Being referred for surgery . . . . :|
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acorsaut89
Posts: 1,147 Member
So this morning, I went to my doctor for a regular female checkup and it turned into something completely different. I live in Ontario, Canada, for reference. He mentioned to me that the Ontario government has a completely free bariatric surgery program for people who qualify (specific age, weight and height along with additional health issues). It's totally free - the closest program is about an hour away from me . .. so completely doable, and not a huge deal.
I am still very hesitant. I said yes, refer me to the program so I can go through some information sessions and get some more information but I'm really hesitant. My biggest was 350 lbs, my lowest was 250lbs but I've creeped back up for about 275 lately (my own fault). I feel like this is a copout and I'm saying well I can't do this myself, and I totally ate myself to 275lbs and I've been slacking so here, government fix this problem.
I know people have had fantastic results, and I'm only 28 so he really thinks I'm a great candidate for the program because it will add a whole lot more quality of life for me but I'm just hesitant. Any advice or information or experiences did you have? I know I'll have to give up certain foods and I will struggle with that, for a while I'm sure, but being only 28 is it worth it? Does it really add that much more to your life?
Any information you have would be greatly appreciated . . . I'm a little scared and I've never had surgery so I guess this whole thing is just really scary for me. Also a little scary that I'm a candidate for this when I've worked so hard to lose the weight I have . . . I am not degrading anyone's weight but I just never thought I was "big enough" for the surgery you know?
I am still very hesitant. I said yes, refer me to the program so I can go through some information sessions and get some more information but I'm really hesitant. My biggest was 350 lbs, my lowest was 250lbs but I've creeped back up for about 275 lately (my own fault). I feel like this is a copout and I'm saying well I can't do this myself, and I totally ate myself to 275lbs and I've been slacking so here, government fix this problem.
I know people have had fantastic results, and I'm only 28 so he really thinks I'm a great candidate for the program because it will add a whole lot more quality of life for me but I'm just hesitant. Any advice or information or experiences did you have? I know I'll have to give up certain foods and I will struggle with that, for a while I'm sure, but being only 28 is it worth it? Does it really add that much more to your life?
Any information you have would be greatly appreciated . . . I'm a little scared and I've never had surgery so I guess this whole thing is just really scary for me. Also a little scary that I'm a candidate for this when I've worked so hard to lose the weight I have . . . I am not degrading anyone's weight but I just never thought I was "big enough" for the surgery you know?
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My surgeon told me that without surgery, an obese person has a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on their own and keeping it off for just 5 years. Our bodies are extremely capable of getting us to regain. It lowers your metabolism and raises your hunger to get you back to the higher weight it wants you to be (setpoint theory). Surgery is the only thing available now that seems to reset your setpoint to a lower weight so you don't have to fight so hard to keep it off. Mind you, it's still a lot of hard work, but your chances of keeping it off are significantly improved with surgery.
I was very anti-surgery for years, but after losing and regaining up to 170 pounds 3 times in my life, I knew I didn't have it in me to face 2-4% success odds one more time. I needed help with maintenance. I needed to not be able to eat a large pizza by myself anymore. It's a lot to get used to, but I'm so glad I took the chance and did it.5 -
My surgeon told me that without surgery, an obese person has a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on their own and keeping it off for just 5 years. Our bodies are extremely capable of getting us to regain. It lowers your metabolism and raises your hunger to get you back to the higher weight it wants you to be (setpoint theory). Surgery is the only thing available now that seems to reset your setpoint to a lower weight so you don't have to fight so hard to keep it off. Mind you, it's still a lot of hard work, but your chances of keeping it off are significantly improved with surgery.
I was very anti-surgery for years, but after losing and regaining up to 170 pounds 3 times in my life, I knew I didn't have it in me to face 2-4% success odds one more time. I needed help with maintenance. I needed to not be able to eat a large pizza by myself anymore. It's a lot to get used to, but I'm so glad I took the chance and did it.
