
At least the power washing from my butt has made the toilet sparkling clean.
I have always had a sensitive tummy, ibs and food intolerances but this has raised it to a new level. I guess I can add I can imitate Niagara Falls through my butt on my CV now. Hopefully it is just my body getting used to my new way of eating.4 -
I'm going to have to rethink this in light of the commercial opportunities while your nether parts are still in eto-adaptation.
If your backside is already capable of power washing, could it also dabble in sandblasting with the right encouragement? If you're thinking of starting a cleaning business, you wouldn't want to use both the butt plug and the superglue while you're making rounds. So perhaps start with just the butt plug and bike shorts, add a drop seat to the hockey pants and save the ski pants and superglue for romantic encounters at home?
Try to get Imodium to be your official sponsor and put its logo on all your equipment and swag, including your car. Betcha folks would notice "The Butt Stops Here" on the sides of your van.
Perhaps if you could also time your Buttproof Coffee and Imodium doses just right, you could moonlight as a concert farter at night. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/transcoded/5/52/Le_pétomane_du_Moulin_Rouge_(1900).webm/Le_pétomane_du_Moulin_Rouge_(1900).webm.360p.webm5 -
Diarrhea is a sign of the body literally dumping excess substances. Overdoing MCT is a classic invitation for disaster pants in LC communities. Same with too much salt or magnesium etc....When in excess of some things like salt, fat, some minerals the body gets rid of [insert substance] the fastest way possible. For those who are constipated...A salt flush works like a charm...
Sooo...If you're overdoing your tolerance, you get diarrhea unless other culprits like salmonella or cholera. Are you perhaps having lots of stuff like BPC ? It's really asking for trouble. Cause there's nothing to slow down the big gulp of incoming fat. Try troubleshoot your intake and test thresholds. Keep in mind it's a moving target, your tolerance moves from day to day. Good luck
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@Foamroller -
Great post, thx!
1. Assuming we're courting disaster (pants) by abruptly increasing our intake of magnesium, sodium, etc., do you think it's more likely that we're undercounting dietary intake (due to ignorance or bad data about what's in our food) or that our targets are too high to start with?
2. Good point about the BPC. Just as there are people who can't tolerate fiber, there must be folks who can't handle a wallop of caffeine and/or certain types of high-fat additives (MCT, HWC) on a fasting stomach.
3. Thx for the reminder about tolerances being variables - there must still be mountains of uncharted territory about ketogenic/LC diets, especially regarding complex metabolic effects on over the long haul.
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Hilare! I experienced something similar as my body adapted to this WOE. I've been at it since mid-October and things are better now. My bathroom routines have changed and I doubt will ever be the same as they were but I can live like this now. It only makes sense that such a dramatic change in eating habits would produce different digestive routines. Please don't kill your hubby with a power loaded butt-plug. Neither the headlines nor his tombstone would look right.10
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A strong-sphinctered young Bonny lass
Worked hard to develop her *kitten*.
So taut were her muscles,
She could shoot twenty Brussels
Sprouts into a cocktail glass.
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@Foamroller -
Great post, thx!
1. Assuming we're courting disaster (pants) by abruptly increasing our intake of magnesium, sodium, etc., do you think it's more likely that we're undercounting dietary intake (due to ignorance or bad data about what's in our food) or that our targets are too high to start with?
2. Good point about the BPC. Just as there are people who can't tolerate fiber, there must be folks who can't handle a wallop of caffeine and/or certain types of high-fat additives (MCT, HWC) on a fasting stomach.
3. Thx for the reminder about tolerances being variables - there must still be mountains of uncharted territory about ketogenic/LC diets, especially regarding complex metabolic effects on over the long haul.
I had read that rather than take the amount of magnesium the lable directs, to increase the dose little by little until you feel it in digestion. So, the dose you need or can tolerate is to be determined over days of slowly increasing supplementation and then backing off by 100mg.
I use a powder form (magnesium carbonate) that I mix with water for exactly this reason. I used to need 500mg twice a day when I ate more vegetables. I would feel it going through my gut if a single dose exceeded that. But upon going carnivore, I had to reduce it to 400mg each dose.
As far as coffee, I add MCT oil to my first cup only. But it's because that dosage is all I need for the mental boost and that stuff is expensive! When I drink more coffee, I'll add only cream or butter usually. But not in amounts as high as the official BPC recipe suggests. I don't need that much to keep me satisfied until the afternoon.
So, self adjustment of the BPC additives to get the right recipe for you is a good idea.7 -
You guys are hysterical.
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^^^word2
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I love you guys, and it hurts to laugh right now!! Lol!!
Yes, start very slowly with mct oil! For some (even just a tsp!) it's akin to a colonoscopy prep!! I can't tolerate it at all!2 -
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Vitamin C can help balance out the issue, especially if it's from overdoing the magnesium.2
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Thank you all guys for the kind words and also some great advice. I have discovered wet butt wipes, which is a blessing. My insides are slowly calming down, and I have never had BPC. It is on my to do list, but only after my insides has recovered.
On a positive note, all my butt clenching has resulted in an impressive rear, I will be taking on Beyoncé for the rear of the year award!
@RalfLott my pressure washing business is taking off, thank you for the business advice. I am still looking for sponsors.6 -
I can see it now.....
Donald Trump presents,
"The Deluxe Blowhard
'Bonny Lass Power *kitten*'
Double Pressure Blast Sphincter" (with aloe)9 -
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I totally think Trump will endorse my Eco friendly product from a renewable source. The marketing campaign would be incredible!
He just won't pay you for it..
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As long as his incredible hair features, I am sure it will make up for his refusal to pay for the ad campaign.
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Lol. Ok I am dying here but on a serious note...I suggest using aquaphor ointment on your sore, blistered patootie. I used it on my kids when they had diaper rash and I still use it (well, they do now) when they have diarrhea to keep their skin from getting irritated and blistered. It is a lifesaver!4
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Holy Crap!! I feel like the lucky one, never having had these problems.... But then again my 2c coffee is black and unadulterated and I have never used MCT and hate regular coconut oil. BPC = Butt Pee Coffee5
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OMG, @canadjineh!
"Gimme a small cuppa black buttpee with a quad shotta MCT, woodja, Oylee?"
Genius!
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OMG!
LMAO 2 -
"Thanks, Oylee. Say 'hi' to yer ma."
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My coffee has now been forever ruined ROFLMAO 4
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THIS has to be one of the BEST threads I've read in awhile!
Thanks for the laugh. I went through this, it only lasted a day. Now I'm fighting the complete opposite. Ugh.3 -
ProCoffeenator wrote: »I went through this, it only lasted a day. Now I'm fighting the complete opposite. Ugh.
Hmm. In 2.3% of the adult population, the MCT and HWC can form a plug, like when you mix a sweatshirt and a toilet.
Try plain black coffee shooters?
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Just a quick update, I can now go to the toilet like a normal person. My butt has no blisters nor "a nappy rash" My levitation is no longer an issue, and my tummy feels a lot better.
It is still a bit dodgy with waking up with what I can only describe as a "hangover" in the mornings, so I am slowly increasing my magnesium and sodium levels to see if that helps. By hangover I mean bad nausea and a headache. I do not use much salt in my cooking as I simply do not like the taste that much. After I weaned myself off it a while back, I struggle to get more into me, apart from boiled eggs with salt or red meat with some salt and pepper.4
This discussion has been closed.