QOTW:
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@tammyfranks2 I totally agree. I don’t understand why people feel the need to comment on other people’s bodies (fat, thin, or anywhere on the spectrum) Now, I think that sometimes loved ones may need to express concern over health if they can do so in a loving and compassionate manner. Most people have trouble with that so it’s often best to show you care and be supportive. I can honestly say that having people comment on my weight never did anything but make me retreat further inside of my self.
I am an emotional eater. When I get stressed, I tend to kick the *kitten* it bucket, so to speak.
the best thing I’ve learned is that if I stay busy or distract myself with something else I enjoy, I can get past cravings. Yesterday I slipped a bit. I had a Doctor appointment scheduled and the office called me as I was halfway there to reschedule. I was already nervous about this appointment and rescheduling it just meant I have to worry about it
longer. When I made it back to my office, someone had left a cup of valentines goodies on everyone’s desk. About 450 calories worth. I ate them all. I managed to recover and finish the day under my calorie goal (though I did dip into exercise calories), but that stress really weakened my resolve to stick to my plan.3 -
QOTW:
I'm definitely an emotional eater! I find when I'm eating, my brain will turn off from whatever negative is happening there and turn to enjoyment of whatever the food item is. So, the more negative I am, the more I eat. Also, if I'm not paying attention, i.e. bored, I'll eat "just because" and not even notice how many calories I'm consuming.
I've also found that when I am losing weight, I'm much more spontaneous or have a don't-give-a-**** mentality. Like I'm more likely to do stuff I want to do that I'd be worried about getting judged on otherwise. Not sure if it's the chicken or the egg in that instance, but it seems like my emotions balance out when I'm in this mode so I like it, whatever it is!2 -
Mellykay88 wrote: »Yesterday I slipped a bit. I had a Doctor appointment scheduled and the office called me as I was halfway there to reschedule. I was already nervous about this appointment and rescheduling it just meant I have to worry about it longer. When I made it back to my office, someone had left a cup of valentines goodies on everyone’s desk. About 450 calories worth. I ate them all. I managed to recover and finish the day under my calorie goal (though I did dip into exercise calories), but that stress really weakened my resolve to stick to my plan.
That stinks about the curve ball you were basically thrown by the cancellation, but way to go on keeping under your calorie count! That's what those exercise calories are for, and it's all about the average anyway. You got this even with a slip sometimes. Gotta give yourself leeway to be human
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@bmeadows380 I've only just read your story. Thank you so much for sharing and saying so much that I've been thinking for so long. I've been lucky I suppose in that I haven't always been really heavy. Maybe a little overweight for most of my life but after knee surgery and a few personal issues, hubby having an above knee amputation and my horse of a lifetime being put to sleep 3 weeks later I have literally piled on the stones. Everything I did or didn't do came down to my weight. Can't fit in the hairdressers chair any more? Change hairdresser. Can't get in a plane seat? Don't fly. Can't stand up for too long? Don't go out with friends. Etc etc etc. My whole life was/is built around those things.
At the moment my worst thing us that I desperately want to soak in the bath but I'm so scared I just won't be able to get out of I get in and the thought of being stuck naked and flabby terrifies me as there's no way my one legged husband could pull me out. I'm hoping I'll get down to about 260 and be able to give it a go then! No pressure lol.2 -
Mellykay88 wrote: »Thought I’d get a new QOTW going!
Are you an “emotional eater”? If so, what are you doing to replace eating as a coping skill?
I am an emotional eater. I eat most of my calories when I'm bored, which is a lot of the time. I find that getting up and getting out of the house and doing affordable things, like going to the gym on the city buses, help me out lots. I just need to find more productive things to occupy my time. Sometimes, that's hard, due to my injuries from working concrete.
I can do the elliptical machine and the weight machines (most of them) at the gym. But, standing is a definite no-no for me. So is walking, more than about 7 min at a time, and around a total of about 20 min a day. It is so painful and I just can't tolerate it. I also can't bend forward and do anything, or do much bending over. I have to be careful and not pick up & carry more than about 8 lbs at a time. Needless to say, he does a whole lot to help take care of us at home.
