Advice on regain and goals

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Hello all,
I am just over 3 years out from VSG and it has been an interesting journey. I started at 284lbs, was 254 on day of surgery and lost the majority of my weight in the first 18 months (approx. 100lbs). This time frame is pretty typical from what I've been told. My doctor told me that it was normal to loose the excess weight, gain about 10 pounds and then stabilize into maintenance. I do not know if this was my experience given extenuating circumstances.

In June of 2016 (about 18 months out), I weighed about 155. The following month my mother became very sick and I was her caretaker. Due to the physical stress I dropped down to 145 when she died (a month after diagnosis). I then gained again in the following year and now I am up to 165. I don't think this was the typical bounce, especially because I kept gaining.

I know the emotional stress associated with grief (and planning a wedding), takes its toll. I was pretty angry with myself for re-gaining, but admit now that I wasn't very healthy under 155. In fact, I did a fitness assessment last year and was told I was only about 20% body fat. I was fine as long as I focused on strength and flexibility, as opposed to cutting calories. So here I am, trying to figure out what my goal should be and how to lose again.

How do you best handle weight gain? I feel like I am out of touch with my own balance, feel hungry all of the time (which was never the case in the first 18 months), and don't really know where to start. I read about the pouch resets, but there seems to be very mixed reviews.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks all!

Replies

  • loveshoe
    loveshoe Posts: 365 Member
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    rachelsb1, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. Stress gets the best of all of us. I don't really have a personal experience with restarting but we did talk about it in my last support meeting.

    The dietitian told us to just start with whatever our next meal was. She said it didn't matter if we ate the wrong thing for breakfast or had a bad snack, just start with the next meal. She said rather than planning a day in the future just start immediately.

    The beauty of MyFitnessPal is you can key in all your food and then start making tweaks. If your portion sizes have started increasing start back using your food scales and measuring cups for portion control. There are days where I'm meal planning and I key something in and immediately know I can't have that food because it just doesn't fit with the plan.

    There are several threads that discuss getting back on track in the Gastric Bypass/VSG/Lapband community. I'm sure you'll find some help here.
  • JamesAztec
    JamesAztec Posts: 524 Member
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    @rachelsb1 I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. My mom is turning 85 and I know at some point she will not be around. Life is precious.

    As for your weight it sounds like you're fine. Many people have "regains" of more than 10-20lbs. I'm more concerned that you're "always hungry". I fear you may be eating low calorie and/or highly processed foods.

    I'm almost 3 years post vsg. Been maintaining a 200lb weight loss for a couple years now. I'm the healthiest fittest and weigh less than I have in my adult life. I've developed a way of eating that I think can work for everyone. I try to limit sugar and highly processed foods. I eat 8-12 times a day. Mostly small meals. I'm usually between 2000-3000 calories a day. And I exercise regularly. I hope this helps.
  • rachelsb1
    rachelsb1 Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank you both for your kind words. It has been very difficult.

    @loveshoe I think a support group would be a great idea. I've moved out of Chicago and into the suburbs, so I'll have to look for one. I see a therapist, as I did during the pre-surgery and post-surgery phases. I continued to see her following my mother and as I prepared for my wedding. She has been incredibly helpful. She also challenged me to consider that bouncing back up was not a regression (which is what I was/am calling the gain), but more of a recovery from a stressful experience. My blood levels were horrible, so there was some re-focus on getting things back in line (Iron, B12 and D). I think it is time to revisit that approach.

    @Aztec4Life Thank You! I saw your post this morning about how so many people make weight loss about calories. It made me smile. As I fell asleep last night I was overthinking whether I needed to go back to calorie counting, and what that number should be. Your advice is incredibly helpful because I did try to go back to three meals only, nothing in between. I realize that haven't been getting over 1,000, which is likely why I have been hungry all the time. My blood work may likely suffer again, but we move forward. I think your approach of eating multiple meals (especially avoiding those refined sugars- which are so dangerous), is a very balanced and healthy approach. I've been learning to cook with fresh ingredients, as my husband is a natural. He's also very supportive, so we've been working to focus on protein and vegetables, and exploring different methods of preparation (e.g., Mediterranean, Italian, French...). We've also been watching food network a lot, which is sparking that curiosity to increase my skills in the kitchen!

    Quick question though: what is your stance on wine? I don't drink a lot, as post VSG has made me a serious lightweight, but do enjoy with dinner from time to time (2, maybe 3 times a week). It is hard to tell what is too much when about 3oz usually takes me to a stopping point. Just thought I'd ask.

    Thank you both. What a great group this is!








  • JamesAztec
    JamesAztec Posts: 524 Member
    edited February 2018
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    I think the number of meals one eats is a personal preference. Some people like the structure of 3 meals with maybe a snack or two. I personally like the flexibility of eating how often and how much I want to satiation. I've heard some people call that "intuitive" eating. My GF calls it the "James Way" (James being my real name)
  • Elyseinchi
    Elyseinchi Posts: 71 Member
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    @rachelsb1 I am so sorry about your mom. Just sent you a PM. I also live in the Chicago burbs. I am just over a year out from VSG. I lost my mom in 2011 and I know the pain / emotional eating. I absolutely agree with @Aztec4Life regarding food choices ect. I am not a big drinker --- if I do have a drink I typically stick with vodka and club soda because the wine just has way too much sugar for me...
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    Sorry about your mom. I lost my mother right before Christmas 16 and have gained 30lbs. I was about 35lbs from my goal, now I'm 65 :( I'm so discouraged. I have tried everything. I am active (I love powerlifting), and lately, the more I restrict, the heavier I get. I hope you find what works...I just wanted to say that I feel like I can relate.
  • JamesAztec
    JamesAztec Posts: 524 Member
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    @KDar1988 unfortunately restricting your food more and more will not get you to your weight goals. Your post kind of proves (again) my point that CICO thinking doesn't work. Try concentrating on eating whole foods and cutting out processed foods as much as possible. I personally eat a lot of food and am never hungry. I just stay away from the junk. You can do it. Just have to change mind set!