A big Thank You!!
davemacdonald31
Posts: 196 Member
I wanna give out a big thank you to @Novusdies for getting me involved in this group. It's a great group of people who are going after the same goal, and I don't feel like I'm going at this alone! There are lots of great people here with similar goals, and we all need help from time to time. I find myself coming into this group quite a bit every day to read all I can, to get as much knowledge as I possibly can get. I just want to cheer everybody on. We all can reach the goal we created for ourselves. It won't be overnight, or even in the next 6 months, but we all can do it. If someone is getting down, let's help them back up. I have 95lbs to go. I started 2 weeks ago needing to drop 103 lbs. I know I'll get there. I don't care when I get there, as long as I get there. And I WILL!!
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I'll say thank you here as well. I actually found the group when I saw @davemacdonald31's post and Novus suggesting this group to him.
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I appreciate it.
My motives were not altogether unselfish though. I have felt kind of alone in the main MFP forums when it comes to discussing issues that concern people with more to lose. I have really enjoyed this group so far.
Here is what I have found though over the last 18 months of this weight loss effort... there is not a lot of resources for people like us. Almost all of the normal weight loss resources apply of course but losing faster than 2 pounds a week is not well explained. My doctor could not guide me so he sent me to a registered dietitian who could also not guide me so it is not just a lack of online resources either.
I recently encountered a guy in the main MFP forums that was complaining of gaining weight. He started somewhere in the 600 pound range and had already lost 300 pounds. His weight shot up more than 10 pounds in a single month. The normal, and very helpful MFP posters, went to work suggesting he needed a food scale and that he was eating more than he realized. They didn't know because they did not have personal experience that a person that has lost a lot of weight can have issues with water retention that are well outside the normal range. I recognized it immediately because it has happened to me twice while in a calorie deficit. Last Thanksgiving I shot up 17 pounds and in April of this year I shot up 20 after eating maintenance calories for multiple days. I suggested that the guy see a doctor because obviously just because my kidneys are fine doesn't mean his are. The other thing is I immediately knew the guy was in a larger than normal deficit and the chances of him eating more than he realized was very slim especially after losing 300 pounds already. I am not going to say he needed me but he needed someone with my experience to help him. We need a group like this.
I hate really long posts but to finish my thoughts the other thing I HATE is that so many people call me unique because I have lost over 150 pounds on a self-directed path. My doctor said he had never seen anyone like me before. Both RDs I have seen said something similar. Others immediately assume I have had weight loss surgery. I know MANY other people have done it but I really want to help others so that my story becomes less and less "amazing".
I am counting on all of you not to quit and completely change your lives for the better so that more and more people like us find hope in our success. Just keep going no matter what.6 -
My motives were not altogether unselfish though. I have felt kind of alone in the main MFP forums when it comes to discussing issues that concern people with more to lose.
That's exactly why I was looking for a group like this. Hard to call it selfishness when your desire for a community is helping others, IMO!
Many people see my current loss and think of it as some crazy big number, because their perspective is so different than mine. My -69 lbs (well 67 at the moment due to a frustrating uptick/fluctuation) is nowhere near where I want to be. I have another 120 to go, and even then I'd be ~195lbs and could probably lose more still. Others who make that kind of comment are probably coming on here to try to lose 30-40 lbs.
Anyway, just wanted to say I appreciate the group. Thanks again.5 -
I completely agree with all of the above. People who have never been morbidly obese don't know what it's like. I wish I only had 20 lbs to lose, but that is not the case. It's really hard to completely change the way you eat, but also the way you think about food/eating.
