Sorry I have been MIA online - distracting week - been stressing over a job search - been dealing with it for over 2 months and it came to a head and I finally have a verbal offer (written s/b Monday) so I'll give notice sometime this week and then take a few weeks off work totally before I start in 2020 to prepare for a huge challenge that comes with this opportunity. I did purposefully indulge for a few days over the past two weeks knowing it was temporary and logged it all. I gained a pound back when I weighed in last Sunday which I think I've lost over this past week, I'll see tomorrow, it was a lot of sodium filled foods so my body may be excited to retain water for a while longer. It's all good. I did have an unexpected indulge (binge?) yesterday - I REALLY wanted McDonald's so knowing I'd not handle it right I deluded myself that I'd get a double cheeseburger and be done with it...and to nobody's surprise I bought a big mac, qtr pounder, AND a basket of fries....and ate all but half of the big mac. And (TMI warning) spent a LOT of time in the bathroom with tons of cramping and other 'issues' all last night. Logged it all. Interesting experience. Not guilty or anything, after the pain I was in I have no need for guilt, lol. I'll see what the scale says tomorrow but nothing else has changed. I planned and logged out my food for the week, bought only what I need and today was just fine for me. I do make swaps so I'm not forcing myself to have things I don't want but I keep my options limited.

p.s. - it's truly amazing how much less money I spend on food. Had an egg roll, large wonton soup w/ noodles and it was over $10, had pizza delivered ($22 - tossed what I didn't eat), had Five Guys $20. That McDonald's from yesterday was like $10. Four meals over $60? That's crazy. I buy a bag of frozen stir fry veggies w/ sauce packet at Aldi for $4, add in 2 cups of extra frozen broccoli (entire bag is $1), add in microwave cups of rice ($2 for two cups) and make 2 really large and filling meals for $7.

I guess I'm using this as a kind of blog. If I'm not supposed to I'll stop, not sure the preferred rules of the group.

I made a list of every milestone I will hit along my journey. I did list a goal date but that's not as important as the actual date for obvious reasons. I chose pounds lost, % of weight loss goals, and specific scale goals. For example I have lost 20 pounds, and my next few goals are 10% of starting weight lost, 25 pounds, then to be in the 220s. And so on. I really wanted to do by dress size too but that will stress me out. I was a tight 22W when I started in Sept but I cannot really say where I"m at now since every outfit is different. Right now an 18 in a work pant fits fine, an 18 in my jeans is technically on but it doesn't actually fit yet, plus my belly fat distorts things. Then on top I'm making progress but not as much as my pants (was a very tight 22W suit jacket and now a reasonably fitting 20W jacket). So which to track? Plus we cannot spot reduce (sadly, if anyone wants to be an instant gazillionairre you should work on that). So although the dress size matters to me more than the scale I can't use that for milestones to track. It will stress me out.

BUT (always a but)

I start a new job in January and will have to buy new clothes. It's business casual for the most part, and I don't have clothes for that. I REALLY want to be not in the plus size. I also won't buy TOO much but since it's a new job it will be more than I want to considering I'll have to rebuy things over and over again. I despise shopping and not because I'm fat, the stereotype of women and shopping never applied to me ever in my life. If I ever were to be wealthy I'd 100% hire someone to just put stuff in my closet that I should wear. I have zero interest in having input into the process.

Weigh in is tomorrow morning. If I lose 2.2 pounds I hit the 25 pounds lost. If I lose 2.8 I hit that and 10% of my starting weight. If I lose 3.4 I hit both of those and will be in the 220s. But in the end if I lost even .2 of a pound it is still a loss and I'll take it!

I have found in the past being size 18 is tricky. Plus 18 is cut too big, regular 18 is too tight. When I've been larger or smaller I had options, at 18 and 16 not so much. A size 14 will help but that's quite some time away from now. I'll put off the shopping until the last minute as usual. I have suits in smaller sizes so I can maybe just buy tops and use the pants (I normally wear sleeveless under my suit jacket).

I wish I didnt despise it. People seem to enjoy putting their newly slimmed bodies into smaller clothes and the excitement of it all.

@merph518 is it wrong of me to be somewhat relieved men have these issues as well? I am not wishing ill-will but I generally thought mens' clothing was cut more standardized. I didn't realize they could relate as well so I'm glad I learned something.

@michne16 Can we work on a clothing fairy that just tells us what we should wear? I really just don't care about any of this. The only good part of being slimmer is that the same clothes in a smaller size don't look as sloppy. But I've got the big boobs so shirts are baggy to fit over 'em and got big hips but a flat butt (life is cruel) so pants hang/sag from my butt. I know even at my goal size I'm never going to have that problem go away nor will I tailor my clothes but simply being smaller makes it not as sloppy.

@dembkogirl I hate shopping so much that the idea of having to wade through the goodwill/thrift is trauma inducing! I dated someone and he laughed because I'll never do a yard sale or flea market but enjoy auctions immensely. He said it was b/c it was nice and orderly and I don't have to browse, lol.

If anyone is in western PA and loves to shop and dress up other people you just let me know.

I weighed in on the 24th and hit both the 25 pound mark (was 26) and 10% of my starting weight (11.64%). Last Sunday the 1st I got into the 220s (226.2). I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I haven't been hungry / wanting to eat this past week yet I've been feeling really bloated so whatever tomorrow brings I'll take it and move on. If I lose .2 of a pound I'll hit the 30 pound milestone which would be cool. I also have been having a rosacea flare up too so something is clearly off with me and my body. I don't have a facial until the 21st though. I'll ride it out and see how I feel in a few days.

I am leaving my job this week so I have a bunch going on. I pre-tracked already and some days that meal can be my only meal but that's okay, not too unusual for me though I usually like my large meal in the evening. I am not intermittent fasting or whatever people call it, it's not intentionally doing that. I enjoy the feeling of being full (not stuffed) so I bunch my calories together rather than spreading it out.

Also, and you may find this weird but I also enjoy feeling hungry (not starving). Having my food planned and ready to go makes feeling hungry easier, I know I can easily rectify it. I believe that since I stuffed myself so often and for so long that feeling hungry is new and also helps me appreciate the luxury that I have access to food anytime I want it.

All that said I had a goal of 224 for tomorrow that I will be shocked if I come even close to hitting. On paper I should be there based on my calorie input but I feel like my body is not ready to let more weight go right now. But boy, I really would like to see 226.0 so I can claim my 30 pound milestone!

Thanks, I did get my new milestone which was a nice surprise! I posted a lot more detail in the shared numbers thread so won't redo it here.

Lost my long post, to summarize....sorry I went MIA. Started a new job and eyeball deep in a new relationship. Haven't been online at all. Checked in on the scale time to time, just posted today though. Up 1 pound this past month. That's good news. Didn't revert to my ood weight. Hoping things calm down and get more normalized and then back on the downward trajectory. Missed a lot of you guys. Hope all is well.