Confessions from a Bariatric Surgery Failure
mae7365
Posts: 66 Member
I had bariatric surgery (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) in November of 2014. I was overwhelmed with joy that I was FINALLY going to be the "thin me" that I was back in my 20's. I felt blessed to have been given this opportunity. And it worked. I dropped 60 lbs over the next 10 months. I no longer needed blood pressure medication, my pre-diabetes was gone, I dropped 5 dress sizes, joined a gym and had an "affair" with my husband (he loved the new me).
So the truth is, the bariatric surgery was not a failure. It did exactly what I was told it would do - dramatically restrict my food intact That first year after surgery is an essential part of the bariatric surgery process. It's the time when you are supposed to learn how to change your attitude and love affair with food. It's the time for learning portion control and giving up all those processed carbohydrates and sugary treats that had become a part of my daily diet. I was told over and over again prior to surgery and at my post-op group sessions: BARIATRIC SURGERY IS TOOL, NOT A WEIGHT LOSS MIRACLE!
So my bariatric surgery wasn't a failure, I failed at bariatric surgery. At the one year point I had gained back 10 lbs. That wasn't so bad. At two years I had gained back 15 more. At four years I had gained back a total of 40 pounds! Those size 8 clothes have been sent to Goodwill and my XL and 1X clothes hang shamefully in my closet!
It all started with a doughnut, then a few potato chips, then some ice cream, then a few Hershey bars ........ and the list goes on and on! Did my stomach somehow grow back or stretch back to it's original size? No, it's still only hold 4 ounces. But I added "sliders" back to my diet. Those are the carbohydrates and sugary foods that dissolve quickly in your stomach - continually making room for more. So I binge on all those yummy, high calorie, nutrition-less foods and wonder why the scale makes me so unhappy every morning.
So here I am, four years and four months after my miracle surgery. Angry, depressed, frustrated, humiliated, embarrassed and feeling like a complete failure. But I will not give up!
I'm hoping I'm not the only one who has experienced this disappointment. Has anyone else been able to reverse the gain and get back on track? If so, how?
So the truth is, the bariatric surgery was not a failure. It did exactly what I was told it would do - dramatically restrict my food intact That first year after surgery is an essential part of the bariatric surgery process. It's the time when you are supposed to learn how to change your attitude and love affair with food. It's the time for learning portion control and giving up all those processed carbohydrates and sugary treats that had become a part of my daily diet. I was told over and over again prior to surgery and at my post-op group sessions: BARIATRIC SURGERY IS TOOL, NOT A WEIGHT LOSS MIRACLE!
So my bariatric surgery wasn't a failure, I failed at bariatric surgery. At the one year point I had gained back 10 lbs. That wasn't so bad. At two years I had gained back 15 more. At four years I had gained back a total of 40 pounds! Those size 8 clothes have been sent to Goodwill and my XL and 1X clothes hang shamefully in my closet!
It all started with a doughnut, then a few potato chips, then some ice cream, then a few Hershey bars ........ and the list goes on and on! Did my stomach somehow grow back or stretch back to it's original size? No, it's still only hold 4 ounces. But I added "sliders" back to my diet. Those are the carbohydrates and sugary foods that dissolve quickly in your stomach - continually making room for more. So I binge on all those yummy, high calorie, nutrition-less foods and wonder why the scale makes me so unhappy every morning.
So here I am, four years and four months after my miracle surgery. Angry, depressed, frustrated, humiliated, embarrassed and feeling like a complete failure. But I will not give up!
I'm hoping I'm not the only one who has experienced this disappointment. Has anyone else been able to reverse the gain and get back on track? If so, how?
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Replies
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Hi Mae, thank you for your very honest post. I’m a bit earlier in the process but identify with that fear of failure. I’m at the year mark with about 14 lbs left to drop. It’s definitely work to keep it going now and I do feel hungry. I hit my initial target and “eased up” a bit and maintained for a month. It’s scary how few extra calories lead to me maintaining as so few more will lead to regain which is a scary prospect for all of us. I have a bit of a mantra “trust CICO” (calories in vs calories out) that I just need to check my calories and my weight will eventually follow. Meal prep and a weekly meal plan on the fridge really help. I don’t log every day but do if I stall. When I log I weigh everything. Perhaps a week just back logging and weighing may be a good start to get a sense of what your calorie intake is? I’m still struggling with “treats” which are those gateway foods to regain. I inly drink alcohol once in a blue moon as will always eat more if I have a drink. I struggle with my partner having pretty poor habits and when my discipline wavers we inevitably eat badly - we need to work on this together, when one of us is struggling the other needs to make a healthy dinner, not get rubbish convenience food.4
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Hi @mae7365! It’s so easy to allow those quick calories back into our diets, and once we do we want them more and more. They don’t satisfy any hunger, and only leave us looking for other foods to eat, or starving within a couple of hours! For example, I used to eat Special K red berries with a banana and skim milk for breakfast in the mornings and within two hours I was starving. I now have bacon, or sausage, with an egg fried in the grease, with some cheese thrown in there for breakfast. This sustains me until well after lunchtime so most days I either skip it or just have a snack. Then don’t eat again until supper time.
