Need advice please...
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It is a frustrating journey sometimes, but you've got to keep in mind the bigger picture.
The reset really starts when you get to TDEE consistently and you haven't got there yet!
Patience is key during this time. Give yourself time to repair all those years of damage done with lower calorie. It will take a while but you and your future are worth that time investment.
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator0 -
The mental aspect of this is one of the hardest parts. Actually eating is the hardest part for me. LOL I'm coming from many years of very low calorie intake, in fact I'm one of the few that sees a drop in weight with the increased calorie intake. I've caught myself riding along on that weight drop as long as I can before I do another increase in calories. Now that I am finally getting closer to my TDEE my loss has slowed down dramatically and I even have slight weight gains some weeks. As much as it irritates me it's usually on a week where I am eating below my BMR that I get the gains. Usually when I am eating this low it's because it's the end of the month and food is scarce in my house. Just one of the joys of being disabled.
Hang in there, I've been at it for well over a year now and still working on that darn TDEE. Some days it still feels like SOOO much food! Other days, not so much, so still making progress.
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Okay so if I ever reach TDEE how will I know? Will the scale maintain??? Up 8.2 lbs in two months. 2.9 lbs higher today than Saturday morning. Which is probably water retention but I don't want to see it creeping to where I was 10 years ago.0
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If you cannot handle the scale, the get off of it! I cannot stress that enough.
TDEE is not an exact number. You have to take what the calculators and your fitbit say and use that to get to what they say is TDEE. Then its a matter of hanging out there for a while and seeing what happens. For a lot of people who decide to use the scale, (and can handle the changes on it) they will monitor the scale go up and not level out. That is when you know you have hit a true tdee. For everyone else, its a matter of taking what the calculators say and using that as a guide to get you tdee. Then its watching body changes, mood changes and such.
First and Foremost, it doesnt matter UNLESS you can get to your estimated TDEE. As I said earlier, it is perfectly ok to not be ready for this. Its a long frustrating, mind game of a process. Take your time getting your mind in the right place.
Kelly
EM2WL Abassador and Moderator1 -
So ditch the scale and eat at 2400 daily what fitbit says and most other calculations online and see how things go when I am truly ready for this.1
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Sevio, I'm right there with you. Last night while making meatloaf and sipping some wine with my husband he told me to stop it already with the scale and pack it up! I'm going to. I told him it felt like all of my hard work is slipping through my fingers. I ate what MFP told me to eat and didn't think I was super restrictive but according to the Fitbit readings it was restrictive(boo!).
So I'm hovering at 2100 calories and afraid to go to 2300 because I feel like I'll be back where I was 2 years ago.
Take heart, I'm struggling and constantly doubting and seeking reassurance. It's scary.
And 10 pounds on my frame isn't the same in appearance as 10 pounds on someone who is taller.
Just to let you know you're not alone.2 -
Maybe we need to jump together! !!0
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The stress right now is the reason for your water weight gain.
You can gain upwards of 20 lbs of water weight from increased cortisol levels.
How stressful would that be - and self-fulfilling weight gain?
It's why some with a deficit too extreme for their body's desire can totally mask that there could still be fat loss (usually along with muscle if body is that stressed) by the scale staying the same number. Inches will go down still, weight can stay the same.
That causes stress, and water weight slowly increases as fat mass goes down, causing mild fluctuations constantly, but about the same weight.
Some can do this totally with stress unrelated to a stressed out body, purely mental. Life, sickness, disease, ect.
And stress over weight changes.
If you are so anxiety ridden by potential weight gain - you likely will gain.1 -
Pretty much I just need to take a chill pill and relax about all of this. And Trust it all. Every week I need this pep talk. Y'all must think I am insane!0
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Nope. Completely normal.Pretty much I just need to take a chill pill and relax about all of this. And Trust it all. Every week I need this pep talk. Y'all must think I am insane!
Don't worry about it. You are amongst friends here.
You help other people by talking your way through things. This is not a quick and easy solution.
Much better to discuss things here than just silently panic, slash calories and go back to square one.
It's all just part of the process and we get it!
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator0 -
No more insane than the rest of us!
I can't tell you how many times I have been in tears from trying to eat more in the past year! The mind games alone are enough to send me over the edge some weeks. You can do this, hang in there!2 -
@sevio We have all been in your exact same position. We know exactly what you are dealing with, and thats why we are saying things that you may not be ready to hear. haybales is right. Stress does play a huge factor in weight gains, that is a major reason why women can struggle hard with losing weight - a lot of us are under stress all.the.time!!
Just take it slowly. Your number one priority is to get your calories up to tdee. However long that takes you. Think of nothing else but that. Then when that becomes easy, then and ONLY then is it time to move on and add in something else.
Kelly
EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator0 -
I was doing more reading about metabolism resets and healing. I was reading Sweat Like A Pig blog and some others and I really realize its not b.s. and I need to work on reaching TDEE. And do this. Scary as it sounds. Thanks everyone for letting me gripe. I have no one else to keep me going with this but ya'll!
