Family Disagrees With Diet
Options
Replies
-
caroldavison332 wrote: »As I understand it, you went to THEIR HOUSE and they SUPPLIED FOOD, including steak and Ceaser salad that you could eat, and you commented negatively about the dessert's ingredients impact on you, and they responded. You sound rude to me. And its none of your business how much cake they eat. You are not the keo-vangelist.
Next time, invite them over and you provide the food. Or bring food that you can eat to their house.
Over your weigh in scale, keep a graph of your weight loss over time and post photos in a bathing suit monthly tracking your progress. You can also bring these with you when you visit, but leave them in the car until requested by them. THESE documents will be the keto-vangelist without you saying a word.
@caroldavison332 - I think there as a bit of missing context here. I imagine her family probably said something when she didn't take cake, or every time they talk, or just kept giving her a look, or anything else she didn't spell out that could be presumed. Besides, within a family, generally, anything can be a leaping off point. I didn't take it that she was lecturing her family, but more responding to being put on the spot.
Let's please remember to keep it gentle, here. No need to call names. Remember that written words tend to take on a tone based on the reader's perspective or a presumed experience. There was not necessarily any rude intention or meaning behind her post. She may have even deleted a sentence for length and not noticed it affected context, etc.
I agree that she shouldn't pass judgment on her family, nor should they on her. Thank you for the reminder to stop and look at our own actions.8 -
cstehansen wrote: »Cryren8972 wrote: »Also, I have to be gluten free, because I've been diagnosed as intolerant. Even ended up in the ER with a hole in my colon.
I had family members bring by literature explaining that gluten free was terrible for you. Dropped it off...at my house...with my daughter.
When we go out to eat with them, they always want to go to Italian restaurants, or fish camps. I go, and order gluten free, low carb. They never say anything, but I can FEEL the disapproval. Oh well, I feel SO much better and it's just not worth it to me.
I do know how you feel though. Hugs!
Not sure if you saw this from another thread, but it could be helpful in responding to your family:Here's one on the chimerical connection between diabetes and would-be "gluten deficiency"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/gluten-free-diets-may-be-tied-to-an-increased-risk-of-type-2-diabetes/2017/03/13/4ce6dc26-059f-11e7-ad5b-d22680e18d10_story.html
Antidote::
http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2017/03/gluten-diabetes-headlines-get-wrong/
It is from this thread:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10346123/official-diabetes-diet-misinformation-any-candidates-for-the-darwin-awards#latest
You would think that a hole in my colon would have clued them in that I am better off without it. Doctor even wrote me a "note". lol
They're finally starting to come around, because I haven't had any of the stomach trouble I was having before. I had to miss family functions, or go home early because I hurt. I'm not doing gluten free to follow a fad, I'm doing it because I have to.
To be honest, I think it's all the chemicals they spray on wheat these days, and how it's processed that's the problem for me...and for others that are seeing issues.1 -
Many families are systems designed to perpetuate dysfunction. Just saying...6
-
I have been bringing dishes that are keto friendly, but not obviously so. That way, no one questions me. A big yummy salad with full fat dressing, and maybe a SF cheesecake (shhh, don't tell em its SF and they won't even know!) and you have something safe to eat. It is hard when family is involved, especially when food is involved. Some people take it personally when you don't eat food they prepared for you. My mom discovered she is a celiac 10 years ago, so thankfully, she understands food limits. She still makes my husband and boys her famous pecan pie and biscuits even though she can't eat any of it. It is hard to make changes and not step on any toes in the process. Good luck!0
-
Cryren8972 wrote: »cstehansen wrote: »Cryren8972 wrote: »Also, I have to be gluten free, because I've been diagnosed as intolerant. Even ended up in the ER with a hole in my colon.
I had family members bring by literature explaining that gluten free was terrible for you. Dropped it off...at my house...with my daughter.
When we go out to eat with them, they always want to go to Italian restaurants, or fish camps. I go, and order gluten free, low carb. They never say anything, but I can FEEL the disapproval. Oh well, I feel SO much better and it's just not worth it to me.
I do know how you feel though. Hugs!
Not sure if you saw this from another thread, but it could be helpful in responding to your family:Here's one on the chimerical connection between diabetes and would-be "gluten deficiency"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/gluten-free-diets-may-be-tied-to-an-increased-risk-of-type-2-diabetes/2017/03/13/4ce6dc26-059f-11e7-ad5b-d22680e18d10_story.html
Antidote::
http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2017/03/gluten-diabetes-headlines-get-wrong/
It is from this thread:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10346123/official-diabetes-diet-misinformation-any-candidates-for-the-darwin-awards#latest
You would think that a hole in my colon would have clued them in that I am better off without it. Doctor even wrote me a "note". lol
They're finally starting to come around, because I haven't had any of the stomach trouble I was having before. I had to miss family functions, or go home early because I hurt. I'm not doing gluten free to follow a fad, I'm doing it because I have to.
