My experiences re: food addiction
LizinLowell
Posts: 208 Member
I went low carb the first time Jan 1, 2003 and since then I've been grain-free. I've felt so much better & lost weight. I did let my carbs creep back up over the years with fruits and honey & maple syrup & the weight started creeping back up too, so I went back to basics & started Keto March 8th.
So far so good! I'm down 12 lbs. I'm 5'8" & 200lbs, I have a slender frame so can carry a lot of weight w/out looking like it & losing 12 pounds didn't make a huge difference in my clothes fitting but it's starting to show. The main thing is the cravings stopping & hunger control, that feels like freedom as someone else said on another thread.
But here's the thing I wanted to talk about: addiction. Because carbs are an addiction for me. I have always used them to self medicate and in 2003, when I first went on induction at 260lbs, I became very depressed because even though I lost 60lbs over several months, I lost my coping mechanism.
I tried many healthy activities & methods to substitute for the loss but it was so strange that food was no longer a lift. My meals tasted great, filled me up & didn't make me sick anymore, but food also didn't make me "high". My moods evened out and though I didn't plunge into sugar-fueled depression anymore, I also didn't get a boost. Everything felt very, very medium.
I'm fine now, I don't need any tools or advice, I'm an old timer, lol, but I bring it up for the newbies because if you used to use food to soothe, to help with boredom & frustration, I think this aspect can be very disorienting. You go low carb & finally have control over your addiction! Maybe you are losing weight like you haven't been able to before, victory! But there was a reason you were addicted & now food is no longer a drug. It's a strange loss.
I guess I'm just writing this to send a hug if you are achieving all your goals but also sort of mourning the thing that used to torment you but also gave you a lift, even if it was ultimately destructive. It's complex, isn't it?
So far so good! I'm down 12 lbs. I'm 5'8" & 200lbs, I have a slender frame so can carry a lot of weight w/out looking like it & losing 12 pounds didn't make a huge difference in my clothes fitting but it's starting to show. The main thing is the cravings stopping & hunger control, that feels like freedom as someone else said on another thread.
But here's the thing I wanted to talk about: addiction. Because carbs are an addiction for me. I have always used them to self medicate and in 2003, when I first went on induction at 260lbs, I became very depressed because even though I lost 60lbs over several months, I lost my coping mechanism.
I tried many healthy activities & methods to substitute for the loss but it was so strange that food was no longer a lift. My meals tasted great, filled me up & didn't make me sick anymore, but food also didn't make me "high". My moods evened out and though I didn't plunge into sugar-fueled depression anymore, I also didn't get a boost. Everything felt very, very medium.
I'm fine now, I don't need any tools or advice, I'm an old timer, lol, but I bring it up for the newbies because if you used to use food to soothe, to help with boredom & frustration, I think this aspect can be very disorienting. You go low carb & finally have control over your addiction! Maybe you are losing weight like you haven't been able to before, victory! But there was a reason you were addicted & now food is no longer a drug. It's a strange loss.
I guess I'm just writing this to send a hug if you are achieving all your goals but also sort of mourning the thing that used to torment you but also gave you a lift, even if it was ultimately destructive. It's complex, isn't it?
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Nicely put.
Congratulations on your progress so far.0 -
@nvmomketo Thank you. Maybe this experience is unique to me or I'm not looking in the right places, but I don't see it mentioned much, that weird feeling of bereavement when letting go of a bad habit. It's so confusing to feel sad as you are achieving your longed-for goals!
Food addiction was so much of my life! After those rough first 7 days in 2003, it was like a radio in my head that had been playing nothing but ads for carbs my whole life suddenly shut off & it was so quiet! It was a relief for sure. But totally different than I was used to.2 -
A lot of people seem to have addictive tendencies towards carbs (I'm one) but it leads to unpleasant discussion so people just keep quiet. Very nicely put, though.3
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There is also a legitimate disorder regarding serotonin, norepinephrine uptake disorders, etc. So if you get truly depressed, anxious, moody, or completely out of sorts, ALL PEOPLE, please do not ignore it. Nearly all of our mood related neurotransmitters are converted and such IN THE GUT. And anyone with metabolic syndrome/obesity/other related disorders has a compromised gut to some degree.
So if the only reason you'd been staying level is because you were using enough carbs to produce enough serotonin even in the compromised environment, it can take quite a bit of time to get level again, if you even can do so without direct supplemental intervention.
Most of these issues are what lead to addiction in the chemical sense in the first place. So please, research, don't just chalk it up to age or changes... You don't have to live like that.