This has helped me maintain my weight loss for over three years now.
I’d tried so many different diets prior to weight loss surgery: WW, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, Low calorie, CICO, but none of them worked then. Why would I choose to keep eating that way when it never worked before? Using low carb higher fat has been the key for my ability to maintain my weight loss without having to worry about regaining (and not feeling hungry!). Plus, I love the freedom from constantly thinking about what I get to eat next! The control this way of eating has given me over food has been liberating!
I actually began eating this way as soon as I was allowed solid food post op (4years ago) after realizing that it wouldn’t be best for me to eat the same foods that I did pre op. Why would I want to keep eating the same food that’d made me obese to start with? This is what’s worked for me.
Don’t ever give up on yourself! You’re worth every effort!!6 -
No, you are not alone. I had VSG May of 2013, lost 200 lbs from my near death high. I still needed to lose another 100 from that, but I was active feeling great and actually living again. Then life got tough with a move. Unhappy with work, with life in the new city I got depressed and like you I tripped on a doughnut. It was “free” with a cup of coffee. I hadn’t had one in two years...just one wouldn’t hurt. I slowly started gaining weight. I was staying active, then broke my foot on a walk. That sent my weight gain wildly up.
As of today, I have regained 100 lbs, and that’s after losing some of what I had gained. I’m fighting to dump the carbs and eat again as we were taught, but I had only a bit over a year of that while I have half a century of what I’ve slipped back to eating. It is hard, but so is being morbidly obese. Time to choose the hard.
So you aren’t alone. It’s in the past. Move forward and make your surgery successful again. I intend to do that. I have too much life to live and now that I’ve retired I have zero excuses not to make this my job.9 -
I can say that the longer you go without carbs, the lest you want them! It gets easier!
Make yourself the priority! Your worth it!5 -
I am 5 1/2 years post op from sleeve surgery. I was doing great - my surgeon called me his straight A student. I got a little too comfortable and a little sloppy with my diet, but what really tripped me up was going through menopause. Menopause in and of itself doesn't cause weight gain, but I was feeling so miserable I let many of my good exercise and eating habits go. I am getting back on track now but two years of horrible menopause symptoms and a regain of 50 of 200 lbs lost has been an emotional hit, to say the least. That said, I don't consider myself a failure, and you shouldn't either. We live and learn and we bounce back. We have the chance to change and improve every minute of every day. I know you are discouraged, but what has helped me is to remember my mindset when I decided to have surgery. I was confident and positive and that got me through the process. I am positive and confident again that I can lose the regain. You can do it too!!!!3
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First – I hate the word failure. You have not given up completely. You can get back at this.
I’m going into year five. I admit I’m letting carbs back in . Once I eat them, I crave them more. I start detoxing off them this week. Working this gain off.
Log your food empty the house of temptation, hydrate and activity. Exercise.
I found a weight loss challenge on MyFitnessPal that has been helpful. Link below
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10732447/just-give-me-10-days-round-71#latest
The challenge is ending the 23rd. I will post the start of the next round soon.
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I am a type I diabetic on a pump who had gastric bypass surgery in September of 2012. I lost about 110 pounds and was told I was too thin. I gained back about 10 and I was comfortable and very happy in my size 8's. I did fine for about 3 1/2 to 4 years. Maintained the weight loss, logged all my food and exercise every day honestly. Then life changes happened. Financial problems, big ones. An unexpected move, a tragic hurricane, another move. No kitchen or funds to cook. Lots of fast food. My taste for junk took over. And boom I found myself 20 pounds heavier and in a size 12, tight size 12 at that. We decided last year to try Keto. Made it about 3 weeks, but as a type I diabetic I found my blood sugars plummeted to levels as low as 20. To keep myself in Ketosis I just turned my pump off and prayed for the best. Quickly decided that was a game I was not going to play. Went off Keto and went crazy with sweets, junk, frozen pizzas, chips. You got it. That weight I lost over those 3 weeks came back and then some. So at this point we are trying Whole 30, trying to put an end to those cravings and get back on track. I lost my desire to eat vegetables and I hate anything healthy. Have to get my mind and body back where it needs to be. I am also a person who sees that my surgery was a great tool and over the last two years I have forgotten to respect that tool. Time to get back on track!4
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@annwyatt69 hey there. This is something that you KNOW you can do. Heck, you've done it before and maintained. I hope you don't feel like a failure because you are not. Honey, life happens to us all. It is what it is. What we have to do is pick ourselves BACK up. We can ONLY move up. I did. The last part of last yeAr, I fell off the wagon so to speak. I told all this to my WL S support group......I stopped everything....eating right....ate a bunch of carbs. I even stopped taking my vitamins and whatnot. But I pulled myself out of that rut. I think that I thought the weight would come off JUST BECAUSE I had the surgery. Welll, I learned that it truly IS a tool and we must USE it and not abuse it..ie; eating around our pouch. So it's definitely a new day and it will get better and better for all of us.......my motto
>DON'T BE DEFEATED!1 -
Is Whole 30 one of those food delivery programs....I was thinking of maybe using one of those perhaps in the future...Fledge Fitness advertises one, I forget the name. But they have one especially for keto, which I might try.0
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Mae, your post describes me, too. Thank you for being brave enough to share it!
