The mental aspect of this is one of the hardest parts. Actually eating is the hardest part for me. LOL I'm coming from many years of very low calorie intake, in fact I'm one of the few that sees a drop in weight with the increased calorie intake. I've caught myself riding along on that weight drop as long as I can before I do another increase in calories. Now that I am finally getting closer to my TDEE my loss has slowed down dramatically and I even have slight weight gains some weeks. As much as it irritates me it's usually on a week where I am eating below my BMR that I get the gains. Usually when I am eating this low it's because it's the end of the month and food is scarce in my house. Just one of the joys of being disabled.

Hang in there, I've been at it for well over a year now and still working on that darn TDEE. Some days it still feels like SOOO much food! Other days, not so much, so still making progress.

If you cannot handle the scale, the get off of it! I cannot stress that enough.

TDEE is not an exact number. You have to take what the calculators and your fitbit say and use that to get to what they say is TDEE. Then its a matter of hanging out there for a while and seeing what happens. For a lot of people who decide to use the scale, (and can handle the changes on it) they will monitor the scale go up and not level out. That is when you know you have hit a true tdee. For everyone else, its a matter of taking what the calculators say and using that as a guide to get you tdee. Then its watching body changes, mood changes and such.

First and Foremost, it doesnt matter UNLESS you can get to your estimated TDEE. As I said earlier, it is perfectly ok to not be ready for this. Its a long frustrating, mind game of a process. Take your time getting your mind in the right place.

Kelly
EM2WL Abassador and Moderator

Sevio, I'm right there with you. Last night while making meatloaf and sipping some wine with my husband he told me to stop it already with the scale and pack it up! I'm going to. I told him it felt like all of my hard work is slipping through my fingers. I ate what MFP told me to eat and didn't think I was super restrictive but according to the Fitbit readings it was restrictive(boo!).
So I'm hovering at 2100 calories and afraid to go to 2300 because I feel like I'll be back where I was 2 years ago.
Take heart, I'm struggling and constantly doubting and seeking reassurance. It's scary.
And 10 pounds on my frame isn't the same in appearance as 10 pounds on someone who is taller.
Just to let you know you're not alone.

The stress right now is the reason for your water weight gain.

You can gain upwards of 20 lbs of water weight from increased cortisol levels.

How stressful would that be - and self-fulfilling weight gain?

It's why some with a deficit too extreme for their body's desire can totally mask that there could still be fat loss (usually along with muscle if body is that stressed) by the scale staying the same number. Inches will go down still, weight can stay the same.
That causes stress, and water weight slowly increases as fat mass goes down, causing mild fluctuations constantly, but about the same weight.

Some can do this totally with stress unrelated to a stressed out body, purely mental. Life, sickness, disease, ect.
And stress over weight changes.

If you are so anxiety ridden by potential weight gain - you likely will gain.

Sevio wrote: »

Pretty much I just need to take a chill pill and relax about all of this. And Trust it all. Every week I need this pep talk. Y'all must think I am insane!

Nope. Completely normal.
Don't worry about it. You are amongst friends here.
You help other people by talking your way through things. This is not a quick and easy solution.
Much better to discuss things here than just silently panic, slash calories and go back to square one.
It's all just part of the process and we get it!
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator

Sevio wrote: »

Maybe we need to jump together! !!

I think so! We will keep posting and reading and hopefully carrying on.

I'm kind of in a similar position @Sevio I have been up to my tdee, but I didn't go slowly so even after I reached it I was still gaining (suppressed tdee), so I'm trying to figure out my number exactly. I remember at the end of my reset (well, guess it wasn't the end), I was pushing 170#. Now, 9 months later, I'm pushing 180#. Not happy about that. But I guess I should use it to motivate me to 1) find tdee and 2) be consistent. At least to stop my gaining.

I know you will think I'm crazy, but I only stopped freaking when I stopped weighing.
I had to take a step back and think what if?
What if there were no scales?
What if the battery ran out and I didn't replace it?
What if I changed my focus to mood, energy, stress levels?
It's tough, but stopping weighing was the best thing I did. If it's just adding another layer to your stress, get rid of it!
http://eatmore2weighless.com/why-you-need-to-break-up-with-your-scale/
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator

Yay, Sevio! So happy to hear this!