Congrats, @sixaround1 on your progresses! Thanks for sharing. I wrote a blog here on MFP a while back about my own experiences on this topic. I may go dig it up to see how much it still applies.2 -
sixaround1! Thank you for sharing your experiences with the grief following abstinance. Hardly anyone talks much about it. I agree, letting go and staying let go from shall I say 'false friends' that could be many things; gambling, shopping, sugar, binges, coffee, even the substances of hard drugs, leaving any of them brings some emptiness and grief. Filling the emptiness probably means surviving at first then finding a new life, or at least a fresh approach to how we will begin to deal with life's ups and downs minus our false friends.3
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Thank you @KnitOrMiss such good points about the chemistry of it!
@Gamliela & @LowCarb4Me2016 So well stated, thank you! I fear if it doesn't get talked about, folks will suffer even more so I bring it up. Thanks for joining the discussion.1 -
sixaround1 wrote: »@nvmomketo Thank you. Maybe this experience is unique to me or I'm not looking in the right places, but I don't see it mentioned much, that weird feeling of bereavement when letting go of a bad habit. It's so confusing to feel sad as you are achieving your longed-for goals!
Food addiction was so much of my life! After those rough first 7 days in 2003, it was like a radio in my head that had been playing nothing but ads for carbs my whole life suddenly shut off & it was so quiet! It was a relief for sure. But totally different than I was used to.
I still tend to drift back towards carbs for comfort. Last year my health took a dip and my carb level was rising without any conscious thought.
And when I am stressed or tired, I tend to reach for carby foods. Even when very low carb (under 20g) I tend towards "high" carb foods like nuts. Stopping this is something I continue to work on.0 -
Re. the grief of letting go, I don't know if it's addiction or just habit, but I definitely feel it.
I used to drink Diet Dr. Pepper like water. IIRC Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper was my drug of choice, though regular diet dr. pepper would do. I'd drink 6 to 8 cans a day. I stopped drinking any soda back in 2008, so it's been nearly a decade and I still miss that stuff.
Ditto, my go-to when life piles up ontop of me, would be a bottle or two of wine. We have a lot of nice Rieslings and Gewurztraminers here in Ontario.
I haven't drank in over a year, and haven't enjoyed wine in longer than that, but it's still the first thing I think of when my day turns to *kittens*. Which it has today. And I'm sitting here thinking to myself, damn, I wish I still drank - except not really, I don't want to trash my week or month with a wine-and-cheese-party-for-one binge like the old days.1 -
sixaround1 wrote: »@nvmomketo Thank you. Maybe this experience is unique to me or I'm not looking in the right places, but I don't see it mentioned much, that weird feeling of bereavement when letting go of a bad habit. It's so confusing to feel sad as you are achieving your longed-for goals!
Food addiction was so much of my life! After those rough first 7 days in 2003, it was like a radio in my head that had been playing nothing but ads for carbs my whole life suddenly shut off & it was so quiet! It was a relief for sure. But totally different than I was used to.
I still tend to drift back towards carbs for comfort. Last year my health took a dip and my carb level was rising without any conscious thought.
And when I am stressed or tired, I tend to reach for carby foods. Even when very low carb (under 20g) I tend towards "high" carb foods like nuts. Stopping this is something I continue to work on.
I find myself wanting carbs for comfort to. I no longer have physical cravings, but I do still have psychological cravings.0 -
"Supplements for low GABA (stiff and tense muscles, anxious, panic attacks, use sugar/wine to relax)
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Fab information: https://www.everywomanover29.com/blog/amino-acids-pyroluria-supplements/
Please be sure to do your own research and don't just jump in with supplements, but I personally strongly believe in the power of these aminos when used properly...1 -
You really hit the nail on the head with this one. I am struggling with the fact that so many of our celebrations are focused around food in addition to the fact that so many of us use food to soothe. This is a tough transition, especially where our relationships with our family are concerned. I had been doing great on keto in the summer and early fall and then when our first anniversary came around my husband said he would be upset if I didn't have anniversary cake. What should have been one slice of cake (a small transgression) turned into 1/2 of a 9 in cake and set off my cravings. Sadly, this happened during a week when I had a minor surgery and couldn't work out to help ease the cravings and I allowed myself to get into a very dangerous spiral. I've gained back 35 lbs since November (with a few 'good' weeks here and there) and am finally in a good mindset to get myself started again. Three days in and I already feel so much better. And my gym bag is in the car for this afternoon. I have made the decision to treat this like the addition it is and take my recovery seriously and put myself first.3
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I also go back to this link that was posted in another post this week: https://www.ketovangelist.com/the-problem-with-yummy/2
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You really hit the nail on the head with this one. I am struggling with the fact that so many of our celebrations are focused around food in addition to the fact that so many of us use food to soothe. This is a tough transition, especially where our relationships with our family are concerned. I had been doing great on keto in the summer and early fall and then when our first anniversary came around my husband said he would be upset if I didn't have anniversary cake. What should have been one slice of cake (a small transgression) turned into 1/2 of a 9 in cake and set off my cravings. Sadly, this happened during a week when I had a minor surgery and couldn't work out to help ease the cravings and I allowed myself to get into a very dangerous spiral. I've gained back 35 lbs since November (with a few 'good' weeks here and there) and am finally in a good mindset to get myself started again. Three days in and I already feel so much better. And my gym bag is in the car for this afternoon. I have made the decision to treat this like the addition it is and take my recovery seriously and put myself first.