So, my physical limitations do limit what I can do, to distract myself from being bored at home and eating. But, that's no excuse and I just have to find more things that I CAN do. I always try to think of what I can do, and focus on that. I'm so happy that I can still walk and do what I can do. I stay positive!!!0 -
@fatoldladyonamission omg the bathtub , I haven't had a bath in years , I shower and even then I am very quick in the shower because standing like that hurts , I have a bath chair but those things are awful , my dream is to have a walk in shower , no tub at all , and have a built in bench , for if i need to sit down , people just do not get the whole taking a bath thing and how hard it is , even washing my hair is a chore , but i got it cut so it's easier. BUT since this time I am really doing it and losing and working so hard maybe by Christmas I could get into my tub and take a bath. man that would be awesome. Ya know I don't sleep with my husband I sleep in a chair , (it's a very comfy recliner chair) because I can not lay down , I would be in to much pain. so to sleep in my own bed and to take a bath , something everyone else does with ease , that is my goal , that is all i want 3
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@tammyfranks2 sending you huge hugs, I feel bad for whining now because I am so lucky in that we have a walk in wet room type shower and I’d never really appreciated it before. You will do all those things and I will be right here supporting you all the way. I am dreaming of a bath, I’m just hoping that it will be in a few months time. I’m pretty sure I used to have a bath weighing more than I do right now but the last one I had really scared me when I almost couldn’t heave myself out. What’s really bad is that my one legged husband is in the bath right now and gets himself out without any help from me or anyone else. We don’t even have a bath chair or any properly fixed grab rails so I’ve no idea how he does it but it certainly shames me that I can’t just due to the weight.
Bad thoughts aside, we can and will do this. We’ve got a lovely group of amazingly like minded and supportive people here, that’s what helps make the difference.2 -
fatoldladyonamission wrote: »@bmeadows380 I've only just read your story. Thank you so much for sharing and saying so much that I've been thinking for so long. I've been lucky I suppose in that I haven't always been really heavy. Maybe a little overweight for most of my life but after knee surgery and a few personal issues, hubby having an above knee amputation and my horse of a lifetime being put to sleep 3 weeks later I have literally piled on the stones. Everything I did or didn't do came down to my weight. Can't fit in the hairdressers chair any more? Change hairdresser. Can't get in a plane seat? Don't fly. Can't stand up for too long? Don't go out with friends. Etc etc etc. My whole life was/is built around those things.
At the moment my worst thing us that I desperately want to soak in the bath but I'm so scared I just won't be able to get out of I get in and the thought of being stuck naked and flabby terrifies me as there's no way my one legged husband could pull me out. I'm hoping I'll get down to about 260 and be able to give it a go then! No pressure lol.
Yep; I understand that! Everything in my life does relate back to my weight. Now I don't have all the troubles that a lot of folks do at my size, and I think it comes down to my body-build and perhaps the fact that I've been obese my whole life. From a health perspective, all m number from cholesterol to blood sugar are fine, and I've been able to do what I want physically pretty much anytime, though there are a few things I've wanted to do but can't, such as go horseback riding. But there are things that are more difficult, and I'm hoping will become easier when I lose more weight.
The bath thing for me wasn't so much getting out, it was fitting in the tub! My parents have an old claw-foot tub that is huge, and even at my biggest I could use it, though climbing in and out was a challenge just because of its height!
You can do this, though! And it will amaze you the things that you'll find yourself doing as you lose the weight that you didn't realize had happened! I'll post more about that as an NSV.tammyfranks2 wrote: »
tammyfranks2 wrote: »I am on my way to lose weight , but i am sick and tried of body shaming and people telling others how to live !!! I say do what makes you happy and me being this big hurts so I am not happy so I am fixing it , so I can be happy !!!
Amen to both of these! I HATE this trend of people excusing their belittling and demeaning of fat people in the name of "health"!Mellykay88 wrote: »Thought I’d get a new QOTW going!
Are you an “emotional eater”? If so, what are you doing to replace eating as a coping skill?
Well, I've never truly considered myself one, not really. I do struggle a lot with a very negative self image and because of it, I tend to slip into depression easily, even more so because I"m an introvert and spend a LOT of time by myself, but having too much time alone with my thoughts can lead to a lot of self evaluation which turns into self criticism......
But even when I'm in the midst of some of the worst of it, I'm not the sort to go bake like crazy or eat mindlessly or reach for comfort foods, nor does it happen when I've had a bad day at or or bad news.
My problem is that I just downright love food and love eating. I enjoy it like some folks enjoy a hobby or a passion like golf or something. I like to bake and cook and try new recipes and make familiar favorites, and I love the taste and aroma and texture. I go to a buffet and there's so many things that I just want to try because they look so good!
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@bmeadows380 you sound so much like me! I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol and definitely no diabetes. Hubby is a type 2 diabetic and he tests me quite regularly with his monitor always annoyed that I can seemingly have anything and not have my blood sugar go out of normal range!