Novusdies, part of what helps so much for me is your attitude about things. Most people on the forums talk about how you have to be so strict and do everything just right or you're going to fail. You look at things in terms of being good enough. Yes, you have to put the effort in, but you have to make a reasonable effort. I can't live my whole life avoiding "bad" food and exercising for hours every day of the week. I'm trying to make small changes that I can live with long term/forever. The biggest help for me has been to accept when you do something wrong and move on from it. In the past, I would always let one small set back derail me, but that's stupid. I've been doing pretty well for the last few weeks, so why undo all that progress for one thing? My goal for this week was to work out 3 days, but I just couldn't do it today. I was really tired and didn't feel well and I could not force myself to do it. I was mad at myself for being lazy, especially since I really want to try to get under 300 lbs this week. But then I thought about what you and other have said, and I decided that it was ok. I worked out the last 2 days, and I will eat a little lighter today to still try to reach my goal. I wasn't perfect with eating this week, but I was still pretty good so I should have some loss. And I decided that it won't kill me if I don't hit the under 300 mark tomorrow. I will just try harder next week to get there because it's something that's very important to me. I'm slowly learning to get rid of the instant gratification mentality and realize that getting there late is better than not getting there at all. I attribute that largely to you and this group, even if it's only been a couple of days.
You are all rockstars, and I'm very happy to have you all here for support. I had decided that I would do this weight loss attempt alone because in the past having friends on here didn't really help, but this group feels different and I'm very happy I joined. I hope I can be as encouraging to everyone else in the future as you have all been to me already, even if it was indirectly.4 -
Well said NovusDies! I can always count on you to say the right things! I love the knowledge, time, and effort you put forth in this group. It goes a long way with me, and I am very impressed. I am not a person who impresses easily, so that is saying something. Although, I just started my weight loss journey, no I won't call it that. It's not a journey. It's a life style change in which I will lose weight as a result. I am down 8 lbs in 2 weeks, and I look forward to reading everyone's comments, and concerns, and I will help out where I can.0
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LilSkittles22 wrote: »I completely agree with all of the above. People who have never been morbidly obese don't know what it's like. I wish I only had 20 lbs to lose, but that is not the case. It's really hard to completely change the way you eat, but also the way you think about food/eating.
Novusdies, part of what helps so much for me is your attitude about things. Most people on the forums talk about how you have to be so strict and do everything just right or you're going to fail. You look at things in terms of being good enough. Yes, you have to put the effort in, but you have to make a reasonable effort. I can't live my whole life avoiding "bad" food and exercising for hours every day of the week. I'm trying to make small changes that I can live with long term/forever. The biggest help for me has been to accept when you do something wrong and move on from it. In the past, I would always let one small set back derail me, but that's stupid. I've been doing pretty well for the last few weeks, so why undo all that progress for one thing? My goal for this week was to work out 3 days, but I just couldn't do it today. I was really tired and didn't feel well and I could not force myself to do it. I was mad at myself for being lazy, especially since I really want to try to get under 300 lbs this week. But then I thought about what you and other have said, and I decided that it was ok. I worked out the last 2 days, and I will eat a little lighter today to still try to reach my goal. I wasn't perfect with eating this week, but I was still pretty good so I should have some loss. And I decided that it won't kill me if I don't hit the under 300 mark tomorrow. I will just try harder next week to get there because it's something that's very important to me. I'm slowly learning to get rid of the instant gratification mentality and realize that getting there late is better than not getting there at all. I attribute that largely to you and this group, even if it's only been a couple of days.
You are all rockstars, and I'm very happy to have you all here for support. I had decided that I would do this weight loss attempt alone because in the past having friends on here didn't really help, but this group feels different and I'm very happy I joined. I hope I can be as encouraging to everyone else in the future as you have all been to me already, even if it was indirectly.
As weird as it may sound I am very proud of you for not working out today. There may come a time when your eating has stabilized and your energy stays high that you will work out each time according to your plan. That time doesn't have to be right now though. You need to push yourself not shove yourself.
It isn't lazy it is prudent. You are in the early stages and the last thing you need to feel is miserable for something you can avoid. If you had gone today you might have started a negative association with it and then the next time you are on the line of not going and you should this could be the deciding factor. Miss enough days and it becomes a habit and suddenly you are not exercising at all. It fits into one of my rules: "I don't have to love what I need to do to lose weight but I can't hate it."
The next time it is on your plan though you need to go unless you are physically too sick to do it. Do a really light work out if you don't feel great and then call it a day. Just like you don't want a pattern of forcing yourself to do it when you really don't want to you don't want a pattern of missing either. Like all of life it is a balancing act. This assumes you like doing it. If you don't then that is another discussion.
