Looking for advice

lorisisler
lorisisler Posts: 67 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
I left my husband of 23 years today! We have a cycle I want to brake. We split up...both date other people and then get back together. I don't want to go back ever. How do I not give in to the urge on rough days!? Apparently I'm selfish because I had weight loss surgery.

Replies

  • anbrdr
    anbrdr Posts: 619 Member
    Honestly, you need to find a therapist who can work with you through this. It will help way more than internet strangers can. Trust me, I've tried that route
  • RhiannonBecks
    RhiannonBecks Posts: 189 Member
    Agreed w/ @anbrdr , while support here from people who have gone through similar things may help you to not feel alone in the situation, I do think the best thing is for you to seek help from a professional. Codependency can come in all forms and you have taken the step to help your PHYSICAL being, now more than ever, your mental health needs to be stable too.
    Sorry you are going through this right now.
    Best wishes as you sort everything out.
  • lorisisler
    lorisisler Posts: 67 Member
    anbrdr wrote: »
    Honestly, you need to find a therapist who can work with you through this. It will help way more than internet strangers can. Trust me, I've tried that route

    I have a therapist. I go this week to see her again
  • JamesAztec
    JamesAztec Posts: 523 Member
    LOTS of things happen to our relationships when we have surgery. Seeking advice from strangers can sometimes be helpful. But your friends and family that know you and your husband best will probably provide better insight. And your therapist.
  • nakeddog
    nakeddog Posts: 74 Member
    Sorry to hear you are facing this, but it seems like you have a good sense about it. I hope you find the advice from the therapist helpful. I am sure it will take time, and it's okay to be selfish. You need to work on yourself, realize you are fine alone...and if in time you are ready for another relationship you can go into knowing yourself better., and what you need, and what you offer. Resist the urge by spending more time with girlfriends, family. Keep acknowledging what it is that doesn't work, and do I want to keep repeating this pattern. He might derail all the weight loss to keep you dependent on him.

  • lorisisler
    lorisisler Posts: 67 Member
    Thank you all!
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