Food fails
Bonny132
Posts: 3,617 Member
I cannot be the only failed chef on this board. Today after being ill for several days I finally felt like eating.
So prepared my chicken, chorizo, onions and mushrooms. Added my stock and spices. All simmered perfectly. I put it in my bowl and tasted it. Immediately spat it out. Horrific!!! Drank every liquid in the house to drown the taste out, apparently there is a difference between 3 tablespoons and 3 teaspoons!!!
I am now considering a shot of pure vodka to get rid of the taste. Brushing my teeth and gargling did not do the trick. So hit me up guys, what is your worst kitchen fail?
So prepared my chicken, chorizo, onions and mushrooms. Added my stock and spices. All simmered perfectly. I put it in my bowl and tasted it. Immediately spat it out. Horrific!!! Drank every liquid in the house to drown the taste out, apparently there is a difference between 3 tablespoons and 3 teaspoons!!!
I am now considering a shot of pure vodka to get rid of the taste. Brushing my teeth and gargling did not do the trick. So hit me up guys, what is your worst kitchen fail?
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Replies
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ahhhhhhh the fun of failed cooking
I still have the lingering taste of metallic death from when I made avocado chocolate pudding with waaaaaaayyyyyyy too much cocoa powder and stevia, at first it didn't sweeten enough and it was incredible bitter so I dumped a few droppers full of stevia extract in it. Bleh OMG it was horrendous! I can't even make myself try it again because it was so horrible, I actually stopped eating avocados after that as the end result was just putrid.4 -
I tried to make keto brownies as a dessert for Christmas dinner. The top looked just like brownies should but when you got into them they were like congealed awfulness. I can't even explain what could have went wrong. Everyone who even looked at the inside of them wanted to puke. lol2
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My worst fail was a Guiness beef stew that I made for a quiet Christmas with my husband in a mountain lodge, far away from any restaurants or grocery stores. We just wanted a simple xmas dinner for once, but it was a disaster! Completely inedible. We ended up with nothing to eat
I still won't cook with beer to this day.
Haven't had any keto disasters because its pretty hard to cook steak and burgers wrong
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Ohh....I love to cook and bake and I've had my fair share of disasters over the years. Usually it's something winding up too dry to eat but dry enough to use as shoe leather. The worst baking experience ever was a pound cake I was making as a birthday cake. It was like a brick, dry, crumbly, just gross! And I'm a really good baker...but pound cake and I do not get along at all.1
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Lol
@RowdysLady reminds me of the birthday cake I made for my stepdaughter. Total disaster for her birthday. It tasted good but looked like a dogs turd. OMG I was horrified
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EVERYTHING I try to cook is pretty much a fail. When the kids were little the smoke detector would occasionally go off, one day my oldest who was about 5 yelled, "Dad, dinner's ready," when he heard the alarm. Another time they told me it was OK if I let dad cook sometimes, "his food has good flavors." Sadly in 30 years of marriage my skills really haven't improved much and I still get teased.3
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EVERYTHING I try to cook is pretty much a fail. When the kids were little the smoke detector would occasionally go off, one day my oldest who was about 5 yelled, "Dad, dinner's ready," when he heard the alarm. Another time they told me it was OK if I let dad cook sometimes, "his food has good flavors." Sadly in 30 years of marriage my skills really haven't improved much and I still get teased.
Oh man!!! Little kids are so sassy!
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Normally I'm a pretty decent cook but I cannot for the life of me make a decent spinach soup. I keep trying different recipes and it just keeps coming out completely inedible, watery no matter how much thick cream is in it, and bland no matter the spices I use. Ick!0
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Mistakenly added Lemon pudding instead of choc. pudding mix in a chocolate cake mix...... they do not play nice together.....had to toss the whole cake.3
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Mine are the "Low Carb Cocktails". Attempted to make a Lemon Drop Martini and it was just gross...I think I added too much vodka....and too much Stevia.1
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EVERYTHING I try to cook is pretty much a fail. When the kids were little the smoke detector would occasionally go off, one day my oldest who was about 5 yelled, "Dad, dinner's ready," when he heard the alarm. Another time they told me it was OK if I let dad cook sometimes, "his food has good flavors." Sadly in 30 years of marriage my skills really haven't improved much and I still get teased.
This made me laugh right out loud! Best 'mom story' of the summer
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BrittaniMyChelle wrote: »Mine are the "Low Carb Cocktails". Attempted to make a Lemon Drop Martini and it was just gross...I think I added too much vodka....and too much Stevia.
You can't add too much vodka, must've been the stevia
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I am not a good baker...im just not..lol...soooo i had been craving cookies so I took a stab at making chocolate chip keto cookies. Well the recipe said to use BUTTER and to add salt. Well I assumed that salted butter would be ok plus i added the salt cuz it was in the recipe and I wanted to follow it exactly. UMM lets just say I got plenty of sodium with those cookies! Even my 8 year old who eats all things sweet was like "do NOT eat those cookies, they are too salty" lol2
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I am not a good baker...im just not..lol...soooo i had been craving cookies so I took a stab at making chocolate chip keto cookies. Well the recipe said to use BUTTER and to add salt. Well I assumed that salted butter would be ok plus i added the salt cuz it was in the recipe and I wanted to follow it exactly. UMM lets just say I got plenty of sodium with those cookies! Even my 8 year old who eats all things sweet was like "do NOT eat those cookies, they are too salty" lol
You can market a new way to get your electrolytes in!3 -
I've had too many Keto cooking/baking fails to count. They kind of all blur together in my head after a while. Managed to burn instead of brown butter once for a lite browned butter pecan ice cream...it was horrible...all I tasted was BURNT. Gah! I have to say, however, that the next batch of hat ice cream where I did manage brown and NOT burn the butter was wonderfully divine!! Used too much powdered stevia (never having used powdered stevia before) attempting to make Ketobursts (ketofied starbursts). That one turned out so bad I could NOT force myself to eat and absolutely had to throw it out. 2nd attempt was at least edible though, lol. Made orange chocolate walnut fat bombs with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much orange oil (not extract) so that it was just pure bitterness from the orange oil. Not gonna do that again. Forgot to add the liquid sweetener to another batch of Chocolate PB fat bombs. They were pucker-power bitter and truly horrid. I'm sure there are many, many others, but those are the ones that come to mind right off the top of my head.4
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BrittaniMyChelle wrote: »Mine are the "Low Carb Cocktails". Attempted to make a Lemon Drop Martini and it was just gross...I think I added too much vodka....and too much Stevia.