Really? Maximum of 4% without surgery? That's crazy . . . I can't believe that.
This will likely only get worse. It could get better, it will likely get worse though.0 -
My surgeon told me that without surgery, an obese person has a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on their own and keeping it off for just 5 years. Our bodies are extremely capable of getting us to regain. It lowers your metabolism and raises your hunger to get you back to the higher weight it wants you to be (setpoint theory). Surgery is the only thing available now that seems to reset your setpoint to a lower weight so you don't have to fight so hard to keep it off. Mind you, it's still a lot of hard work, but your chances of keeping it off are significantly improved with surgery.
I was very anti-surgery for years, but after losing and regaining up to 170 pounds 3 times in my life, I knew I didn't have it in me to face 2-4% success odds one more time. I needed help with maintenance. I needed to not be able to eat a large pizza by myself anymore. It's a lot to get used to, but I'm so glad I took the chance and did it.
All of this. I asked myself if I could lose the weight on my own and keep it off. My honest answer was "maybe". Maybe was not enough for me. I was going into my 50s morbidly obese, and I just didn't want to waste any more of my life being unhealthy. I wasn't living the way I wanted to, and now I can. It hasn't always been easy, and it seems the further out from surgery I am, the more challenging it is, but really, if we want to be healthy we will always have to be mindful, with or without surgery. Surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made. I have great health and a great quality of life now. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.4 -
My surgeon told me that without surgery, an obese person has a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on their own and keeping it off for just 5 years. Our bodies are extremely capable of getting us to regain. It lowers your metabolism and raises your hunger to get you back to the higher weight it wants you to be (setpoint theory). Surgery is the only thing available now that seems to reset your setpoint to a lower weight so you don't have to fight so hard to keep it off. Mind you, it's still a lot of hard work, but your chances of keeping it off are significantly improved with surgery.
I was very anti-surgery for years, but after losing and regaining up to 170 pounds 3 times in my life, I knew I didn't have it in me to face 2-4% success odds one more time. I needed help with maintenance. I needed to not be able to eat a large pizza by myself anymore. It's a lot to get used to, but I'm so glad I took the chance and did it.
All of this. I asked myself if I could lose the weight on my own and keep it off. My honest answer was "maybe". Maybe was not enough for me. I was going into my 50s morbidly obese, and I just didn't want to waste any more of my life being unhealthy. I wasn't living the way I wanted to, and now I can. It hasn't always been easy, and it seems the further out from surgery I am, the more challenging it is, but really, if we want to be healthy we will always have to be mindful, with or without surgery. Surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made. I have great health and a great quality of life now. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
That is what I am scared of the most. If I'm honest I know I've lost 100lbs on my own - and then gained 25 of it back - but what if I can't get anymore out of it on my own? What if I can't?
Still being 100lbs out from a healthy weight means my joints are suffering; I could be looking at a knee or hip or both replacement in 10 years if this continues and that scares the crap out of me. What scares me the most, though, is that I don't have it in me to keep losing and what if I screw up again? What if this doesn't work? What if I can't change? Do I have the determination to make even more changes than I already have? I'm very scared.0 -
Your concerns are very common and so is your hesitation. I was super nervous about surgery and had the same concerns, but I knew what I wanted my future to be like. Surgery works but you have to work with it. Take your time, do your homework and really think about whether you want to make this commitment. Ask any questions you have, the folks in this group are great, and we have been where you are!0
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My surgeon told me that without surgery, an obese person has a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on their own and keeping it off for just 5 years. Our bodies are extremely capable of getting us to regain. It lowers your metabolism and raises your hunger to get you back to the higher weight it wants you to be (setpoint theory). Surgery is the only thing available now that seems to reset your setpoint to a lower weight so you don't have to fight so hard to keep it off. Mind you, it's still a lot of hard work, but your chances of keeping it off are significantly improved with surgery.
