Poll, sorta.
Options
88olds
Posts: 4,491 Member
On the Motivation & Support board this issue came up in a thread.
It’s widely considered rude to comment on what an obese person may be eating when it is clear they aren’t interested in losing weight.
But take that same obese person, let it be known they are involved in WL, and its manners be damned.
Why is it rude in the first instance and not the second. Or if it is rude in both, why don’t those people keep themselves in check.
It’s widely considered rude to comment on what an obese person may be eating when it is clear they aren’t interested in losing weight.
But take that same obese person, let it be known they are involved in WL, and its manners be damned.
Why is it rude in the first instance and not the second. Or if it is rude in both, why don’t those people keep themselves in check.
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Replies
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I'd say rude, either way.
I know it rankles me when someone who knows I'm on WW says, should you be eating that?0 -
I agree with Al. Keep your comments to yourself
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It's rude either way. Paternalism is something that should be limited to one's own children.
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You can comment on the fact that you like a particular item of apparel or jewelry I'm wearing, but please refrain from comments about my body as well as what I am eating.0
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It's rude either way. Too many people in this great country of ours don't care.0
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Leaves a great opening for "Shouldn't you be minding your own business?" or something along those lines. Generally rude but let's face it, that's how a lot of people are.0
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I agre with it being rude either way. If you can't contribute in a positive manner don't comment period.
SW 400.8
CW 352.0 🙂
Next 1 GW 340.0
Next 2 GW 300.0
Final GW 185.0
48.8 lbs Total Loss0 -
Ditto on the rude either way0
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While it may or may not be rude, it's really inappropriate to comment on things that you have incomplete information. These single "snap-shot" moments don't give sufficient information on which to make a reasonable comment.
There are times, however, where comments might be appropriate and useful. For example, if one has been confiding in one's spouse or close friend/family-member about their weight-management efforts, then that confidant may have enough information to make a useful and appropriate comment.
For example, if I eat something that is not "diet-y," to the non-initiated it may seem that I'm not doing a good job on my diet.
In contrast, to someone "in-the-know," they may understand that I have been "saving up" my calories to have a splurge. Or, they may make a suggestion of something that still gives me my splurge, but is a bit more reasonable. Blah blah blah.
So, to bring it back to the original post, I think it's situation-dependent.1 -
Out of line either way
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Rude is a pretty subjective term, but I'd say any advice that's given when it's not asked for is not helpful. I find it's always better to ask questions and refrain from giving advice unless someone has specifically asked for it.
Here's the hierarchy of advice as I've learned it. From worst to best:
4. Unqualified/Unsolicited
3. Qualified/Unsolicited
2. Unqualified/Solicited
1. Qualified/Solicited
If someone isn't asking for advice they aren't going to hear it no matter how good the advice is. Wisdom isn't knowing what to say, it's knowing when to say it.1 -
Steve-O and Kal give longer answers as like most things in life "it depends". In general I do NOT comment on appearance,clothes, or what folks are eating, and it certainly can be rude either way if unsolicited.0
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I polled my WW meeting yesterday, and overwhelmingly rude, unless it's from your "coach/partner in weightloss".0