It's possible to add too much vodka???2 -
Tried to make the super popular Keto "Phat Fudge" - OMG it was horrible. I was SO disappointed!!! I have no idea what I did wrong, I followed the recipe exactly, and it was positively inedible.0
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I tried to make keto brownies as a dessert for Christmas dinner. The top looked just like brownies should but when you got into them they were like congealed awfulness. I can't even explain what could have went wrong. Everyone who even looked at the inside of them wanted to puke. lol
Did wish become reality?1 -
My most memorable fail wasn't really my mistake, it was my husband's. He is extremely forgiving of less than stellar results when one of my frequent experiments doesn't turn out as hoped. When I want to chuck something down the disposal, his response is "Oh, you're just too fussy. It's not that bad."
So when the whole house smelled deliciously of cinnamon and allspice, he couldn't understand why I snatched a gingerbread man out of his hands. After all, how awful could it be? I had to explain that those were Christmas tree ornaments and the primary ingredient was Elmer's Glue.21 -
mandycat223 wrote: »My most memorable fail wasn't really my mistake, it was my husband's. He is extremely forgiving of less than stellar results when one of my frequent experiments doesn't turn out as hoped. When I want to chuck something down the disposal, his response is "Oh, you're just too fussy. It's not that bad."
So when the whole house smelled deliciously of cinnamon and allspice, he couldn't understand why I snatched a gingerbread man out of his hands. After all, how awful could it be? I had to explain that those were Christmas tree ornaments and the primary ingredient was Elmer's Glue.
Hahahaaaa!! May we all land such thrifty, team-player guinea pigs some day!
PS Use library paste next time and make extra?5 -
I finally bought parchment paper, and several weeks later (tonight) I finally tried to make the keto cheese "crisps"/"crackers."
Ended up throwing them out. They were a weird melted mess and the taste was just off.
I'll try again another day with different cheese, maybe cheddar.0 -
macchiatto wrote: »I finally bought parchment paper, and several weeks later (tonight) I finally tried to make the keto cheese "crisps"/"crackers."
Ended up throwing them out. They were a weird melted mess and the taste was just off.
I'll try again another day with different cheese, maybe cheddar.
I use the microwave for all types of cheese. 30 seconds at a time till I like the texture. I usually do an ounce at a time.2 -
macchiatto wrote: »I finally bought parchment paper, and several weeks later (tonight) I finally tried to make the keto cheese "crisps"/"crackers."
Ended up throwing them out. They were a weird melted mess and the taste was just off.
I'll try again another day with different cheese, maybe cheddar.
The drier the cheese the easier it is also anything shredded works well too1 -
RowdysLady wrote: »macchiatto wrote: »I finally bought parchment paper, and several weeks later (tonight) I finally tried to make the keto cheese "crisps"/"crackers."
Ended up throwing them out. They were a weird melted mess and the taste was just off.
I'll try again another day with different cheese, maybe cheddar.
I use the microwave for all types of cheese. 30 seconds at a time till I like the texture. I usually do an ounce at a time.
How thin do you slice the little buggers?1 -
@RalfLott actually I leave it in chunks. An ounce may be in 4 chunks. Sliced thin will burn it. I don't slice cheese sticks at all. They need about a minute for 1 for a crispy edge and softer center3
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RowdysLady wrote: »@RalfLott actually I leave it in chunks. An ounce may be in 4 chunks. Sliced thin will burn it. I don't slice cheese sticks at all. They need about a minute for 1 for a crispy edge and softer center
Well, I think I'll give it a try. 30 second bursts - on high, I assume?
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I tried to make a Keto cheesecake pumpkin pie with a flax meal/flour crust. I had to keep cooking it way over the stated time until the crust started getting too dark. After it cooled I took a bite and it was awful!!! Raw pumpkin taste, dumped right out. Another was Keto brownies made with cauliflower. They tasted awful!!! I don't know what I did wring because there were comments on the recipe website saying how good they were! Oh, one more. I made a lemon curd pie and the coconut crust slid down the pan. Supposedly this was to be expected, but mine slid into a puddle. The lemon curd took like 6 eggs and called for 4 lemons' worth of zest. It turned out sooooo sour! We ate it anyway...at least the crust tasted good! Lol!1
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RowdysLady wrote: »@RalfLott actually I leave it in chunks. An ounce may be in 4 chunks. Sliced thin will burn it. I don't slice cheese sticks at all. They need about a minute for 1 for a crispy edge and softer center
Well, I think I'll give it a try. 30 second bursts - on high, I assume?
Yep!0 -
Do you then eat with chopsticks as soon as it comes out?1
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Lol wait till it cools a little it'll be crisp like a cracker1