I was very anti-surgery for years, but after losing and regaining up to 170 pounds 3 times in my life, I knew I didn't have it in me to face 2-4% success odds one more time. I needed help with maintenance. I needed to not be able to eat a large pizza by myself anymore. It's a lot to get used to, but I'm so glad I took the chance and did it.
All of this. I asked myself if I could lose the weight on my own and keep it off. My honest answer was "maybe". Maybe was not enough for me. I was going into my 50s morbidly obese, and I just didn't want to waste any more of my life being unhealthy. I wasn't living the way I wanted to, and now I can. It hasn't always been easy, and it seems the further out from surgery I am, the more challenging it is, but really, if we want to be healthy we will always have to be mindful, with or without surgery. Surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made. I have great health and a great quality of life now. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
This paragraph from @garber6th was the most profound thing I read here in 2014 as I was approaching surgery. My history of regain was the most scary part of trying to do it on my own again. I have a chart of my weight since 1999 as one of my profile pictures and finally got right with the idea that I needed help to break that cycle.
I jumped into my program's pre-surgery plan with gusto and lost a bunch of weight prior to surgery. Your recent weight loss success will work well with that. Every pound you lose prior to surgery will be one fewer pound you need to lose in the 'honeymoon period' for the first 9-12 months after surgery. I got to my goal during that time and, while adjusting to maintenance is hard, I think it has been easier that trying to lose "those last 20-60 pounds" is.
Add a bunch of friends here that are in many different stages of the process and you can get a glimpse into the life at that stage.
Good luck and get ready for your new life if you choose this path!
Rob
(More details of my story here: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10376334/two-years )
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You're young and you live in a country that cares about it's people. When i was 28 I probably weighed same as you. 15 years later I was over 400lbs. Take advantage of this unique opportunity. You will probably regret it if you dont.5
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I get it. All of it. I will give you the same advice I had. Do the program, get the information, learn everything you can and then decide. You don't have to have the surgery.
The surgery is far from a copout. It is a lot of work and an entirely different lifestyle. It is not for everyone. I am 5 1/2 weeks post op and there is nothing easy about it. Effective? Yes. Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely! For me. Only you know what is right for you.
I am also in Canada, my program was in Edmonton. From the beginning of my classes to my surgery date was 2yrs. I told myself I would lose the excess weight during the program and not need the surgery. Even with the help of a dietician, psychologist, and an RN I still was only able to lose and keep off 26 lbs in 18 months. By the time I met with my surgeon 6 months ago I knew surgery was right for me.
Whatever you decide is right for you I wish you well. Take care.2 -
Surgery was the best thing I have done for my health. It's a tool that has and will continue to help me! I wish I had done it years ago!
I agree with everyone's comments. Best of luck with your decision (I hope it's 'yes')
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Aztec4Life wrote: »You're young and you live in a country that cares about it's people. When i was 28 I probably weighed same as you. 15 years later I was over 400lbs. Take advantage of this unique opportunity. You will probably regret it if you dont.
I know this could be an opportunity that is great, but it may not be right for me which is why I have to consider all the options. It's definitely a great tool, but may not be right for everyone.
I am the lightest weight I've been since I was 20 . . . which, even after gaining 25 of it back, is saying something. So I'm on the right trend it's just stalled. I don't know - I'm considering it but very much on the fence still as to whether it's right for me.1 -
I struggled with my weight the last 20 years and kept saying to myself I can do this on my own. The problem was I would lose some weight but then gain it back and even more. I just hit my goal weight this morning and I am 38 weeks out from surgery. I don't think this journey is for everyone. I think you need to be committed and ready to change your life. I was at that point and it has been the best decision for me. I agree with others who said go through the program and see if you think it is for you. Read the message boards and do the research. There are some great people on here and they have a wealth of knowledge. I learned as much as I could before surgery in order to be as prepared as possible, but it is a lot of work but so worth the pay off. I can not describe what it feels like to have my life back.