You are not going to be able to force that sub 300 though with eating a little lighter today. Weight loss is not nearly that linear. If you are feeling tired today I suggest you eat your normal amount and let the new low weight happen when it happens because it will anyway. If you are tired again tomorrow because you ate lighter today that is no good. It affects a negative effect on your non-exercise activity (when you are tired you move less). Those century changes are hard to ignore so I get it. I do my best not to but I get wrapped up in them too.3 -
I love this group & am thankful for each & every one of you! It is definitely a goal of mine to get better about commenting / being active in the group even if I feel like I don't have anything particularly interesting to say. I read this group multiple times a day, just about every day & can relate to almost every post! 2
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This is a great little group. I'm finding myself browsing all your stories on here more than the main forum, there is soooo much rubbish on there it winds me up.
You're right novus, unless you've been 300lbs (or more) it's really hard to appreciate the difficulties. You'd think with so much to lose that it would be easy to just cut the calories or do a workout but it most certainly is not, so hats off to all of us who are trying our best.
I too am losing weight through change, I'm not doing anything that I can't maintain - I eat anything I want to but now I moderate the portion sizes and educating myself at the same time.
I look forward to seeing lots of successes from everyone in the future.3 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »This is a great little group. I'm finding myself browsing all your stories on here more than the main forum, there is soooo much rubbish on there it winds me up.
You're right novus, unless you've been 300lbs (or more) it's really hard to appreciate the difficulties. You'd think with so much to lose that it would be easy to just cut the calories or do a workout but it most certainly is not, so hats off to all of us who are trying our best.
I too am losing weight through change, I'm not doing anything that I can't maintain - I eat anything I want to but now I moderate the portion sizes and educating myself at the same time.
I look forward to seeing lots of successes from everyone in the future.
You will find that I plan to be very protective of this group. We are here for sensible and proven methods to further our goals. I don't care about threads veering off subject, jokes, cat pics (I wouldn't push this theory), and people having fun. When it comes to weight loss though it will not be dumb crap like apple cider vinegar and detoxes. As the rules state... all roads must lead to a calorie deficit.2 -
Anyone doing keto?
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Jackie9003 wrote: »Anyone doing keto?
I have no problems with keto as long as it is a calorie deficit based discussion not "the insulins are making me fat" or ketosis equals weight loss. I would hope anyone doing keto was planning on sticking with it past their weight loss phase and into their maintenance for at least a few years but I am not requiring it.0 -
I've seen studies that says it can work and fair enough, but it's not for me either.
I was just being a bit naughty (sorry) as it seems to be the most common question I see, if people only looked through the forum they wouldn't feel the need to start "another" thread.1 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »I've seen studies that says it can work and fair enough, but it's not for me either.
I was just being a bit naughty (sorry) as it seems to be the most common question I see, if people only looked through the forum they wouldn't feel the need to start "another" thread.
Naughty is encouraged here. Not in the sexual sense of course.
I think I will avoid my rant right now about the "Does anyone here to keto?" threads.
Keto isn't for me either. I actually eat fairly low fat a lot of time because I love fish. I had to eat a serving of guac earlier just to bump my fat numbers to a healthy range.1 -
My favorite thing about reading everybody’s posts is you don’t really see the word diet. People are finding balance with food and not going to extremes. After years of diet discussions it is so refreshing to think I don’t have to find my magic bullet. I can eat sensibly without deprivation and move towards living a healthy life.2
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corkdorkva wrote: »My favorite thing about reading everybody’s posts is you don’t really see the word diet. People are finding balance with food and not going to extremes. After years of diet discussions it is so refreshing to think I don’t have to find my magic bullet. I can eat sensibly without deprivation and move towards living a healthy life.
Agree. Diet is a menu not an effective means to lose weight.
There is a lot of fish in my weekly diet. Good.
I am eating fish on my diet. Undesirable.1 -
LilSkittles22 wrote: »I completely agree with all of the above. People who have never been morbidly obese don't know what it's like. I wish I only had 20 lbs to lose, but that is not the case. It's really hard to completely change the way you eat, but also the way you think about food/eating.