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Right here with you Sevio. 0
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I'm kind of in a similar position @Sevio I have been up to my tdee, but I didn't go slowly so even after I reached it I was still gaining (suppressed tdee), so I'm trying to figure out my number exactly. I remember at the end of my reset (well, guess it wasn't the end), I was pushing 170#. Now, 9 months later, I'm pushing 180#. Not happy about that. But I guess I should use it to motivate me to 1) find tdee and 2) be consistent. At least to stop my gaining.0
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jerilynconn wrote: »I'm kind of in a similar position @Sevio I have been up to my tdee, but I didn't go slowly so even after I reached it I was still gaining (suppressed tdee), so I'm trying to figure out my number exactly. I remember at the end of my reset (well, guess it wasn't the end), I was pushing 170#. Now, 9 months later, I'm pushing 180#. Not happy about that. But I guess I should use it to motivate me to 1) find tdee and 2) be consistent. At least to stop my gaining.
The gaining is the scary thing. To go from 199 to 132 to now 149 is freaking me out. So afraid to be that pudgy girl again. Hoping this works.0 -
I know you will think I'm crazy, but I only stopped freaking when I stopped weighing.
I had to take a step back and think what if?
What if there were no scales?
What if the battery ran out and I didn't replace it?
What if I changed my focus to mood, energy, stress levels?
It's tough, but stopping weighing was the best thing I did. If it's just adding another layer to your stress, get rid of it!
http://eatmore2weighless.com/why-you-need-to-break-up-with-your-scale/
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator3 -
Well a little NSV for today. Which made me feel a little better about myself. A coworker of mine who has known me since 2007 when I started my weight loss journey said this morning to me that she is just amazed that I have kept the weight off and that I looked really good.
I informed her that I have gained 17 lbs in the past couple of years and she never would have guessed it she said. I told her that I weighed in at 149 lbs now and she never would have guessed that to be my weight.
So the scale really doesn't tell the whole story....8 -
Yay, Sevio! So happy to hear this!1
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I always think it's funny when someone comments on your weight loss - and you inform them there is none, or perhaps gain.
Then they look you up and down with confused look, trying to figure out why they got that wrong.4 -
And its also funny when people r commenting me that u r gaining weight (because they have always seen me lean and struggling with weight loss ) and i reply its on purpose
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I agree with @empressichel I stopped stressing and freaking out, when I put the scale away. It was literally killing me. I stopped spending time with my family, I stopped being happy. My mood was based on what that stupid thing said every day. If it was up, then I was in a bitchy mood. If it went down, wooohooo!!!
It was a terrible way to live.
Im truly a believer in giving up the scale and concentrating on all the other important aspects in life to bring you happiness and progress, rather than a stupid number. Remember, no one sees that number. Its not like we walk around with it on our heads.
And yes. I had people comment a ton about my weight loss.. even though I gained a lot of weight. Even now, I have people comment about my weight loss simply because I post a picture about how great I feel in a pair of pants..
Kelly
EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator3 -
Week 9 Update.
Weight is the same from last week 147.9
No Change in inches.
Average Calories Burned: 2473
Average Calories Ate: 2329
So 9 weeks ago since I started this I weighed in at 142.3 and am now at 147.9
I am thinking that isn't a horrible amount of weight gain.....
Friday I felt terrible. I was in such a mood, I was bloaty, had three different pairs of pants on before work when I finally decided on a pair. Just wanted to wear my sweats to work. Took my dog for a walk Friday night after work and had my meltdown and cried during the entire walk and felt bad for myself.
However Saturday I woke up in a better frame of mind. I weighed in and took my measurements and tucked away the scale in the closet. I am hoping I can leave it there.
It's hard. This morning I woke up and felt leaner/smaller today....just such a daily messed up mind game.
But I am getting better and not worrying it this too much. I am going to continue eating more for the rest of the year because certainly the holidays are coming and let's be honest with ourselves....
I have already made a new years resolution for myself come January 1st. It's cutting back on Sugar intake. And perhaps I might try a small 10% deficit but I am very close to eating 2400 calories per day....
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Yay!
Good for you for putting the scale away! I know that can't of been easy.
I'm sure your body and mind will benefit hugely from having that stress taken away.
You really are doing great. I love the fact that you have made that commitment to eat more for the rest of the year too.
Seriously, you're doing SO good!
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator1 -
Good work on getting to your TDEE and ditching the scale. I do weigh myself but am not fretting about it. Also started increasing in inches now! Keep going u r doing great!0
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Daily messed up mind game is right, Sevio. "I am going to try and hit TDEE" and "I want to cut now!", are in my head all at the same time.
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Good news is eating above TDEE so far And hid my scale. Have not been on it since Saturdays valid weighin. Feeling good about it!2
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