Family Disagrees With Diet
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My mom has struggled with weight issues her entire life. Dad has some pudge, but is no means obese. That very well could be it. My sister took up crossfit, and my mom told her how gross she is going to look when she has muscles.2
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OP, you've gotten some good advice here... sometimes you just won't be able to get through and/or the arguments aren't worth it. Figure out the best way for you to do you and cause as little friction as possible. i.e., eat before you go so it is much easier to say no.
I love all the comments about lasagna and potato salad "not going together". My SO figures I'm the ONLY one that thinks that way whenever I'm horrified at suggestions of something like.... rice with roast chicken & gravy, or toast with a pancake breakfast, potatoes with sweet & sour lol... So glad that having foods go together is normal! (Although officially I knew it was, I appreciate the validation all the same!!)2 -
My family talked very badly about my diet - now they want to know exactly what I'm doing so they can copy me. Then I started going to the gym and they have very negative things to say. Pretty soon they'll be doing that too. Haters gonna hate. You'd think they'd be happy for you but misery loves company.4
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kimberwolf71 wrote: »OP, you've gotten some good advice here... sometimes you just won't be able to get through and/or the arguments aren't worth it. Figure out the best way for you to do you and cause as little friction as possible. i.e., eat before you go so it is much easier to say no.
I love all the comments about lasagna and potato salad "not going together". My SO figures I'm the ONLY one that thinks that way whenever I'm horrified at suggestions of something like.... rice with roast chicken & gravy, or toast with a pancake breakfast, potatoes with sweet & sour lol... So glad that having foods go together is normal! (Although officially I knew it was, I appreciate the validation all the same!!)
Some foods just belong together like steak with a side of bunless bacon cheeseburger.10 -
Parents often see themselves as having failed to be good parents to their kid and wind up acting out this way.
Keep the faith with your WOE and @Rainqueen77 results with her family may become your story.
Humans tend to think "If it is Different then it must be Bad".3 -
Thanks everyone. I makes me feel better to know others have been in similar situations. I am heading away on a trip this weekend with my family, so I will just prepare with lots of snacks and keto on.3
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cr8ivewonder wrote: »Is anyone else struggling to keep their mouth closed at family events? My parents are the hardest critics of me and what I eat. I went 8 weeks doing keto, in public-out for lunches, at work, with my BF-without a single question. My parents were the first to tease me, encourage me to eat "normal", etc.
Last night I took my kiddo there for dinner. Mom made roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn, red lobster biscuits, cauliflower (for me) and caesar salad (for me). They had two types of cake for dessert. I ate the beef, cauliflower and salad and was content. I didn't take dessert.
I watched as my parents took 1 slice of each, going back THREE times for more slices. They polished off half a cake each. When I told them I don't like to eat sugar because then I crave more sugar, they told me I was "going whacko" and becoming a "new age hippie"...while they kept taking more and more dessert. It was gross to me. Then they told me how unhealthy I am. Unbelievable.
I think this will continue to be a struggle for me, as many of our family events are focused around food. My parents equate love to food. If my son doesn't eat 2 pieces of cake, he doesn't love them for the effort in making it, you know what I mean? This is the first time they've accommodated me with food. Last time was lasagna and potato salad. I told them I don't eat carbs, and they said I could have a few bites of each. Ugh.
The good news is, they DID try and make something you could eat. That's progress. Keep on keeping on, and they will eventually see that you're healthier for it. If you get angry now, they will be less likely to try it in the future.
My suggestion? "Let them eat cake!"4 -
Also, I have to be gluten free, because I've been diagnosed as intolerant. Even ended up in the ER with a hole in my colon.
I had family members bring by literature explaining that gluten free was terrible for you. Dropped it off...at my house...with my daughter.
When we go out to eat with them, they always want to go to Italian restaurants, or fish camps. I go, and order gluten free, low carb. They never say anything, but I can FEEL the disapproval. Oh well, I feel SO much better and it's just not worth it to me.