Novusdies, part of what helps so much for me is your attitude about things. Most people on the forums talk about how you have to be so strict and do everything just right or you're going to fail. You look at things in terms of being good enough. Yes, you have to put the effort in, but you have to make a reasonable effort. I can't live my whole life avoiding "bad" food and exercising for hours every day of the week. I'm trying to make small changes that I can live with long term/forever. The biggest help for me has been to accept when you do something wrong and move on from it. In the past, I would always let one small set back derail me, but that's stupid. I've been doing pretty well for the last few weeks, so why undo all that progress for one thing? My goal for this week was to work out 3 days, but I just couldn't do it today. I was really tired and didn't feel well and I could not force myself to do it. I was mad at myself for being lazy, especially since I really want to try to get under 300 lbs this week. But then I thought about what you and other have said, and I decided that it was ok. I worked out the last 2 days, and I will eat a little lighter today to still try to reach my goal. I wasn't perfect with eating this week, but I was still pretty good so I should have some loss. And I decided that it won't kill me if I don't hit the under 300 mark tomorrow. I will just try harder next week to get there because it's something that's very important to me. I'm slowly learning to get rid of the instant gratification mentality and realize that getting there late is better than not getting there at all. I attribute that largely to you and this group, even if it's only been a couple of days.
You are all rockstars, and I'm very happy to have you all here for support. I had decided that I would do this weight loss attempt alone because in the past having friends on here didn't really help, but this group feels different and I'm very happy I joined. I hope I can be as encouraging to everyone else in the future as you have all been to me already, even if it was indirectly.
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I’ve seen other people post about one of my main problems which has been to eat “perfectly” for x amount of time, be non-perfect once and then completely fall apart. There is so much shame around being obese and it is so easy to be mean to ourselves. That one slip up must mean that I’m a failure and then, of course, I fail. But it is so counterproductive!
I’ve decided that has to stop this time. I love my life and I want to enjoy it as long and as actively as possible. I’m trying to go slow this time and I am going to eat food I enjoy with people I love. If I occasionally go over my calorie goal for the day, I will track it and move on.
About the greatness of this group: this is the first (and only) group I joined and I spent an entire day reading through so many before deciding to join. I was looking for others that are strongly committed to sustained good health and positive encouragement. Thank you, Novus, for starting this group. It’s amazing!
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The group (people) are what is amazing. I hit a MFP function, cobbled together a graphic, and seeded the group with some threads. The people here have amazed me because unlike the main forums where it seems like the sensible people are always outnumbered this group is full of them. It is a welcome relief. Anyone who reads my posts in the main forum knows I am fairly no-nonsense when it comes to weight loss. I am often misinterpreted (somewhat ) as a jerk. Nonsense held me back for a very long time and I re-gained a lot of weight after my various failures. I don't have patience for it anymore.
What I hate is seeing people in the main forums who you almost immediately know will fail. I don't care for it but I understand that not everyone is ready right now. I also understand that most weight loss efforts fail. I feel like if we control this group with our words a new person will either have to join in our conversation and hopefully succeed or move on to the next bad idea. This group doesn't promise easy, fast, or perfection. We are here for sustainable progress.
I haven't decided how much we should grow or if I should try to limit it at all. I have plugged our group in the main forum a few times which is how some of you found your way here but I have spaced it out so our initial growth would be manageable. I wouldn't want 200 people joining tomorrow because that could change the balance of conversation from sensible to who knows what. Of course a lot of people will join and never post or join and post a few times and move on so I am really only looking at the number of active posters which I think could still grow significantly. I would say we should shoot for tripling that number gradually and then see how that feels. This is OUR group though not MY group so anyone who has input is welcome to voice it.5 -
I don't want to create another thread so I will hijack this one...
I would like to thank @bjkoziara for her service to our group as a group leader. She definitely helped us get things started. Shortly after she experienced some health issues that I believe she may still be trying to sort out. I hope she can return to posting soon in great health and hopefully having made some progress that she can share with us as a member.
Thanks @bjkoziara. Please come back soon!6
This discussion has been closed.