One upon a time there lived a sweet little dog who lived with a giant ape-like creature. This creature would consume vast quantities of incredible food that didn't come from a 50 pound sack. It had different colors and textures and smells, oh the smells. Well, as the days past the sweet little dog worked on his special "look" for the giant in order to fat-shame him into sharing his delectables. The little dog would stare and stare at the giant making direct eye contact during important Houston Texans games and occasionally add a whimper to maximize the pathos. Before long the giant was so guilty about not sharing his bounty that he relented and let the little dog lick his plate. The sweet little dog was so happy, he would lick each plate clean and often burp in delight. This became a habit for both the giant and the little dog and life was grand.

Then one day the wife of the giant (known in the village as the wicked witch) took the sweet little dog to the vet. The stern vet looked at the scale and then peered over his reading glasses at the little dog and said "you my friend are obese". The little dog howled.....

End of Chapter One