I am so embarrassed that I regained 40 of the 150 pounds I lost. My body image is distorted and in my mind all I see is the 294 pound person I was. Realistically, I’m nowhere near the size at which I started, but it’s just so easy to go back there.
By joining this group, I’m hoping to find support and to be supportive of others on this same journey. We did it once - we can do it again!
Maggy 4 -
@MaggyMaizy you actually have 110 more pounds to go before you are where you were. with that being said please realize what you HAVE done and where you ARE now. You have ONLY regained 40 pounds. We want to move ONward and UPward. stop make that turn around and work towards going BACK in the right direction. You can definitely do it. I got off the wagon and gained 7 pounds,,,but I was told in my WLS support group that I "only gained 7 pounds"! That meant , I can get up and take action. and not stay down. Bec ause if I stayed down, 7 pounds woud turn back into 75 pounds quick. So honey you have accomplished a lot I mean A LOT! Even if you dont see the changes in the mirror, the scale in this case can be your saving grace because you are down 110 pounds and that my friend is nothing to sneeze at. My hat's off to you.🙏
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Also dealing with regain. Trying to fight off 25-30 lbs. I let the slider foods in and really need to get back on track. I am focusing on what has kept off, and getting back to basics to a degree. Trying to make exercise a priority too. I have always worked out but got a Peloton so I have no excuses . We can all do this.5
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We only fail when we lie down and give up. You clearly haven't done so.So my bariatric surgery wasn't a failure, I failed at bariatric surgery.
I had surgery in Oct 2015. I lost 165lbs by Aug/Sept 2016. I had skin removal in July of 2017. I ended up with lots of complications and the weight came on. Other life crept in and by Nov of 2018 I had gained 25lbs from the day of my skin removal. Include the 13lbs of skin removed, I was up 38lbs. Not a number I'm proud of at all. I quickly started trying to figure out what I could do to get it off.
I started with Intermittent Fasting. I only eat between 10:30am and 6:30pm. There are health benefits to IF, but for me, it more controls when I can eat, and since my stomach is still small, it helps control how much I can take it.
As I did this, I realized that was a lot of it for me. Control. I learned that a lot of my eating stems from anxieties that were never dealt with, never acknowledged, just shoved to the bottom of the bag of potato chips, bowl of pasta, loaf of bread.
Late November, I started a modified bariatric keto, still high protein but lower fat than mainstream keto. Since November 1, I have lost 20lbs of regain. I have about 8lbs more to get back to where I'd like to maintain. I'd love to take off another 15lbs to get to the goal I never hit, but we'll see how it goes.
At this point, I feel way more in control than I did last fall, and that's a huge start. My clothes are fitting better, I have more energy again. I've changed my workouts because swimming wasn't doing what I needed because I didn't push myself hard enough at it.
Honestly, if I don't lose another pound, I'd deal with it. I'm comfortable where I am, I look healthy, I feel great. You can get it off again. That stinking honeymoon period is aptly named. I wish all programs would change their programs to deal more with mental health in the beginning.
I know there was more, but this is the one bit that worries me. Lose that. CICO is a bad, slipper slope. The types of calories you are getting is just as important as the number. Also, CICO gives people a feeling that you can adjust your activity level to lose more. Research shows that 80% of weight is what we eat, 20% activity. The only reason I point this out is because you did indicate you were early on in the process. I just want to give you a friendly nudge that the quality and type of foods is so important. Early on is when it's dire to start developing that mindframe and the habits required to truly succeed.lozenger1984 wrote: »I have a bit of a mantra “trust CICO” (calories in vs calories out) that I just need to check my calories and my weight will eventually follow.