I do know how you feel though. Hugs!1 -
I'm also gluten-free for migraines, I'm kind of amazed at the number of Italian places that are starting to have more gluten-free stuff...not only typical gluten-free pasta options, but offering no breading on many of the meats and such...I know some people are annoyed by the gluten-free trend, but I for one find it amazing and love that there are more options now!!!4
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Are your parents overweight? I find I get no support and some negative comments from family members who are heavy themselves. I don't know why they feel the need to criticize, but I suspect they don't want to watch me lose weight while they don't. It's just a theory. I'd never ask them.
My sister is like this. I lost 100lbs on Weight Watchers a few years ago and went from the 'fat' sister to the smallest. I got lax on the tracking and gained about 25 lbs back and decided after a vacation with my husband and son to start eating keto and my sister keeps telling me I am going to have a heart attack and how do I plan on eating this way for the rest of my life. She is an angry person in general and I feel like she just wants to keep me down. Good thing my husband decided to go keto with me. I like when he tells her to shut up and let me eat my steak and mashed cauliflower in peace4 -
Cryren8972 wrote: »Also, I have to be gluten free, because I've been diagnosed as intolerant. Even ended up in the ER with a hole in my colon.
I had family members bring by literature explaining that gluten free was terrible for you. Dropped it off...at my house...with my daughter.
When we go out to eat with them, they always want to go to Italian restaurants, or fish camps. I go, and order gluten free, low carb. They never say anything, but I can FEEL the disapproval. Oh well, I feel SO much better and it's just not worth it to me.
I do know how you feel though. Hugs!
Here's a little piece summarizing some of the BS that underlies Neo Glutenism, though it may fall on deaf eyes....
http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2017/03/gluten-diabetes-headlines-get-wrong/1 -
I went shopping with my Mum (85 years young!) and whatever I do, bless her heart, she listens. I told her a while ago that my H had cut his carbs, and we found he feels so much better for it and has reduced his diabetic medication to practically zero.... she is also type II diabetic and while at her age, she finds it soooo hard to change her habits, (being Italian and a gourmet cook, she has always figured carbs into recipes and eating regimes) she's eager to try, and never stops learning. I know I am blessed by this - it could so much (by all accounts above!) be the other way, so I count myself immensely fortunate to have such an open-minded mother.
As we walked the streets going from one shop to another, buying what we needed, there were the 'big' people, feeding their kids sugary drinks and snacks, to basically shut them up/keep them occupied/distracted/quiet... It was all i could do to stop myself from approaching them with a comment, but then, ironically, I would have been as 'guilty' as your parents....
Shove information down peoples' throats, and you'll encounter resistance every time. Because as has been said, any criticism is taken as an offence, and the guilt is there already....
@cr8tivewonder, I have to agree with everyone here who's advised you to 'let the results speak for themselves'. And in your shoes, I would certainly expect some kind of support from my partner....2 -
MelissaM1178 wrote: »Are your parents overweight? I find I get no support and some negative comments from family members who are heavy themselves. I don't know why they feel the need to criticize, but I suspect they don't want to watch me lose weight while they don't. It's just a theory. I'd never ask them.
My sister is like this. I lost 100lbs on Weight Watchers a few years ago and went from the 'fat' sister to the smallest. I got lax on the tracking and gained about 25 lbs back and decided after a vacation with my husband and son to start eating keto and my sister keeps telling me I am going to have a heart attack and how do I plan on eating this way for the rest of my life. She is an angry person in general and I feel like she just wants to keep me down. Good thing my husband decided to go keto with me. I like when he tells her to shut up and let me eat my steak and mashed cauliflower in peace
I get the same thing from my sister - she is overweight and on 3 different BP meds, but I get the sideways looks for eating eggs, sausage and bacon for breakfast while she eats her 'healthy' whole-wheat pancakes buried in sugar and hash browns... go figure. I just ignore the looks and happily eat my 'heart stopping' food.2 -
Gadzooks!
We could write a pilot if not a whole season on the Flat-earther sisters of sensible LCD group members.
