Thin spouse remarks/trying to avoid admonitions about keto by keeping it to myself
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thenewmepb
Posts: 6 Member
I have not shared with ANY friends or family my attempts to start a keto diet. I bought “Simply Keto” (KetoKarma) and have been loosely following the 30 day plan for meals (although recipes get me above my calculated daily allotment of 13g). Several of the recipes call for bacon, which I previously had about once every several months. But the most bacon in a recipe that makes 6 servings is 3 strips and a BLT wrap is only 1.5 slices.
My thin husband (he weighs the same as when we married 30 years ago!) has started making comments about my cooking bacon (“this is the 3rd week you’ve cooked bacon. Why are you eating bacon? It’s not good for you”). I have not told anyone about this diet, because I am in remission from cancer and the mantra from cancer nutritionists is “whole grains, low fat, moderate protein & lots of fruits and vegetables”. Meanwhile I am the heaviest I have ever been (156 at 5 feet 1 inch, I weighed 96 when I got married) and maintenance drugs contribute to unhealthy weight.
I have only lost 3 pounds in about 2 months, but it’s better than gaining. I think I probably need to cut back on cheese, which is the thing that makes up for not having bread & pasta (I am Italian).
What can I say about using bacon, butter, cream cheese, whipping cream in recipes without giving away my secret that I am trying this diet?
My thin husband (he weighs the same as when we married 30 years ago!) has started making comments about my cooking bacon (“this is the 3rd week you’ve cooked bacon. Why are you eating bacon? It’s not good for you”). I have not told anyone about this diet, because I am in remission from cancer and the mantra from cancer nutritionists is “whole grains, low fat, moderate protein & lots of fruits and vegetables”. Meanwhile I am the heaviest I have ever been (156 at 5 feet 1 inch, I weighed 96 when I got married) and maintenance drugs contribute to unhealthy weight.
I have only lost 3 pounds in about 2 months, but it’s better than gaining. I think I probably need to cut back on cheese, which is the thing that makes up for not having bread & pasta (I am Italian).
What can I say about using bacon, butter, cream cheese, whipping cream in recipes without giving away my secret that I am trying this diet?
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Replies
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Maybe star quoting Taubes (Good Calories Bad Calories) or Nina Teicholz (Big Fat Surprise). Both go into the history of why fats were demonized and how the science does not back up the low fat dogma that is slowly (too slowly) losing its credibility. Fat IS good for you.
You could also call it a lower carb healthy fat diet.... That sounds healthy without the keto stigma.
the Warburg Effect backs that up. There are a few popular books on LCHF and cancer out now. The Metabolic Approach to Cancer is one of the latest. 2 -
I found on a site called beatcancer (dot) org, the following statement... "Cancer cells love sugar! That is why refined carbohydrates like white sugar, white flour, high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) and soft drinks are extremely dangerous for anyone trying to prevent or reverse cancer."
That being said, I think you're completely justified in doing the low carb or keto way of eating. If your husband asks, just tell him that you're cutting out carbs because of these reasons. Otherwise, why worry about what he thinks? It is YOUR body. You're trying something that is working for YOU. If you feel good eating keto, I would say, keep going and don't stop! 1 -
There are lots of documented cases of keto being used for cancer treatment, quite successfully - so, even if you don't want to use it for weight loss, it seems like in your case it could be very helpful in keeping you healthy and keeping your cancer away. Kudos for being in remission, and kudos for being your own health advocate and not just following the standard advice from the doctor!!!
It seems like this process would be easier for you if your husband knew. Even if you didn't want to share that with anyone else. If you really don't want to use the keto word, you can always tell him you are doing an alternate anti-cancer diet. Very low carb, moderate protein, healthy fats - this should be a good thing from his perspective, particularly if you feel better and you are able to stay in remission.