@StacyChrz - a friend shared this within a post about transition stress, just in case they help at all...
Some helpful links
http://toomuchonherplate.com/time-to-do-something-else-transitions-and-emotional-eating/
http://toomuchonherplate.com/punctuation-overeating/
http://www.overeatingrecovery.com/embracing-emotions/do-you-turn-to-food-when-youre-in-a-transition-2/
I found the whole concept NEW to me and fascinating.
Good luck on your continued recovery, mentally and physically.1 -
I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences! We are all different but we have common threads. I feel for anyone struggling with this addiction because it is real & it is really tough to kick.
Especially, as was said, since sugar is so everpresent and accepted in celebrations & holidays & there is so much pressure to participate. And so much nostalgia! I really mourn at Easter because that was always my favorite sugar high. But now I just let myself have the sad feelings & talk about them with my kind husband & they pass on through after awhile.
So as I said I've been at this more or less for 14 years and it was many years of sticking to my guns before friends & inlaws eventually stopped trying to get me to "loosen up & enjoy myself" & eat sweets.
I would say things like "Oh I've eaten enough sweets for three lifetimes already, thanks!" And "NOT eating the sweets is my treat since they make me feel so ill."
And then folks say "Oh you're being so good" which I HATE because it automatically puts you in a position like you are judging them for indulging which I never would! You do you! I'm being me, we are separate human beings.
I appreciate the links to articles on these topics too.
The last time I let too many carbs slip back in to my life I didn't have a group like this for support & I fooled myself way too long that I was handling things ok. I feel like being able to check in here will be just the thing to keep me on track because you all GET IT. So thanks, everyone 4 -
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@StacyChrz - a friend shared this within a post about transition stress, just in case they help at all...
Some helpful links
http://toomuchonherplate.com/time-to-do-something-else-transitions-and-emotional-eating/
http://toomuchonherplate.com/punctuation-overeating/
http://www.overeatingrecovery.com/embracing-emotions/do-you-turn-to-food-when-youre-in-a-transition-2/
I found the whole concept NEW to me and fascinating.
Good luck on your continued recovery, mentally and physically.[/quote]
Wow, this is so me. My worst time for eating is when I'm in the car between work and home. And then even when I've eaten healthy all week transitioning from work week to weekend it another tough one. Thank you for sharing the links!!
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I'm scared of wanting to go back to carbs, because right now I'm relying on cigarettes. I'm scared of what will happen when I quit smoking on May 1st.1
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@hmikkola92, it sounds as if you have concerns about handling your addiction challenges - have you thought about a sympathetic group or therapist to lend support to your efforts. ??
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@hmikkola92, it sounds as if you have concerns about handling your addiction challenges - have you thought about a sympathetic group or therapist to lend support to your efforts. ??
Yes I think I will do that. And I need to find an anxiety medication that actually works. Cipralex did nothing but dry me out.0 -
Yes I think I will do that. And I need to find an anxiety medication that actually works. Cipralex did nothing but dry me out.
I recently increased my Effoxor from 37.5 mg to 75 mg. I feel like it's helping and still not a very high dose. You might want to talk to your doctor about it?1 -
Anyone interested in setting up a May challenge along the lines of the ideas in the links provided by @KnitOrMiss ? I thought I was poor regarding my 'routines' but I think instead I am about handling 'transitions' and I'm always delaying/distracting/avoiding with a nibble or a sip. It's a pattern that keeps the weight on and constrains my productivity (and joy)3
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ty @RalfLott1
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hmikkola92 wrote: »@hmikkola92, it sounds as if you have concerns about handling your addiction challenges - have you thought about a sympathetic group or therapist to lend support to your efforts. ??
Yes I think I will do that. And I need to find an anxiety medication that actually works. Cipralex did nothing but dry me out.
@hmikkola92 - My husband has had good luck with Lexipro.1