They all seem to take the cake, each in her own oblivious way.4 -
The great thing about family is that you only have to see them Birthdays and Holidays.
Just show up at Christmas 2017 Looking AMAZING! Then, just say, "I feel so much healthier now."2 -
As I understand it, you went to THEIR HOUSE and they SUPPLIED FOOD, including steak and Ceaser salad that you could eat, and you commented negatively about the dessert's ingredients impact on you, and they responded. You sound rude to me. And its none of your business how much cake they eat. You are not the keo-vangelist.
Next time, invite them over and you provide the food. Or bring food that you can eat to their house.
Over your weigh in scale, keep a graph of your weight loss over time and post photos in a bathing suit monthly tracking your progress. You can also bring these with you when you visit, but leave them in the car until requested by them. THESE documents will be the keto-vangelist without you saying a word.
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People tend to criticize what they are unfamiliar with when it is the opposite of how they manage their choices. If you firmly believe what you are doing is in your best interest then ignore their comments.1
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MelissaM1178 wrote: »Are your parents overweight? I find I get no support and some negative comments from family members who are heavy themselves. I don't know why they feel the need to criticize, but I suspect they don't want to watch me lose weight while they don't. It's just a theory. I'd never ask them.
My sister is like this. I lost 100lbs on Weight Watchers a few years ago and went from the 'fat' sister to the smallest. I got lax on the tracking and gained about 25 lbs back and decided after a vacation with my husband and son to start eating keto and my sister keeps telling me I am going to have a heart attack and how do I plan on eating this way for the rest of my life. She is an angry person in general and I feel like she just wants to keep me down. Good thing my husband decided to go keto with me. I like when he tells her to shut up and let me eat my steak and mashed cauliflower in peace
Love how your husband chimed in on this
I have a sister who is used to being the thinnest in the family. Right now she weighs more than me, but she doesn't say anything, it is just a look in her eyes so far. Since she has had two bouts with cancer now, I don't think she will dare tell me what I should be eating.1 -
Cryren8972 wrote: »Also, I have to be gluten free, because I've been diagnosed as intolerant. Even ended up in the ER with a hole in my colon.
I had family members bring by literature explaining that gluten free was terrible for you. Dropped it off...at my house...with my daughter.
When we go out to eat with them, they always want to go to Italian restaurants, or fish camps. I go, and order gluten free, low carb. They never say anything, but I can FEEL the disapproval. Oh well, I feel SO much better and it's just not worth it to me.
I do know how you feel though. Hugs!
Not sure if you saw this from another thread, but it could be helpful in responding to your family:Here's one on the chimerical connection between diabetes and would-be "gluten deficiency"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/gluten-free-diets-may-be-tied-to-an-increased-risk-of-type-2-diabetes/2017/03/13/4ce6dc26-059f-11e7-ad5b-d22680e18d10_story.html
Antidote::
http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2017/03/gluten-diabetes-headlines-get-wrong/
It is from this thread:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10346123/official-diabetes-diet-misinformation-any-candidates-for-the-darwin-awards#latest0 -
caroldavison332 wrote: »As I understand it, you went to THEIR HOUSE and they SUPPLIED FOOD, including steak and Ceaser salad that you could eat, and you commented negatively about the dessert's ingredients impact on you, and they responded. You sound rude to me. And its none of your business how much cake they eat. You are not the keo-vangelist.
Next time, invite them over and you provide the food. Or bring food that you can eat to their house.
Over your weigh in scale, keep a graph of your weight loss over time and post photos in a bathing suit monthly tracking your progress. You can also bring these with you when you visit, but leave them in the car until requested by them. THESE documents will be the keto-vangelist without you saying a word.
This comment is actually phrased in as much a rude way as you perceived the OP's to be.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
I can actually see your point, but wording it the way you have is rather... unfriendly. We can get plenty of this unfriendliness 'elsewhere'. Somehow, it jars here....
You made your point.
In my opinion, I think perhaps you might have made it better.
But then, what would I know?
I'm sure some of my posts might have been taken in the same way. It is after all, simply my 'opinion'....7