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Here in the uk we have to go through tier 3 before surgery is considered which soulds similar to the programme theyve reccomended you start in
We had access to phycologists, dietitians, physios and bariatric nurses to help us learn why we over eat, how to set calorie goals, help identify movement issues and overcome them to put more exercise in place etc
Only after that did we decide along with them weather to go ahead for surgery (still a wait with more appointments)
I went with a friend. I chose surgery she chose not to. We both had the same amount of support and input over 18 months
Unfortunately even thou she had lost a few stone when i had the surgery she chosr to give up entirely and stop trying. Shes regained it all plus a few extra stone (last i heard she was 26 stone, we dont talk much now as along with another friend she said some very mean things about my weight loss and my parenting)1 -
I was in the same mind-set as you. I'd done it on my own before and I felt like surgery was a cop-out and the easy way (for me). My husband had it done and at that time, I started the process with the idea that I didn't have to have the surgery. I gave myself 6 months to try my hardest, and learn what I needed to learn. About 3 weeks before I was able to schedule my surgery, I realized that this was a tool I needed. I was angry about it, I was frustrated, and hated myself for being too weak to do it on my own. By the time my surgery rolled around, I had realized that all of my hangups with the surgery were ridiculous. For example, I wouldn't be able to eat a whole pizza anymore ever again. Who needs to do that?!
Surgery is not the easy way out, it's not a cop-out. You have to put in just as much work, maybe more. It's definitely not for everyone. You can still regain weight if you don't continue to put the effort in. You're never going to be "normal" again, so you have to adjust to what your new normal is. Like others have said, go through the program and take that time to really learn and try on your own. Really be honest with yourself with all of the reasons you're resistant to the idea. Examine all of your hangups and sticking points and write them down. List out all of the reasons you don't need the surgery. At the end of the program, make your decision. Don't try to make it now.
For me, it was the best decision I have made for my health. I truly wish I had done it sooner.1 -
chubby_checkers wrote: »I was in the same mind-set as you. I'd done it on my own before and I felt like surgery was a cop-out and the easy way (for me). My husband had it done and at that time, I started the process with the idea that I didn't have to have the surgery. I gave myself 6 months to try my hardest, and learn what I needed to learn. About 3 weeks before I was able to schedule my surgery, I realized that this was a tool I needed. I was angry about it, I was frustrated, and hated myself for being too weak to do it on my own. By the time my surgery rolled around, I had realized that all of my hangups with the surgery were ridiculous. For example, I wouldn't be able to eat a whole pizza anymore ever again. Who needs to do that?!
Surgery is not the easy way out, it's not a cop-out. You have to put in just as much work, maybe more. It's definitely not for everyone. You can still regain weight if you don't continue to put the effort in. You're never going to be "normal" again, so you have to adjust to what your new normal is. Like others have said, go through the program and take that time to really learn and try on your own. Really be honest with yourself with all of the reasons you're resistant to the idea. Examine all of your hangups and sticking points and write them down. List out all of the reasons you don't need the surgery. At the end of the program, make your decision. Don't try to make it now.
For me, it was the best decision I have made for my health. I truly wish I had done it sooner.
Thanks for sharing! I also feel for me, it would be a cop out. I don't think it is for anyone else and I would never say you're taking the easy way out . . . but I almost feel like for me, this is "giving me the fish" for the rest of my life - or well, half a fish lol - and I'd prefer to learn how to fish myself. I am definitely struggling with my thoughts, but have decided to go through with the information sessions and such and see what information I can learn, and take from it. It will be about a year, from start to finish, until I have to make a decision so I figure I will see what I can do in a year.
