This is:
International Housekeepers Week.
Show your cleaning woman a little love. No, not that kind.

Dating and Life Coach Recognition Week.
We find you beautiful Russian bride woman no mustache. Strong woman. She clean house, wash ceilings and cook good.

The Kentucky Bourbon Festival Through the 17th.
Seven, yes, seven days of glorious Kentucky Sour Mash Euphoria.

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National Hot Cross Buns Day.
It only makes sense to celebrate this in the middle of September. Why? Don't know.

Day of Sobriety in Russia.
Keep a Russian sober for 24 hours? Ain't gonna happen.

I’m On Top Of It Day.
How many times have you told that lie?

National Make Your Bed Day.
And maybe put on clean linens for next year.

Birthdays:
Lex Murphy, 38
Cookie Lyon, 46
Joseph Harry Fowler Connick Jr. 49
Richard Melville Hall, 51
Christina Ann McNichol, 55
Jon Moss, 60
Michael Steven Hartman, 74

Yes, Captain Obvious, I know what anniversary this is. It doesn't belong here.