I have had something like this myself. I feel vulnerable when I get thinner. In some ways my perception of myself when I am large is that I am strong, when I lose weight and get to the middle of th bmi range for my height I start to feel vulnerable. I counter act the feeling by wearing a lot of clothes, loose fitting clothes, I sort of start hiding my body, even though I look so much better! idk? Eventually this backfired into a complete relapse into overeating a few years ago, from which I am just now reaching my goal weight area, so I'm really trying to do the right thing here and sort out any glitches mentally or physically that will send me back into overeating.

It happened again last week, these vulnerable feelings. I felt insecure about myself, about my thinner size, but also just insecure ingeneral. But, the main thing is that I actually realized I had this experience. I think the awarness of it is most of the work done. As I became conscious of the insecurity I just stayed with it. It seemed to go back to memories of body shaming I suffered throughout my whole life that I had never dealt with. i think I had always reacted to shaming comments by doing something to change how I looked, which was a way I avoided actually thinking about the shaming and the insecurity it generated. I would change my hair, my style of clothes, anything but address the real problems of insecurity.

So now I have something to go on at least amd I have begun to understand this vulnerability as something that is actually a good thing. I am naturally a more introverted person and once I stop trying to be a more 'in control' personality, I am free to experience just myself. Its a bit of a turn around, in that I no longer have to deal with so many things, most of the things I feel insecure about just have to be accepted. And finally, I would rather deal with these internal conflicts and be getting into my real nature than just eating my way into another unconscious, avoidance mode.

I do hope this helps, and you are able to get something out of it, I know it may seem complicated, but I'm still getting a grip on it myself. So glad you postd your thoughts on this idea of gaining weight to feel more protected! Thanks