I don't have any mobility issues or any other comorbidities, so I feel like it's a quick fix in my own situation.1 -
ruqayyahsmum wrote: »Here in the uk we have to go through tier 3 before surgery is considered which soulds similar to the programme theyve reccomended you start in
We had access to phycologists, dietitians, physios and bariatric nurses to help us learn why we over eat, how to set calorie goals, help identify movement issues and overcome them to put more exercise in place etc
Only after that did we decide along with them weather to go ahead for surgery (still a wait with more appointments)
I went with a friend. I chose surgery she chose not to. We both had the same amount of support and input over 18 months
Unfortunately even thou she had lost a few stone when i had the surgery she chosr to give up entirely and stop trying. Shes regained it all plus a few extra stone (last i heard she was 26 stone, we dont talk much now as along with another friend she said some very mean things about my weight loss and my parenting)
It's interesting you say that because I don't have any mobility issues. In fact, it's the opposite and so maybe that's partially why I'm so shocked they're suggesting this for me. I am a regular runner and lifter . . . yes I'm heavy but I'm very active. Food/portion control is one of my biggest obstacles but whether I have surgery won't fix that - I still need to deal with that no matter which route I go.0 -
I was also a very active and athletic fat guy. What I didn't know was I was doing extra damage to my hips. I never would have considered surgery in my 20s. When my hips got bad, the future without golf, basketball or pain free walking started to look really bleak. That change in my ability to be mobile and athletic really hit me hard and helped me make the decision.
Weight gets much harder to carry and to lose as you get older. Even if you don't choose the surgery, take care of your joints and body.1 -
Weight gets much harder to carry and to lose as you get older. Even if you don't choose the surgery, take care of your joints and body.
When I was younger it was easier to be heavy and active, but it DOES catch up with you. I don't know if my knees will ever be normal. I have a younger sister who is in her 30s who is extremely overweight, like I was, and she refuses to even consider surgery, which is her prerogative, but I don't think she gets how much her weight will impact her life not too far down the road. Like Rob said, even if you don't choose surgery, take care of your body.2 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »[
Really? Maximum of 4% without surgery? That's crazy . . . I can't believe that.
This will likely only get worse. It could get better, it will likely get worse though.
Yes, really! If you're morbidly obese your best bet to keep the weight off is with surgery. Can you lose the weight on your own? Of course, but how many times have you lost a ton of weight to gain it all back? Do you want to do that all your life?
And, to answer one of your questions; yes, it definitely improves your quality of life! It's helped me manage my neuro chronic disease much better.
Of course, get all the info you need and check if you can commit, but as others have said, it's well worth it!1 -
sexygatubela77 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »[
Really? Maximum of 4% without surgery? That's crazy . . . I can't believe that.
This will likely only get worse. It could get better, it will likely get worse though.
Yes, really! If you're morbidly obese your best bet to keep the weight off is with surgery. Can you lose the weight on your own? Of course, but how many times have you lost a ton of weight to gain it all back? Do you want to do that all your life?
And, to answer one of your questions; yes, it definitely improves your quality of life! It's helped me manage my neuro chronic disease much better.
Of course, get all the info you need and check if you can commit, but as others have said, it's well worth it!
In all honesty - I haven't yo-yo'd. I was pretty athletic my entire teens, but in my late teens early 20s (when I went to university AND met my ex-partner of 6 years) I stopped and my eating habits were horrible! Absolutely horrible. So I was 350lbs at 25 years old and I was like this has to change - this is just not healthy. So I started losing. I have, in all honesty, gained back 25 of the 100 I've lost over the last 6 months is, but I haven't yo-yo'd in weight loss like others have. I've been (for the most part) on the overall downward trend.0 -
I wouldnt say surgery is the easy way out but it is easier. The question is-What's wrong with easier? Do you get a medal if you do the hardest way possible? Im serious.
Before I had surgery I struggled and struggled for years. Yes, it was hard. It was a hard life. I thought about food all the time. I was in a war with the food. Sometimes I think people get so used to doing it the hard way that they fail to realize its the impossible way for some people. up. down. up. down. guilt. down. up. guilt....its a vicious cycle of self abuse. I finally had to decide that I needed a way that was possible and yes, easier. I dont need a medal for toughing my life out in obesity. I choose my health instead.4