As for the weight loss, that is going to take a lot of patience - as a general rule if your body is trying to heal it will put the energy there first, plus the drugs that you are on are definitely going to have an impact. Certainly your body probably has a lot of inflammation due to what is going on inside you, and inflammation is going to tend to mask fat loss anyway. But losing is definitely better than gaining, and slow loss is more likely to be a higher percentage of fat loss rather than muscle or water, so hang in there and don't worry about how long it takes. Take measurements, you might see results there even when the scale is not showing much.
Stay healthy and stick with it!!!1 -
I find it easier to keep it to myself or just say Atkins. I've actually had friends yell at me over it. Not worth sharing sometimes. I've lost a lot of weight and reversed 3 health conditions.
It ain't nobody's business if I do...
Best of luck to you.1 -
I might be inclined to start by listening to some of the YouTube videos by Dr. (PhD) Dominic D'agostino. There are many and some of them are specifically about cancer research and ketogenic diets. Pick and choose the best as related to your personal situation for starving cancer cells of sugar versus keto for weight loss...or body building...or Alzheimer's...or seizure control. Dr. D'agostino covers many topics as a ketogenic medical researcher. Not just weight loss. Share the most appropriate videos with your husband.
My gut reaction to your dilemma is your husband's concern is that he has heard the low fat mantra and is concerned about you eating high fat bacon thus concerned about your well being. It is pretty hard to cook bacon and not have the odor permeate the house.
Help your husband understand the "what and why" of your food choices. My best to you.
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keep in mind that everyone is different. Dr Jason Fung and the Obesity code states that you can have between 0-50 net carbs daily. I didn't start losing until I found this simple calculator. your fat should be your target goal weight(you should not go over this in a day but don't push to hit you should use the fat to help satiate you), half of that is your protein(must try to hit this as a goal daily), and you should do n1 test (just try different amounts of carbs) to figure out what your carbs should be. my sweet spot on carbs is between 20-30 daily( I don't do net carbs just total carbs). don't concentrate on calories and don't stress. Keto should be simple.1
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I also watch a lot of Ken D Berry MD on youtube, Suzanne Ryan, Dr Fung, Keto Connect0
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Is he always home with you? I say, bake a month's worth of bacon and hide it in the freezer LOL! And save the drippings in the fridge in a container he wouldn't open for recipes where u were supposed to render the bacon into the dish 1
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Why not just try to have an honest conversation explaining WHY are you doing this.
Yes a lot of people have things to say, but this is your spouse of 30 years and you want him on your team. He needs to understand WHY you all of a sudden eating more bacon and since you have not share this information with him, he doesn't see the full picture.
Try it, it might work 0 -
shirli2018 wrote: »Why not just try to have an honest conversation explaining WHY are you doing this.
Yes a lot of people have things to say, but this is your spouse of 30 years and you want him on your team. He needs to understand WHY you all of a sudden eating more bacon and since you have not share this information with him, he doesn't see the full picture.
Try it, it might work
My husband--who is also thin and just needs to skip a few desserts if he starts to gain weight--is not supportive when I tell him about any specific diet plan I am on. If I started to explain why I'm eating bacon, his eyes would glaze over...he assumes it's a scam and will start to worry that I'm under-nourishing myself (as I am often tired and stressed, due to my crazy lifestyle and not lack of calories!).
But if I tell him that him joking about my consumption of cauliflower or urging me to eat a french fry is hurtful, he knocks it off ASAP. It's not that anyone needs to know the details of their spouse's WOE (unless they want to do it themselves), but they need to be supportive and not sabotage. I think sometimes our loved ones don't know how much their skepticism can be derailing.
Just another perspective, in case he's not receptive to info on the diet!0 -
I think it’s time to come out of the closet.
You’re an adult and can do exactly as you please.
You’ve used the brain in your head and learned some new things and want to act upon them.
You’re smart. Don’t let the uninformed make you feel otherwise. They aren’t stupid. Just uninformed. There are plenty of resources as already mentioned to inform them if they choose. In the mean time. Do what you believe is right and do it proudly.2