No, Whole 30 is an elimination diet. For 3 weeks you eliminate dairy, all grains, legumes, sugar, and alcohol. They focus on all natural, real ingredients. After the three weeks you slowly and methodically add things back. The point is to figure out what types of negative reactions you may have to certain types of foods.lleeann2001 wrote: »Is Whole 30 one of those food delivery programs....I was thinking of maybe using one of those perhaps in the future...Fledge Fitness advertises one, I forget the name. But they have one especially for keto, which I might try.
On another note, I'm so happy to see everyone rally for, "You're right, you screwed up and you can fix it!" I'm a member of so many Facebook groups and it's really saddening and maddening to see how many people cannot take responsibility and suggest, or ask about revisions. Even if you're not where you want to be, you have the tool. My program repeats over and over again, "User error." So much comes down to that...use your tool wisely!
BEST OF LUCK TO ALL!
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This is a good read. I just finished my 4th dietitian visit with two more to go. I've followed the eating and exercise guidelines with very successful weight loss. Now starting to second guess if I should have the surgery? Thoughts? Any one else felt or feeling same way. It is a life style change. My current thoughts are that with GBS the life style change may be too much!?0
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This is a good read. I just finished my 4th dietitian visit with two more to go. I've followed the eating and exercise guidelines with very successful weight loss. Now starting to second guess if I should have the surgery? Thoughts? Any one else felt or feeling same way. It is a life style change. My current thoughts are that with GBS the life style change may be too much!?
I never once second guessed my decision. Even though I have had some regain, my quality of life and my health is still in a MUCH better place than before. My BP, cholesterol, blood sugar, all of it is great according to my doctors. Lifestyle change is necessary with or without surgery if you want to lose weight. I have always said that WLS was the tool to help me lose weight faster which helped me get out of danger faster - I was just about 400 lbs and I would literally go to sleep scared that I wouldn't wake up. That said, we all know what to do, those of us that struggled can look back and see where we have to improve, and we can still use the tool of WLS to get to our goals. Just like any other tool, it has to be used properly to work properly.1 -
Imo, if you have any reservations about it then you should wait.
The sleeve made me sick and conversion to rny has improved that situation, but I will always be faced with the malabsorption of nutrients and vitamins.
I do have regrets on those levels. Also, you never get to stop thinking about your food choices. It’s a forever diet if you want to maintain the weight loss. Otherwise you become one of the failure statistics due to returning to eating the same foods.
If I’d found the ketogenic way of eating before my first surgery, I wouldn’t have ever needed the surgery. I’d have lost the weight on my own. But, we don’t get do overs in life. So, I will watch what I eat, and take my vitamins religiously to try to prevent the malnutrition that can occur with wls!
Good luck with making your decision for yourself! I’m sure you will end up choosing the best path for yourself! Hugs!!1 -
I'm 5 years out
I lost 175lb, some of that was during pregnancy
I was so ill I lost 30lb, developed hypoglycemia and gave birth at 25 weeks
The hospital was so concerned they had staff monitoring my food
By the time my son was 18 months I had gained 60lb despite breastfeeding
I've had to return to basics. I cut out carbs and I weigh and measure everything
I've gotten 40lb back off now and realised carbs actually make me feel crappy
With low carb oddly I don't have as many hypoglycemia episodes
I was very active before pregnancy which certainly helped me lose but havnt been able to exercise this time round thanks to health issues1 -
Oh my goodness - so many thoughts and suggestions written above resonate with me.
My biggest challenge with weight loss, obviously, is food and mindset. I have difficulty eating most meats that aren't ground up. But, I have no problem digesting simple carbs. To echo ruqayyahsmum, carbs make me feel crappy. On my low-carb days, I have more energy and eat less food. So if I feel better on those days, why not just make it a lifestyle? And that's the million dollar question! I'm still falling back on the old stress-eating habits of reaching for comfort foods when life gets tough. But who doesn't have stress in their life? Before opening my mouth to put food in it, I seriously have to ask myself, "how will this make me feel?" Sometimes my mind wins the battle, sometimes it doesn't. As long as we keep fighting the battle each new day, we will succeed! "Don't give up" needs to be my mantra.
Maggy
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I haven't regained...I just didn't lose like I was supposed to. I lost 50lbs but have at least another 50 to lose. It seems I cant lose anymore. All I do is maintain. So I started using myfitness pal to log all my food. I've tried in the past and I didn't keep up with it. Now here I am considering conversion from sleeve to bypass and deciding to try this logging thing before moving further with the conversion. In two weeks I've bounced between 2-4lbs lost. The next couple weeks will really determine if I'll continue with the food logging or go ahead with the bypass surgery. When I saw the surgeon regarding revision he asked "are you SURE you want to do this??". That really turned me off to the idea! So I hope this food logging does the trick.3