I can't wait to be doing some of the things I've dreamed of. Up until 18 months ago I had two horses. I couldn't ride either due to my weight and my biggest regret is that my boy I'd had for 16 years died suddenly before I lost the weight to ride him again. That's not going to happen again. Daughter wants another horse so we will buy one hopefully soon but I'm going to ride it.
Emotional eating? Well no actually I think I just love to eat. Mostly savoury things and chocolate. I will eat until my stomach hurts and then go back for more as soon as it stops. I feel disgusting admitting that but it's the truth. Currently I'm doing around 1100 calories a day and taking orlistat. It seems to be working so the switch is flicked into diet on position. I can only pray it stays that way because I'll never forgive myself if I relapse this time.
Sorry feeling a little low for some reason tonight. Best hope the morning comes around fast and brings non achy legs with it so I can do more on the treadmill!2 -
Taking a bath is a great goal! I love baths. I actually have been taking baths and reading instead of eating lately. Two years ago I tore some ligaments in my knee and I've been rolling up onto the edge of the tub and then leveraging myself out when I take a bath because I can't put pressure on my knee. It's humiliating even in front of myself. I'm going to get up out the tub like normal one day soon! We will get there!
As far as emotional eating, I struggle with this some. Not so much eating when I'm sad, but my family marks every occasion with food. We have birthdays and vacation coming up and I'm already trying to figure out what to do. I also substitute food for sleep and rest when I get really tired. If I've had too many sweets you can bet I'm exhausted. I'm trying to get enough rest and recognize tired for what it is. I also have been ordering groceries and picking them up on my way home from work so that I'm not exhausted and standing in the candy aisle!2 -
Mellykay88 wrote: »Thought I’d get a new QOTW going!
Are you an “emotional eater”? If so, what are you doing to replace eating as a coping skill?
Yes!! I eat when I'm hungry, bored, tired, sad, nervous, stressed, celebrating... Food is an all-purpose drug for me! So far the main thing I've done to combat this is to recognize I don't need to eat every time something bad happens or eat every time something good happens. If I just stay cognizant of it, it's a lot easier to resist. And when I can't resist, I let myself snack... I just choose healthier/less calorie-dense options! I think the hardest one for me to combat is stress. It becomes almost a compulsion.
I completely feel you guys on the baths too! I'm not too worried about getting out, but I hate the way it makes me feel like a beached whale, and because I have a pinched nerve in my back, I'm afraid to bend over and really scrub the tub the way I would want to in order to soak in it. As it is, I keep it clean enough that it's not visibly dirty, but if my privates were going to be stewing in it, I would want to really deep clean it! Which just isn't worth the pain it would probably put me in. I've had to have my fiance's help putting on my pants and shoes some mornings because my back would hurt so bad I couldn't bend over at all and I want to avoid that as much as possible, so I'm very careful not to do too many things that will put us in that situation.2 -
@rabidhamster87 I totally understand how you feel with your back. That's such a sharp, painful feeling. At what disks is your pinched nerve located? (L3-L4, or such??) I'm so glad your finance is kind and helps you with your pants and shoes, when you are unable to do that.
I get what you're saying about getting down there and cleaning the tub real well, if you've going to be in it. I'm with you about feeling that way. He cleans our whole bathroom here, regularly. He does a nice job, but, there are times that I look down at the tub, with my glasses on, and am glad that only the bottom of my feet will be touching it. But, if I ever mention anything about the bathroom needing cleaning--real gently, he is glad that I said something and usually gets to it in the next day or two.0 -
To answer the QOTW (from many weeks ago, but I’m still catching up on all I missed while away!):
I am not an emotional eater; like many others, I just love to eat, so overeating was never contingent on my emotions. I work from home, so I have a lot of time where I wander around my house. And people would always tell me to just not have bad stuff in the house, but it never worked. Even buying healthy food, I would find something unhealthy to make.
I am very happily married with an incredibly supportive husband, but even he doesn’t know the extent of my bad eating because I did everything in the world to hide it. I would buy us groceries and hide candy and cookies in my oversized purse when I came home. I would eat in the bathroom, or in the bedroom while he was just steps away in our family room. I would even take ice cream out of its container and transfer it to a tupperware I could hide at the bottom of the freezer and then hide the container deep into the trash. It sounds ridiculous and is mortifying to admit, but it’s true. It’s how my weight got so out of control. I always felt that because I don’t drink or smoke, I was entitled to a vice too, but I’m not. And the fact I was hiding it merely showcases my own shame. I am slowly changing my relationship with food but it’s a long process.
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What does QOTW mean?
I thought I could figure it out from y'all's comments, but, I can't.1 -
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