To be honest, I think it's all the chemicals they spray on wheat these days, and how it's processed that's the problem for me...and for others that are seeing issues.
My easy answer for anyone who thinks grain is healthy is to simply ask if they know what farmers do to make a cow or pig fat. The answer - feed it grain. The next question is about making a person fat. Again, the answer is feed him/her grain.
edit to add: This may be easier for me since I live in Texas and many here know a heckuva lot more about raising cattle and pigs than in most places.4 -
My mother raised pigs.
But I really shouldn't talk about my brothers like that, they've turned out relatively ok.....
9 -
GaleHawkins wrote: »
Humans tend to think "If it is Different then it must be Bad".
LOL - I read that and thought of The Croods movie.
1 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »caroldavison332 wrote: »As I understand it, you went to THEIR HOUSE and they SUPPLIED FOOD, including steak and Ceaser salad that you could eat, and you commented negatively about the dessert's ingredients impact on you, and they responded. You sound rude to me. And its none of your business how much cake they eat. You are not the keo-vangelist.
Next time, invite them over and you provide the food. Or bring food that you can eat to their house.
Over your weigh in scale, keep a graph of your weight loss over time and post photos in a bathing suit monthly tracking your progress. You can also bring these with you when you visit, but leave them in the car until requested by them. THESE documents will be the keto-vangelist without you saying a word.
@caroldavison332 - I think there as a bit of missing context here. I imagine her family probably said something when she didn't take cake, or every time they talk, or just kept giving her a look, or anything else she didn't spell out that could be presumed. Besides, within a family, generally, anything can be a leaping off point. I didn't take it that she was lecturing her family, but more responding to being put on the spot.
Let's please remember to keep it gentle, here. No need to call names. Remember that written words tend to take on a tone based on the reader's perspective or a presumed experience. There was not necessarily any rude intention or meaning behind her post. She may have even deleted a sentence for length and not noticed it affected context, etc.
I agree that she shouldn't pass judgment on her family, nor should they on her. Thank you for the reminder to stop and look at our own actions.
Thanks, @KnitOrMiss.
3 -
I have a middle ground to this. My immediate family...husband and children are supportive. They don't follow the same woe, but they eat in addition to it and support me. My mom supports me completely, she's always wanted me to lose weight, so whatever gets me there makes her happy. However, my dad and stepmom just don't get it. They aren't mean about it, they are just oblivious. I've told them in not eating carbs, and the last time they came to visit, they brought stuffed shells for dinner. They had no idea why I wouldn't eat it. They weren't mad, just confused. So, I have to explain myself over and over again.
Holidays are worse. My uncle and cousins are like your parents and practically berate me for not eating "normally" while they stuff themselves to the brim.
It is what it is. Knowing what I'm going into helps. I just eat what I can and do my best to ignore those who are ignorant. Good luck with your folks, I hope they come around and become more understanding!
-Shannon1 -
Ignorant is great word here. They cannot and most of the time will not try to understand this WOE. It is a totally different concept to how we were raised, and how the USDA, doctors, dieticians, trainers, fitness magazines/sites publish the recommended WOE. The first thing everyone thinks of when I tell them my diet is that I will die of a heart attack and my cholesterol is out of control. They cannot fathom that the body produces 3,000mgs of cholesterol on its own and if ingest 300mgs the body simply regulates making less of its own. Its a struggle.3
-
I mentioned in passing to my mother-in-law that I was doing a LCHF diet. She warned me to be weary of a diet that promotes eating fat. She's terrified of it. Of course, she grew up learning that fat was bad for you. I just don't mention it to her any more. There's a ton of dietary misinformation out there, and everyone has their own opinions. Ignore the haters.
My doctor recommended Keto because my last blood tests show I'm prediabetic and with my family history of diabetes she said I needed to cut out the carbs and sugar. The sad thing is, the American Diabetes Association guidelines say you should get 45-60 grams of carbs per meal and 20-30 per snack! A man who works in my building is diabetic and strictly adheres to the ADA guidelines. He's always preaching that I'm not eating enough carbs because keto is lower than what the ADA suggests. I've learned to just tune him out.
This morning, I had to attend a breakfast event for my job. It was a buffet, and going into it I was worried there would be nothing there for me to eat. I bypassed the pastries, hashbrowns, yogurt, fruit and granola and went straight for the cheesy scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage. Score! I did get a few looks from people who were eating their sad yogurt and bagels. I kind of felt bad for them. My breakfast was way better, and it was what the doctor ordered.
10 -
@KaseyDH83 That is awesome! Yeah people think that we are depriving ourselves when in reality we have opened up a whole bunch of possibilities that those on the ADA will not be able to enjoy. I cant believe a diabetic is not following this WOE, but some people (and one in my own family who is diabetic) think they know better than their own body. Thats what this WOE has done for me. Taught me how the body processes food and how it adjusts for its needs. GREAT JOB keep it up.2
-
The only people in my family who are the problem are my sister-in-law and to a lesser extent my brother who are both vegan.
