Discussion: Additional Weight Loss Difficulties for Larger Losers

NovusDies
NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
This is what I have come across so far:

1) Loose skin - It isn't just ugly it develops rashes and other skin irritations very easily. I now use Hibiclens 3 times a week now and that has helped.

2) Fat weight distribution - It seems that shifting a large amount of weight can cause pressure in places that can cause pain. For a very long time when I was gaining weight I had right numbness in my upper right leg. It finally went away. 4 months into my journey downward it returned and it was there for 30 or so pounds.

3) Clothing - Fat loss for me doesn't happen evenly it happens expensively. Two different times I have gone a few months in gradually baggier clothes and then bought some new ones and then within 6 weeks they are way too big too again and I have to buy more. After that I go a few months again.

4) Even total strangers can tell that I have lost weight and so I get asked about it pretty often these days. I practically had a weight loss conference in a Subway one day because I kept getting questions about how I lost so much. I don't mind helping people but sometimes I just want to go about my day.

5) Fat brain - It seems like mentally I am always a little behind my physical progress. There are things I can do but often still think I can't.

6) Exercise - Depending on how much and how you carry your weight exercise can be harder on joints.

7) Everyone still has an opinion - Even after I lost 80 pounds on my self-directed method I still had people telling me the "best ways" to lose weight. Surprisingly enough most of my advice came from medical professionals and their advice was all terrible.


I am sure I am forgetting some things. What have you found to be an additional difficulty so far?

Replies

  • wsualumohsix
    wsualumohsix Posts: 28 Member
    #5 echoes for me on the body dysmorphia (kinda) side. I saw a picture of me hiking the other day taken by a friend. If I didn't know that was me (I was there and knew she was taking the picture)...I wouldn't have recognized it. I'm still a fat guy in my mind, even though all the actual evidence points in the opposite direction.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    #5 echoes for me on the body dysmorphia (kinda) side. I saw a picture of me hiking the other day taken by a friend. If I didn't know that was me (I was there and knew she was taking the picture)...I wouldn't have recognized it. I'm still a fat guy in my mind, even though all the actual evidence points in the opposite direction.

    @wsualumohsix I still have a ways to go before I am not longer a fat guy but I am substantially less fat than I was. Yesterday when I was getting my hair cut I spent more time looking in the mirror and actually paying attention than normal and it really didn't seem like me. I look at tight fitting places and I assume I can't squeeze through and I can. I see chairs with thin legs and worry about sitting in them.

    I was pleased with myself on Monday. When I went for a consult with my RD they had the extra wide chairs and the normal size chairs and I chose to sit in one of the normal ones. When I was there 2 months ago I sat in the plus sized one without even thinking about it.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    bjkoziara wrote: »
    I'm hoping that fat brain will pass me by, as I've always had the opposite problem as an adult. I think I look a certain way and feel pretty good about myself, but then I'll see a picture and think, is that really how large I am?

    Oh it happens in reverse too. I call it fat normalization. When you are in your daily routine doing the same thing in the same furniture, etc. you don't feel it as much. Boy when I traveled or had to actually see myself in a picture it was a pretty nasty jab. I was testing some security cameras a couple of years ago and caught myself on the video. I was shocked that the person in the video was me.
  • ktmiowa
    ktmiowa Posts: 13 Member
    bjkoziara wrote: »
    I'm hoping that fat brain will pass me by, as I've always had the opposite problem as an adult. I think I look a certain way and feel pretty good about myself, but then I'll see a picture and think, is that really how large I am?

    Me too. I finally saw a picture of myself in May and that was it. I was sickened at how I looked.
  • jlucas210
    jlucas210 Posts: 43 Member
    Another difficulty for larger losers is that it take many more pounds lost before you can see the difference (in appearance, clothing sizes, etc.). It has been important for me to remember that the flip side to that is that once I am closer to my goal, the scale loss will slow down, so while it may only be 10 lbs between sizes, the time it takes to lose 10 lbs will increase. As long as I'm doing what I need to do today & I'm trending in the right direction I'm really working on telling myself that is success.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    jlucas210 wrote: »
    Another difficulty for larger losers is that it take many more pounds lost before you can see the difference (in appearance, clothing sizes, etc.). It has been important for me to remember that the flip side to that is that once I am closer to my goal, the scale loss will slow down, so while it may only be 10 lbs between sizes, the time it takes to lose 10 lbs will increase. As long as I'm doing what I need to do today & I'm trending in the right direction I'm really working on telling myself that is success.

    This is true for me. I felt better after my first 15-20 pounds but it was mostly visceral fat I think so I didn't notice anything in appearance. I can't really remember at what weight I dropped a clothing size but I am pretty sure it was north of 50 pounds. However, I had very nearly outgrown the size shirt I started in and so far I am still the largest starting weight in this group I think.

