Hi all, thanks for your responses, and sorry for disappearing off the radar for a few days!

My background is as follows:
- with hindsight (being the wonderful 20:20 vision that it is!) I now realise that I've always been prone to depression and suffered from SAD (seasonal affective disorder every winter that I can recall). I'm typically a very happy, bubbly person to the outside world so very few people are aware.
- three years ago I self-referred (grudgingly, it took a lot of persuading by my husband to make me do it!) for counselling in January as I was really lacking in energy, motivation and most of all kept bursting into tears. Whilst I felt better after each session with the counsellor, it wasn't able to help me long term as I felt that we spent the sessions talking about my past and reasons for feeling the way I do but not long term coping strategies.
- I've been on antidepressants (SSRIs, specifically citalopram 40mg/day) for two and half years due to depression, generalised anxiety and burnout. The depression wasn't a suicidal depression, but each night I'd go to bed hoping I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I felt (and still often do) feel completely worthless and as if I'm wasting valuable space and resources on this planet and in the lives of my loved ones that could be used on more "worthwhile" humans.
- The citalopram helped, but the dose needed increasing from 20mg to 40mg and now I again am struggling and feel I need an increased dose. The citalopram helps quiet down the voices in my head but doesn't help with the lack of energy and motivation to do anything. However, I can't increase my dose as the max dose has recently been reduced to 40mg from 60mg. I went through about two months of horrific side effects getting used to the citalopram and so my doctor is unwilling to switch me to a different dose as I'm "reasonably" stable on 40mg.
- My doctor also referred me for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) in which I was given a different method of trying to manage my problems each week. Since the methods we used changed each and every week, I was never able to find a method that worked well for me (I suspect I needed to be able to work on one or two methods for a longer period of time rather than jumping from one to the next)

I'm trying a number of things to help:
- 1500mg Omega 3/day
- probiotics (some studies have indicated that gut health may be linked to mental health)
- 2000 IU vitamin D per day
- tryptophan (to boost dopamine levels and to try and ensure I'm not overloading on seratonin from the citalopram at the expense of dopamine). Note: I will stop taking this when I stop taking citalopram.
- female multi vitamin daily: which is high strength Vitamin B6, Chromium and Magnesium plus 100% of RDA for iron
- high strength B12
- exercise: jogging a few times a week and making sure I get in at least 6000-8000 steps per day
- sleeping: I keep trying with this one, but I'm not a great sleeper! I use a bedroom fan every night, for both background noise and to cool the room, lavender spray on my pillow, warm milky drink before bed. Sometimes I sleep ok, sometimes I really really don't!
- LCHF: low carb / low sugar being good for mental health, and a plentiful supply of amino acids from the extra meat (I previously ate meat only a couple of times a week at most) to help keep my brain fed with all the amino acids it needs to make seratonin / dopamine etc.

I had no interest in being in ketosis when I started this WOE, but having read a few studies about the benefits of ketones on mental health, I think I'd like to try it out and see if it can help.

@AlexandraCarlyle - thanks for letting me know the link worked. I wasn't 100% sure I trusted my own typing!

@medic2038 - you are absolutely right. I understand that mental health isn't a "fixable" problem, rather that I need to work out for myself what preventative measures I need to have in place to keep me balanced. Can I ask, what exactly is a psychologist (or rather, what do you specifically mean by a psychologist)? I realise this sounds like a ridiculous question, but I've not really got a clear idea as to the differences between all the different mental health "therapists" there are out there! I (believe) the therapists I've seen so far would be classed as a counsellor (discussing your past and reactions and feelings from your childhood that can influence how you behave/react now) and a cognitive behavioural therapist (trying to find "distraction" mechanisms to avoid constant rumination)

@Sunny_Bunny_ thanks for that link, I'm going to go and check it out now!

Also, you guys are all amazing, I love this forum

@JasonOnceAgain thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I think you're absolutely right about the anxiety, something about not having the highs and lows of sugar binges and crashes definitely helps make life a little more manageable in general!

@bluets2011 - it really sucks doesn't it. But I think recognising that depression is a life long condition that's always just hiding round the corner waiting to pop back in at any time is probably the healthiest way to deal with it. I do feel that having gone through this journey, I am in a much better position to recognise that initial mental dip and do something about it at that point. I will be reducing my SSRI dose under the supervision of my GP - my previous GP left the surgery and so I've been switched to a new GP and the first thing he said to me was that he wanted me to come off them. After discussing it with him, we agreed that we'd leave it until my prescription next gets reviewed at the end of October with a view to considering starting to taper it off at that point. Just in time for winter!! But then there will always be a reason not to do it, so that will be as good a time as any....