I don't really have to answer. All our family gatherings are at my parents' house and they have a pool. I just have to suggest we go for a swim. Low(er) carb got my weight off. Keto got me a 6 pack for the first time in my life as a 46 yo. My brother (who is 5 years younger) prefers to keep his shirt on in the pool now. Hmmm....I wonder which WOE works better.....
If you do want an answer, I suggest this site https://www.virtahealth.com/research for those who think the ADA recommendation is the way to make diabetes better.3 -
Eating for life vs death is really changing my health markers and Outlook on life for the better.
Yet 3 years ago my health was crashing from a life time of carb abuse. Since diabetes is a leading cause of diabetes in the process of earning my OD degree we should have covered how to eat to prevent that cause of vision loss it would seem.
Diet never came up that I remember.0 -
@GaleHawkins do you want to review 1st line of that 2-line paragraph, at all...?. Since diabetes is a leading cause of diabetes...0
-
GaleHawkins wrote: »Eating for life vs death is really changing my health markers and Outlook on life for the better.
Yet 3 years ago my health was crashing from a life time of carb abuse. Since diet can be a leading cause of diabetes in the process of earning my OD degree we should have covered how to eat to prevent that cause of vision loss it would seem.
Diet never came up that I remember.
Thanks @AlexandraCarlyle for catching that I replaced the first 'diabetes' with 'diet'.
2 -
One of my daughters, who has always been weight conscious, eats healthy in a MCLF(moderate carb, low fat) sort of way, works out regularly and has kept her great shape and bounced right back after having had a baby, is one of my biggest critic. She thinks any "diet" that excludes an entire food group is just wrong and a crazy fad. She has seen the success I have had with this WOE, and she has now seen me struggle and put weight back when I incorporate more carbs back into my diet. She doesn't badger me, but she's very skeptical and just doesn't get it or agree. I just say that what has worked for her hasn't for me, and that this is what does. She has also never had lose weight, or had an issue with abusing carbs. She can eat half a cookie and that's enough, a couple of M & M's and done!! While I will obsess over the remaining M & M's until I know every last one has past by my lips! Haha!
One thing I notice is she eats frequently and get hangry if she goes to long without eating. While I can go hour and hours and don't need a thing. I don't say a word, I don't think she makes the connection that it is due to my WOE. But if what she is doing is what works for her she doesn't need my advice and I just want the same respect for my choice.4 -
PaulaJSchiller wrote: »One of my daughters, who has always been weight conscious, eats healthy in a MCLF(moderate carb, low fat) sort of way, works out regularly and has kept her great shape and bounced right back after having had a baby, is one of my biggest critic. She thinks any "diet" that excludes an entire food group is just wrong and a crazy fad. She has seen the success I have had with this WOE, and she has now seen me struggle and put weight back when I incorporate more carbs back into my diet. She doesn't badger me, but she's very skeptical and just doesn't get it or agree. I just say that what has worked for her hasn't for me, and that this is what does. She has also never had lose weight, or had an issue with abusing carbs. She can eat half a cookie and that's enough, a couple of M & M's and done!! While I will obsess over the remaining M & M's until I know every last one has past by my lips! Haha!
One thing I notice is she eats frequently and get hangry if she goes to long without eating. While I can go hour and hours and don't need a thing. I don't say a word, I don't think she makes the connection that it is due to my WOE. But if what she is doing is what works for her she doesn't need my advice and I just want the same respect for my choice.
If it is different it is Bad way of thinking has been programmed into most all of us be it religion, WOE, brand of car, etc. Keep up your good success.
People at can eat 2 M&M's and walk away will understand those like some of us. The only good bags of M&M's use to be Empty bags.
2 -
PaulaJSchiller wrote: »She thinks any "diet" that excludes an entire food group is just wrong and a crazy fad. She has seen the success I have had with this WOE, and she has now seen me struggle and put weight back when I incorporate more carbs back into my diet. She doesn't badger me, but she's very skeptical and just doesn't get it or agree.
We often hear the mantra, "moderation," even among those suffering from diabetes, celiac disease, addiction......
"Moderation" is one of the most-abused, worn-out words in the personal health pantheon. Even when it means something different than "I don't want to not eat/do/drink/ something I like," it's rarely clear what in fact it does mean, if anything.
Robb Wolf's website offers:
https://robbwolf.com/2017/01/05/why-wont-we-tell-diabetics-the-truth/The “everything in moderation” mantra, and how we need to eat less meat, less fat, and more whole grains, is a pervasive theme drilled into young dietitians, and spread to the public through our dietary guidelines. This information is making people sick.4 -
<slap>0