    I think it is helpful to remember that as time moves on the weight to appearance change will flip. I am in my last third of my journey so it may start for me soon.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Yesterday I noticed what looked like an air pocket under my skin in my belly area. It was like someone reached in and pulled out a small handful of fat. That area really needed a new way to look worse apparently. Weight loss can be so weird.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    So here is an interesting one that I actually just experienced... it appears that some people like the dynamic of you being the heavier person. I have a friend who says he would like to lose 50 pounds. He has become obsessed with my weight loss and I think it is because he assumes I will soon weigh less than him. I really don't know how actively he is trying to lose so I suppose that could happen. I just told him that it can be easier to lose 200+ than it is to lose 50 but that doesn't always make sense to people.

    I don't get hung up on how people look (I actually barely notice most of the time) so to me he looks fine. If he does have 50 to lose then he probably does need to lose some for his general health but that has nothing to do with me or my weight.

    He is also one of those people that keeps wanting me to give him a "sexy" answer like keto to explain my weight loss. Sorry. I think from now on I will call what I do the Boring Weight Loss System when I get asked.
  • real_change
    real_change Posts: 53 Member
    It took me a while to realize that there's no magic weight loss program and it was very disappointing. But if you can accept slow weight loss (and fast doesn't seem sustainable for most of us so why not?) the Boring Weight Loss System is so much gentler and involves way less suffering (from hunger or exercising too much).

    I wouldn't be surprised if you experience that again from someone else. It's hard for others to accept our changes some times. We're all so egocentric and often expect everyone else in our lives to stay static. It's good for him to have a friend like you.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    It took me a while to realize that there's no magic weight loss program and it was very disappointing. But if you can accept slow weight loss (and fast doesn't seem sustainable for most of us so why not?) the Boring Weight Loss System is so much gentler and involves way less suffering (from hunger or exercising too much).

    I wouldn't be surprised if you experience that again from someone else. It's hard for others to accept our changes some times. We're all so egocentric and often expect everyone else in our lives to stay static. It's good for him to have a friend like you.

    I think it is also difficult for people to understand who have never gained so much that it greatly impairs their freedom. I am sure he has challenges at 50 over so I would not presume to say his life is always easy but it is not quite the same. I was too heavy to think competitively towards another person. I know what it means. I can only root for people to achieve the results they need or want.

    I picked 75+ for this group because that is the weight I remember being at when things started getting tough. That was also the weight I was at when my employer at the time decided he need to do a fat intervention for me involving the entire office staff. Boy is he lucky I was never litigious. Obviously there is no magic number and on a case by case basis we would definitely accept people who need to lose less but I had to pick a number for a general guideline. The line is really to distinguish between people who want to improve their appearance (nothing wrong with that) and people who need it to live a higher quality life.
  • real_change
    real_change Posts: 53 Member
    Wow, I cannot believe your boss did that to you. That is so wrong and in no way helpful. As if those of us who struggle with weight need anymore shame piled on.

    You are completely right about impaired quality of life. I have a list of reasons for why I want to lose weight and all but one are about being healthier, more active and enjoying life more because of it.
  • real_change
    real_change Posts: 53 Member
    One thing I thought of about 75+ for this group after your post. Women on average weight less than men and have smaller frames. I personally began to really feel my limitations at ~45-50 lbs. I barely made the cut for this group but feel like I can relate to everything talked about here. Just something to think on if you ever want to grow the group.

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    One thing I thought of about 75+ for this group after your post. Women on average weight less than men and have smaller frames. I personally began to really feel my limitations at ~45-50 lbs. I barely made the cut for this group but feel like I can relate to everything talked about here. Just something to think on if you ever want to grow the group.


    That is a valid point. The same thing would be true of shorter men. I am open to changing the policy as long as we keep it simple and easy to understand. For instance BMI would probably be a more fair way of drawing the line but some people won't know what it is or where they stand. You would think that most people would just Google it but I have been on message boards long enough to know that using a search engine is not the obvious choice for a lot of people when presented with something they don't understand.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Wow, I cannot believe your boss did that to you. That is so wrong and in no way helpful. As if those of us who struggle with weight need anymore shame piled on.

    You are completely right about impaired quality of life. I have a list of reasons for why I want to lose weight and all but one are about being healthier, more active and enjoying life more because of it.

    Well it was the 90's and he was a flaming donkey butt so what are you going to do?

    I would be lying if I didn't say that having more clothing options wouldn't appeal to me. I wouldn't mind looking a little sharper. I got to a place where finding a shirt that felt right meant buying the same shirt in different colors so my wardrobe got extremely boring. That is ice cream on the pie for me though (I don't like cake).